CU:LT S01E04
Show Opener
Fun House Hardcore Match
One of those creepy fucking clown fun houses you see at carnivals with a gaping mouth and wide eyes... yeah anyway inside there is a bunch of weapons and mirrors and shit to fuck your opponent up with.
Craig Cogan vs Lobo
Fun House Hardcore Match
One of those creepy fucking clown fun houses you see at carnivals with a gaping mouth and wide eyes... yeah anyway inside there is a bunch of weapons and mirrors and shit to fuck your opponent up with.
Craig Cogan vs Lobo
The show opens focusing on an old fun house near the arena Massacre in Miami takes place. The Whole Cogan… Craig Fuckin’ Cogan appears on screen looking up at the gaping mouth of a plastic clown used to face the building.
Cogan’s cellphone rings and he picks it up.
Voice: Do you like hurting other people?
Cogan: I mean, not overly…
The caller hangs up and Cogan shrugs looking up at the big gaping clown mouth.
Cogan: Must be the spot.
He says his exceptional joints walk him in the direction of the fun house, as his foot touches the first step he hears minical laughter from inside. He slows his step and puts his foot on the second one the laughter intensifies. Cogan gets to the third and final step and the laugh gets even louder and more robust. Cogan thinks it’s the creaking step leaps up and down and the laughter increases until it turns into a vicious cough. Cogan can hear a voice inside the funhouse.
Lobo: fuck… shit…
The psycho clown is coughing inside trying to get his breath as Cogan shrugs on the outside of the fun house before walking into the gaping mouth of the plastic clown home. As Cogan enter’s he’s greeted by a hall of mirrors where he has to navigate his way through. Cogan is now looking at a bunch of other Cogans.
Lobo: Who is leaving messages on your answering machine?
Cogan gulps, sticking his hand out to make sure the mirror in front of his is there and not part of the route to escape.
Cogan: Pretty sure it’s student loans… they won’t leave me alone.
Then the lights go out, somehow all the images of Cogan in the mirrors are replaced with Lobo, the sadistic deathmatch clown, making an appearance at CU:LT.
Cogan closes his eyes for a moment trying to make his way along the path when the Lobo to his left cracks him in the face with a right snapping his head back. Cogan reaches out but misses the clown and falls forward staggering along the path once more. As Cogan looks up it appears to be a straight shot for a bit, but the walls are all lined with Lobo’s in the mirror – one of them bound to be real.
Lobo: Where are you right now?
Cogan: Miami bitch…
Cogan decides to just run for it… Lobo sticks his foot out and Craig falls to the ground. Lobo starts kicking him in the ribs over and over. Cogan manages to pull himself up using the mirrors on either side and spears the clown to the ground. He uses the strength of his extraordinary joints to hold him to the ground.
Lobo tries to fight to get up swaying Cogan back and forth but his body is just too strong – too perfect – too versatile.
The lights go out once more and when it comes to Cogan is wrestling the decaying carcass of a horse. He leaps back horrified only to be contented once again by a hall of crazy clowns. Cogan runs right through the middle to the images at the end and drives his head through glass mirror cutting himself all to fuck.
Cogan busting through the mirror lands him in a room with a ball pit in the center. Lobo walks into the room and throws a handful of mirror shards into the face of the already bloodied Cogan. He swipes at Lobo but has no luck as he is hoisted up and powerbombed on the edge of the ball pit.
Lobo: Why are we having this conversation?
Cogan: I… don’t… even… know YOU!!! Stranger danger.
Cogan rolls around holding his back – as Lobo gets closer he upkicks the clown in the face. Cogan then hits a suplex – finally realizing he’s ina fucking fight. He picks Lobo up in a gorilla press slam and tosses him into the ball pit. Cogan follows him in with an elbow drop.
That turns out to be a mistake as hypodermic needles mixed in with the plastic balls – Cogan pulls his arm out and it looks like a pincushion. Lobo pops up like Jaws from the fucking see needles in his cheeks and shit and he bites as the forehead of Cogan.
Cogan manages to kick him off and swims for the edge, hoisting himself up and out of the ball pit searching for an escape. He sees a door and takes it – entering a room filled with stuffed animals – prizes for carnival games. Along the walls are tanks of laughing gas. And there Lobo is again, dragging an oversized mallet – he flicks on the laughing gas and it’s not long before both competitors are laughing their asses off.
Lobo swings the hammer and misses Cogan by inches clipping one of the stuffed animals and tearing the fabric – revealing that they are all stuffed with bricks. Cogan picks a brick up and lobs it at Lobo hitting in the face and knocking him back.
Cogan backdrops Lobo into the pile of brick stuffed animals forcing him to drop the mallet. Cogan picks it up but the gas is becoming too much, tears are streaming down his face mixing with blood, his face muscles aching from the uncontrollable chuckling. He lifts the mallet above his head but the sleepy side effects of the gas are starting to hit.
Lobo seems more used to it, he’s laughing his ass off but slams Cogan down to the ground. Lobo lifts the maller above his head but it hits the light fixture above – electricity trickles through the metal bits coating the mallet and shock Lobo, he lets it fall and the hot metal catches fire to the fabric of the stuffed animals in the room.
Cogan is to his feet now – he barely fucking hooks Lobo’s head but he takes him down with a DDT and scrambles toward the exit – his face controting as he tries to control the laughter. He lands outside the funhouse still howling into the night.
BOOM!!!!
The huge fucking clown head behind his explodes into a million pieces – the fire inside the funhouse igniting the laughing gas inside. Two clown shoes float through the air and land right beside Cogan perfectly – the toe of one still burning – the audience inside The FTX arena in Miami Florida left to assume they belong to Lobo.
Suddenly a hand reaches down with a cigarette between two fingers and lights the end on the burning clown shoe. Cogan – now able to control his laughter looks up through the blood and salty tears to see Casanova English puffing a cigarette right above him…
English: You win.
English winks and walks toward the arena as the logo for Massacre in Miami flashes on the screen.
Cogan’s cellphone rings and he picks it up.
Voice: Do you like hurting other people?
Cogan: I mean, not overly…
The caller hangs up and Cogan shrugs looking up at the big gaping clown mouth.
Cogan: Must be the spot.
He says his exceptional joints walk him in the direction of the fun house, as his foot touches the first step he hears minical laughter from inside. He slows his step and puts his foot on the second one the laughter intensifies. Cogan gets to the third and final step and the laugh gets even louder and more robust. Cogan thinks it’s the creaking step leaps up and down and the laughter increases until it turns into a vicious cough. Cogan can hear a voice inside the funhouse.
Lobo: fuck… shit…
The psycho clown is coughing inside trying to get his breath as Cogan shrugs on the outside of the fun house before walking into the gaping mouth of the plastic clown home. As Cogan enter’s he’s greeted by a hall of mirrors where he has to navigate his way through. Cogan is now looking at a bunch of other Cogans.
Lobo: Who is leaving messages on your answering machine?
Cogan gulps, sticking his hand out to make sure the mirror in front of his is there and not part of the route to escape.
Cogan: Pretty sure it’s student loans… they won’t leave me alone.
Then the lights go out, somehow all the images of Cogan in the mirrors are replaced with Lobo, the sadistic deathmatch clown, making an appearance at CU:LT.
Cogan closes his eyes for a moment trying to make his way along the path when the Lobo to his left cracks him in the face with a right snapping his head back. Cogan reaches out but misses the clown and falls forward staggering along the path once more. As Cogan looks up it appears to be a straight shot for a bit, but the walls are all lined with Lobo’s in the mirror – one of them bound to be real.
Lobo: Where are you right now?
Cogan: Miami bitch…
Cogan decides to just run for it… Lobo sticks his foot out and Craig falls to the ground. Lobo starts kicking him in the ribs over and over. Cogan manages to pull himself up using the mirrors on either side and spears the clown to the ground. He uses the strength of his extraordinary joints to hold him to the ground.
Lobo tries to fight to get up swaying Cogan back and forth but his body is just too strong – too perfect – too versatile.
The lights go out once more and when it comes to Cogan is wrestling the decaying carcass of a horse. He leaps back horrified only to be contented once again by a hall of crazy clowns. Cogan runs right through the middle to the images at the end and drives his head through glass mirror cutting himself all to fuck.
Cogan busting through the mirror lands him in a room with a ball pit in the center. Lobo walks into the room and throws a handful of mirror shards into the face of the already bloodied Cogan. He swipes at Lobo but has no luck as he is hoisted up and powerbombed on the edge of the ball pit.
Lobo: Why are we having this conversation?
Cogan: I… don’t… even… know YOU!!! Stranger danger.
Cogan rolls around holding his back – as Lobo gets closer he upkicks the clown in the face. Cogan then hits a suplex – finally realizing he’s ina fucking fight. He picks Lobo up in a gorilla press slam and tosses him into the ball pit. Cogan follows him in with an elbow drop.
That turns out to be a mistake as hypodermic needles mixed in with the plastic balls – Cogan pulls his arm out and it looks like a pincushion. Lobo pops up like Jaws from the fucking see needles in his cheeks and shit and he bites as the forehead of Cogan.
Cogan manages to kick him off and swims for the edge, hoisting himself up and out of the ball pit searching for an escape. He sees a door and takes it – entering a room filled with stuffed animals – prizes for carnival games. Along the walls are tanks of laughing gas. And there Lobo is again, dragging an oversized mallet – he flicks on the laughing gas and it’s not long before both competitors are laughing their asses off.
Lobo swings the hammer and misses Cogan by inches clipping one of the stuffed animals and tearing the fabric – revealing that they are all stuffed with bricks. Cogan picks a brick up and lobs it at Lobo hitting in the face and knocking him back.
Cogan backdrops Lobo into the pile of brick stuffed animals forcing him to drop the mallet. Cogan picks it up but the gas is becoming too much, tears are streaming down his face mixing with blood, his face muscles aching from the uncontrollable chuckling. He lifts the mallet above his head but the sleepy side effects of the gas are starting to hit.
Lobo seems more used to it, he’s laughing his ass off but slams Cogan down to the ground. Lobo lifts the maller above his head but it hits the light fixture above – electricity trickles through the metal bits coating the mallet and shock Lobo, he lets it fall and the hot metal catches fire to the fabric of the stuffed animals in the room.
Cogan is to his feet now – he barely fucking hooks Lobo’s head but he takes him down with a DDT and scrambles toward the exit – his face controting as he tries to control the laughter. He lands outside the funhouse still howling into the night.
BOOM!!!!
The huge fucking clown head behind his explodes into a million pieces – the fire inside the funhouse igniting the laughing gas inside. Two clown shoes float through the air and land right beside Cogan perfectly – the toe of one still burning – the audience inside The FTX arena in Miami Florida left to assume they belong to Lobo.
Suddenly a hand reaches down with a cigarette between two fingers and lights the end on the burning clown shoe. Cogan – now able to control his laughter looks up through the blood and salty tears to see Casanova English puffing a cigarette right above him…
English: You win.
English winks and walks toward the arena as the logo for Massacre in Miami flashes on the screen.
The camera pans around the arena as the graphics for Massacre in Miami appear on the big screen – April 29, 1992 (Miami) by Sublime rings out in The FTX arena. Ring announcer Anderson Shepley stands in the center of the ring dressed in a palm tree pattern shirt.
Anderson: Welcome to Combat Unlimited: Lethal Trials. THIS IS MASSACRE IN MIAMI!
Shepley yells into the microphone and the crowd pops huge.
Foote: Well here we are we finally made it to Florida and I think you just watched a clown die. Anyway this state has a storied history in professional wrestling and it’s time CU:LT leaves its footprint in Miami.
Sting: We have a hell of a show… and by now we know how these events always kick off.
The eerie voice of a former member of the notorious Manson Family blasts out in the arena now signaling the arrival of the CU:LT Leader.
"yeah, I
remember her saying:
I'm already dead... I'm already dead... I'm
already dead..."
Foote: English recently announced a hiatus from in ring action now that Project Honor has closed down following a major locker room controversy. He says for the rest of the Summer he will be only focusing on making CU:LT a success.
The lights come on slowly and Casanova English is standing in front of his towering muscle – Bash Daddy. English walks toward the ring and the big man saunters down the ramp behind him.
"You're going to get up and scream. I'm
already dead... I'm already dead... I'm already dead..."
You're
going to get up and-
Burn an x in your head."
Sting: English hasn’t been as vocal leading up to this show like he has in the past. I know there has been at least one major change to the card.
English takes a long drag off his cigarette. He blows toward the Miami crowd and walks up the steps and into the ring with Bash following.
Anderson: Ladies and gentlemen… CU:LT Leader CASANOVA ENGLISHHHHH!
The crowd has a mixed reaction for the owner of CU:LT. He smirks as he yanks the microphone from Anderson and starts to pace the ring – running his finger along one of the top ropes.
English: Welcome once again to another edition of CU:LT wrestling. As some of you may or may not be aware of, I have decided to take a step back from active competition and focus on the growth of this company. Too long have I broken my back for ungrateful promoters. But that’s all I really came out here to say about myself.
Foote: The boss doing what he always does plugging the show.
Sting: Even I have to admit he is pretty good at that.
English: It seems a lot of people have a lot of say about CU:LT wrestling and how we do things, our budget, our presentation. I get it, it’s hard when other companies who have been around for two decades can’t even reach 100 views on their fucking Twitch stream. It must suck to see us be the talk of the town after we had a low budget opening show in the middle of the desert. It must eat you alive having to tune in month after month watching a full three hour show hoping to God we name drop..
English steps toward the hard cam making sure production gets him loud and clear.
English: Trust me, if I have something to fucking say you will hear it loud and clear. It must hurt knowing I didn’t have to kiss ass to get these people to sign a contract – and I don’t ask them to bow down. I simply ask them to show up to work. I’m not begging them to spread the seed of CU:LT wrestling across their social media like a bunch of bought drones. It must be hard watching as I have brought this company to prominence in a matter of months when others have been chipping away for years and years and years… with little to show for it crying over not making a Denzel Porter best of the year list.
English smirks as some of the crowd starts chanting Porter.
English: They say we suck, we’re not innovating, like I didn’t expect the criticism… the truth is I am tired of driving the point home and we will continue to let our actions speak. There will be some surprises throughout the night but I promise you all in this arena one thing… it will be a Massacre in Miami.
Foote: Fuckin’ right it will be – we are going to keep showing them how it’s done.
Sting: I’m not going to lie I’ve had some nice competitive offers for my service… but I believe in CU:LT.
English clears his throat letting the crowd enjoy their frenzy of cheers for a moment.
English: Tonight we will see if Jaka can pull off what would most consider an upset when she takes on the New World Champion Jane Doe. We have a match the whole wrestling world has their eyes on when rivals Lissie Hope and Chris Page pair up to take on the undefeated Three Ring Barney for the Double Homicide Championships. Moore tries to defend the CU:LT Classic Championship against Shogun – and of course JD Driftwood….
English is stopped in his tracks as the crowd starts chanting for the hometown hero JD Driftwood – probably the only arena in the country which would give that piece of shit this type of ovation.
Foote: They are losing it for the hometown boy.
English: JD Driftwood takes on Justin York in a light tube scaffold match for the SNUFF Championship.
English: But one other order of business… due to flight issues Jason Long and El Dragon Dorado will not be facing one another tonight in the Ouija Board tournament. That means that here tonight we will see the finals of the tournament take place when Charli Crawford takes on Max Deamon in a corporate branding match. The prize will be handed out and revealed before tonight’s main event.
English hands the microphone back to Anderson Shepley and his music hits. Bash sits on the middle rope making it easier for Casnaova to exit the ring. Bash follows the CU:LT leader to the back.
Anderson: Welcome to Combat Unlimited: Lethal Trials. THIS IS MASSACRE IN MIAMI!
Shepley yells into the microphone and the crowd pops huge.
Foote: Well here we are we finally made it to Florida and I think you just watched a clown die. Anyway this state has a storied history in professional wrestling and it’s time CU:LT leaves its footprint in Miami.
Sting: We have a hell of a show… and by now we know how these events always kick off.
The eerie voice of a former member of the notorious Manson Family blasts out in the arena now signaling the arrival of the CU:LT Leader.
"yeah, I
remember her saying:
I'm already dead... I'm already dead... I'm
already dead..."
Foote: English recently announced a hiatus from in ring action now that Project Honor has closed down following a major locker room controversy. He says for the rest of the Summer he will be only focusing on making CU:LT a success.
The lights come on slowly and Casanova English is standing in front of his towering muscle – Bash Daddy. English walks toward the ring and the big man saunters down the ramp behind him.
"You're going to get up and scream. I'm
already dead... I'm already dead... I'm already dead..."
You're
going to get up and-
Burn an x in your head."
Sting: English hasn’t been as vocal leading up to this show like he has in the past. I know there has been at least one major change to the card.
English takes a long drag off his cigarette. He blows toward the Miami crowd and walks up the steps and into the ring with Bash following.
Anderson: Ladies and gentlemen… CU:LT Leader CASANOVA ENGLISHHHHH!
The crowd has a mixed reaction for the owner of CU:LT. He smirks as he yanks the microphone from Anderson and starts to pace the ring – running his finger along one of the top ropes.
English: Welcome once again to another edition of CU:LT wrestling. As some of you may or may not be aware of, I have decided to take a step back from active competition and focus on the growth of this company. Too long have I broken my back for ungrateful promoters. But that’s all I really came out here to say about myself.
Foote: The boss doing what he always does plugging the show.
Sting: Even I have to admit he is pretty good at that.
English: It seems a lot of people have a lot of say about CU:LT wrestling and how we do things, our budget, our presentation. I get it, it’s hard when other companies who have been around for two decades can’t even reach 100 views on their fucking Twitch stream. It must suck to see us be the talk of the town after we had a low budget opening show in the middle of the desert. It must eat you alive having to tune in month after month watching a full three hour show hoping to God we name drop..
English steps toward the hard cam making sure production gets him loud and clear.
English: Trust me, if I have something to fucking say you will hear it loud and clear. It must hurt knowing I didn’t have to kiss ass to get these people to sign a contract – and I don’t ask them to bow down. I simply ask them to show up to work. I’m not begging them to spread the seed of CU:LT wrestling across their social media like a bunch of bought drones. It must be hard watching as I have brought this company to prominence in a matter of months when others have been chipping away for years and years and years… with little to show for it crying over not making a Denzel Porter best of the year list.
English smirks as some of the crowd starts chanting Porter.
English: They say we suck, we’re not innovating, like I didn’t expect the criticism… the truth is I am tired of driving the point home and we will continue to let our actions speak. There will be some surprises throughout the night but I promise you all in this arena one thing… it will be a Massacre in Miami.
Foote: Fuckin’ right it will be – we are going to keep showing them how it’s done.
Sting: I’m not going to lie I’ve had some nice competitive offers for my service… but I believe in CU:LT.
English clears his throat letting the crowd enjoy their frenzy of cheers for a moment.
English: Tonight we will see if Jaka can pull off what would most consider an upset when she takes on the New World Champion Jane Doe. We have a match the whole wrestling world has their eyes on when rivals Lissie Hope and Chris Page pair up to take on the undefeated Three Ring Barney for the Double Homicide Championships. Moore tries to defend the CU:LT Classic Championship against Shogun – and of course JD Driftwood….
English is stopped in his tracks as the crowd starts chanting for the hometown hero JD Driftwood – probably the only arena in the country which would give that piece of shit this type of ovation.
Foote: They are losing it for the hometown boy.
English: JD Driftwood takes on Justin York in a light tube scaffold match for the SNUFF Championship.
English: But one other order of business… due to flight issues Jason Long and El Dragon Dorado will not be facing one another tonight in the Ouija Board tournament. That means that here tonight we will see the finals of the tournament take place when Charli Crawford takes on Max Deamon in a corporate branding match. The prize will be handed out and revealed before tonight’s main event.
English hands the microphone back to Anderson Shepley and his music hits. Bash sits on the middle rope making it easier for Casnaova to exit the ring. Bash follows the CU:LT leader to the back.
Adrienne Beaufort, Ace Sky and Adi Gold are already in the ring. The camera pans over to Beaufort and zooms in. Katie Storms, her manager tried to hype the crowd up to cheer for her client.
Anderson: The following contest is a standard triple threat match… introducing first "The French Rose" Adrienne Beaufort!
Sting: She wasn’t able to pick up a win in her debut at What Happens in Vegas but she did impress a lot of people. She is pretty good in the ring as a rookie.
The camera then pans to Ace Sky – the crowd pops for the grinder who has yet to pick up a win.
Anderson: Weighing in at 185lbs standing 5'8" from Houston Texas… ACE SKY!
Sting: I really want to see Sky win a match – he has been grinding it out month after month putting on great matches but it just hasn’t been able to pull it off.
Foote: Wins don’t come easy in CU:LT. And one of these to is guaranteed to get their first in this opener Stace.
Sting: Don’t call me that.
Adi Gold pops up on camera next – stretching – somewhat sexually bending over and then looking back at the crowd like it’s an accident – it garnders a cheap pop.
Foote: Ya know… I think I like Adi Gold.
Anderson: And now coming to the ring fighting out of Hollywood, California standing 5”6’ and weighing in at 125lbs of SOLID FUCKING GOLD!!!! ‘GOLDgeous’ ADI GOLD!!!!!!
Adi takes a bow and waves to the crowd.
DING! DING! DING!
All three tie up in a grapple – Beaufort is the first to act with a hip toss on Ace Sky who lands on his feet and leaps up with a hurricanrana on Gold – Gold flips through landing on her feet as Beaufort hits a dropkick on Ace forcing him off the ropes when he comes back Gold and Beaufort hit a double hip toss – both drop their elbows into the chest of Sky. Gold and Beaufort back to a vertical base and staring each other down.
Sting: These three are more evenly matched than I thought.
Beaufort gets the best of Gold driving her into the corner. Both women manage to find themselves on the top rope jockeying for position. A shot to the gut and Beaufort has Gold up in a suplex – Ace Sky leaps springing off the middle rope and twisting through the air to pull Beaufort off the rope with a powerbomb slingshotting Gold from the top to the canvas below with a thud. Ace looks around – eager for his first win he climbs to the top rope. He nails Beaufort with a 450 splash and makes the cover.
Foote: Sky with that flippy dippy hippy bullshit.
1
2
3
KICKOUT!!!
Sting: Close, Sky could taste his first win there. You saw the worry on Katie Storms’ face out there thinking Beaufort was done quick.
After Ace is done pleading his case with referee Tom Garcia he spins around and is taken out with a roundhouse kick to the head from Gold. She follows up with a running spinning heel kick that sends Sky into the corner. Out of no where Beaufort tumbles across the ring with fucking cartwheel back handspring thing before burying a back elbow into the chest and upperneck of the cornered Ace Sky. Gold grabs Beaufort by the back of the head and hits her legs off the ropes springing the both backward and pulling Beaufort’s face down with a bulldog. Gold covers and Garcia stars the count.
Foote: Such faced paced action I can barely keep up with it. Gold with the pin now.
1
2
3
BREAKUP!!!!
Sting: What a save from Sky!
Ace breaks it up coming over the top with a springboard leg drop across the back of Gold’s neck. Ace grabs her and hits a deadlift bridging German suplex.
Sting: Ace’s third eye glowing now as he sees the finish line ahead.
1
2
BREAK!!!
Foote: Think that third eye might go black soon.
Beaufort comes down with a stomp in the guts of Ace breaking the pin up. Superkick from Beaufort is sidestepped by Sky and he grabs her arms, hooks them and pulls her upside down. Sky and Beaufort back to back her head toward the ground and Sky just spikes her down with a vertebreaker.
Foote: Jesus, he may have reduced her to just being a regular season ticket holder for Sin City Wrestling.
Sky nips up and Gold nails him with a few forearms. Gold hits a DDT, Sky springs back up though so she puts a little mustard on the son-of-a-bitch with an implant DDT. Gold keeps it going with a swinging neckbreaker. The crowd in The FTX arena is getting behind Gold and she feeds off the energy begging Ace Sky to get to his feet. She bolts at Ace with a running scissor kick.
Sting: GOLD RUSH! THAT HAS TO BE IT!
Garcia leaps into position for the count.
1
2
3
ROPE BREAK!!!
Foote: Sky with a foot on this rope and the crowd cheering – they have no idea who they want to get behind tonight Stacy.
Beaufort grabs a handful of Gold’s hair and brings her up to her feet for a moment before throwing her back down with a judo flip. Beaufort wraps Gold up in an arm bar – Gold flips over and clips out of it getting a rear naked choke. Beaufort drops her chin blocking the choke, she spins around and starts laying strikes down. Gold gets her legs up and puts Beaufort in a triangle choke. Beaufort slips her head out, grabs the legs and twists Gold over to a Texas clover leaf.
Sting: What a back and forth – these two showing off some technical skills to kick off the show tonight. It looks like Gold might have to quit here Foote.
Foote: These three red hot babyfaces all want to get the win tonight and I know Gold has some fight left in her still.
Ace comes and leaps over Beaufort with a front flip and drags her head down with a cutter. The crowd busts out Ace Sky chants as he sits up smirking at the crowd. Sky claps his hands together and directs his attention to Gold and Beaufort rolls out of the ring.
Sting: Sky is putting on a hell of a match here Foote. This guy gets a win and he has to be fast tracked for a shot at some championship gold.
Sky hits a suplex on Gold and rolls through for another, he keeps the pain train a rollin’ and nails a fisherman on the last one hooking the leg for a pin.
1
2
KICKOUT!!!
Foote: Gold is pretty fucking tough.
Beaufort is back in the ring and hits a backdrop on Ace. Sky gets up lets out a scream and swings wild – Beaufort ducks and delivers a snap German suplex fresh out of the oven. Sky back up, goes for a gut kick, his leg is caught and Beaufort hits a dragon screw into a heel hook – but Sky manages to float through and cartwheels to his feet. Beaufort catches his with a shining wizard. She scrambles to pin Sky but he falls right out of the ring.
Sting: THORN’S EDGE!!!! But Sky rolls out of the ring.
The crowd is groaning in unison for Beaufort as she turns back around to see Gold standing in the ring jawing for a fight. Beaufort clips Gold with a lariat. Gold rolls back to her feet and eats a super kick. Beaufort pulls Gold to her feet – Gold drags her down with a jaw breaker.
Foote: A little more ring awareness from Beaufort and she could have had this one in the bag. I’m sure that’s a lesson she won’t forget.
Gold with a springboard dropkick to Beaufort. Adi follows it up with a fameasser. Gold up on the second rope now – she leaps off and hits a leaping bulldog on Beaufort. Katie Storms slams the mat with her first trying to rally Beaufort back into it.
Sting: THE AD-UP!! That’s it.
1
2
3
BROKEN UP!
Foote: HOLY FUCKING SHIT GOD DAMN LEAPING COCK SUCKING ASS!!! ACE SKY JUST BROKE IT UP WITH A 630 SPLASH!!!
CU:LT chants riing out in the arena as all three people are laid out on the mat across the ring, Adi and Sky are holding their backs – Beaufort is holding her stomach kicking her legs. Ace Sky pushes Gold under the bottom rope with his foot.
Sting: Sky setting up for the win
Sky back up to the top rope he comes off with a perfect shooting star press landing across the body of Beaufort for the pin – Tom Garcia counts with his tiny arm – letting his jacked one rest.
1
2
3
Gold yanks the leg of Ace Sky pulling him off Beaufort from outside the ring.
Foote: Beaufort saved there by Gold! This is why I love triple threat action.
Gold and Ace battle on the outside until Beaufort in comes running and leaps through the middle rop with a suicide drive taking both compeitiors out. Ace is up the challenge Beaufort, but she hits him with a nasty split led roundhouse kick followed by a snap German suplex – Ace lands high on his shoulders on the thin padding outside the ring and lays lifeless and Beaufort tosses Gold under the ropes.
Stng: Kiss from a Rose outside on Ace – he has to be feeling that one. Beaufort has shifted the momentum of this one.
Gold tries to kick Beaufort but her leg is caught – Beaufort drags Gold down with a dragon screw and ties her opponent up in a heel hook. Gold looks for the ropes, looking to see if Ace will be able to break it up. She screeches in pain as Beaufort sinks the heel hook deeper causing her to tap.
Foote: No one around to help you Gold.
DING! DING! DING!
Anderson: The winner of this match by submission ‘THE FRENCH ROSE’ ADRIENNE BEAUFORT!
Beaufort lets the hold go. Katie slides into the ring hugging Beaufort as her music plays through the arena and the crowd cheers.
Sting: What a win for Beaufort – they don’t come easy here in CU:LT and she better do something to hang on to that momentum.
Anderson: The following contest is a standard triple threat match… introducing first "The French Rose" Adrienne Beaufort!
Sting: She wasn’t able to pick up a win in her debut at What Happens in Vegas but she did impress a lot of people. She is pretty good in the ring as a rookie.
The camera then pans to Ace Sky – the crowd pops for the grinder who has yet to pick up a win.
Anderson: Weighing in at 185lbs standing 5'8" from Houston Texas… ACE SKY!
Sting: I really want to see Sky win a match – he has been grinding it out month after month putting on great matches but it just hasn’t been able to pull it off.
Foote: Wins don’t come easy in CU:LT. And one of these to is guaranteed to get their first in this opener Stace.
Sting: Don’t call me that.
Adi Gold pops up on camera next – stretching – somewhat sexually bending over and then looking back at the crowd like it’s an accident – it garnders a cheap pop.
Foote: Ya know… I think I like Adi Gold.
Anderson: And now coming to the ring fighting out of Hollywood, California standing 5”6’ and weighing in at 125lbs of SOLID FUCKING GOLD!!!! ‘GOLDgeous’ ADI GOLD!!!!!!
Adi takes a bow and waves to the crowd.
DING! DING! DING!
All three tie up in a grapple – Beaufort is the first to act with a hip toss on Ace Sky who lands on his feet and leaps up with a hurricanrana on Gold – Gold flips through landing on her feet as Beaufort hits a dropkick on Ace forcing him off the ropes when he comes back Gold and Beaufort hit a double hip toss – both drop their elbows into the chest of Sky. Gold and Beaufort back to a vertical base and staring each other down.
Sting: These three are more evenly matched than I thought.
Beaufort gets the best of Gold driving her into the corner. Both women manage to find themselves on the top rope jockeying for position. A shot to the gut and Beaufort has Gold up in a suplex – Ace Sky leaps springing off the middle rope and twisting through the air to pull Beaufort off the rope with a powerbomb slingshotting Gold from the top to the canvas below with a thud. Ace looks around – eager for his first win he climbs to the top rope. He nails Beaufort with a 450 splash and makes the cover.
Foote: Sky with that flippy dippy hippy bullshit.
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KICKOUT!!!
Sting: Close, Sky could taste his first win there. You saw the worry on Katie Storms’ face out there thinking Beaufort was done quick.
After Ace is done pleading his case with referee Tom Garcia he spins around and is taken out with a roundhouse kick to the head from Gold. She follows up with a running spinning heel kick that sends Sky into the corner. Out of no where Beaufort tumbles across the ring with fucking cartwheel back handspring thing before burying a back elbow into the chest and upperneck of the cornered Ace Sky. Gold grabs Beaufort by the back of the head and hits her legs off the ropes springing the both backward and pulling Beaufort’s face down with a bulldog. Gold covers and Garcia stars the count.
Foote: Such faced paced action I can barely keep up with it. Gold with the pin now.
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BREAKUP!!!!
Sting: What a save from Sky!
Ace breaks it up coming over the top with a springboard leg drop across the back of Gold’s neck. Ace grabs her and hits a deadlift bridging German suplex.
Sting: Ace’s third eye glowing now as he sees the finish line ahead.
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BREAK!!!
Foote: Think that third eye might go black soon.
Beaufort comes down with a stomp in the guts of Ace breaking the pin up. Superkick from Beaufort is sidestepped by Sky and he grabs her arms, hooks them and pulls her upside down. Sky and Beaufort back to back her head toward the ground and Sky just spikes her down with a vertebreaker.
Foote: Jesus, he may have reduced her to just being a regular season ticket holder for Sin City Wrestling.
Sky nips up and Gold nails him with a few forearms. Gold hits a DDT, Sky springs back up though so she puts a little mustard on the son-of-a-bitch with an implant DDT. Gold keeps it going with a swinging neckbreaker. The crowd in The FTX arena is getting behind Gold and she feeds off the energy begging Ace Sky to get to his feet. She bolts at Ace with a running scissor kick.
Sting: GOLD RUSH! THAT HAS TO BE IT!
Garcia leaps into position for the count.
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ROPE BREAK!!!
Foote: Sky with a foot on this rope and the crowd cheering – they have no idea who they want to get behind tonight Stacy.
Beaufort grabs a handful of Gold’s hair and brings her up to her feet for a moment before throwing her back down with a judo flip. Beaufort wraps Gold up in an arm bar – Gold flips over and clips out of it getting a rear naked choke. Beaufort drops her chin blocking the choke, she spins around and starts laying strikes down. Gold gets her legs up and puts Beaufort in a triangle choke. Beaufort slips her head out, grabs the legs and twists Gold over to a Texas clover leaf.
Sting: What a back and forth – these two showing off some technical skills to kick off the show tonight. It looks like Gold might have to quit here Foote.
Foote: These three red hot babyfaces all want to get the win tonight and I know Gold has some fight left in her still.
Ace comes and leaps over Beaufort with a front flip and drags her head down with a cutter. The crowd busts out Ace Sky chants as he sits up smirking at the crowd. Sky claps his hands together and directs his attention to Gold and Beaufort rolls out of the ring.
Sting: Sky is putting on a hell of a match here Foote. This guy gets a win and he has to be fast tracked for a shot at some championship gold.
Sky hits a suplex on Gold and rolls through for another, he keeps the pain train a rollin’ and nails a fisherman on the last one hooking the leg for a pin.
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KICKOUT!!!
Foote: Gold is pretty fucking tough.
Beaufort is back in the ring and hits a backdrop on Ace. Sky gets up lets out a scream and swings wild – Beaufort ducks and delivers a snap German suplex fresh out of the oven. Sky back up, goes for a gut kick, his leg is caught and Beaufort hits a dragon screw into a heel hook – but Sky manages to float through and cartwheels to his feet. Beaufort catches his with a shining wizard. She scrambles to pin Sky but he falls right out of the ring.
Sting: THORN’S EDGE!!!! But Sky rolls out of the ring.
The crowd is groaning in unison for Beaufort as she turns back around to see Gold standing in the ring jawing for a fight. Beaufort clips Gold with a lariat. Gold rolls back to her feet and eats a super kick. Beaufort pulls Gold to her feet – Gold drags her down with a jaw breaker.
Foote: A little more ring awareness from Beaufort and she could have had this one in the bag. I’m sure that’s a lesson she won’t forget.
Gold with a springboard dropkick to Beaufort. Adi follows it up with a fameasser. Gold up on the second rope now – she leaps off and hits a leaping bulldog on Beaufort. Katie Storms slams the mat with her first trying to rally Beaufort back into it.
Sting: THE AD-UP!! That’s it.
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BROKEN UP!
Foote: HOLY FUCKING SHIT GOD DAMN LEAPING COCK SUCKING ASS!!! ACE SKY JUST BROKE IT UP WITH A 630 SPLASH!!!
CU:LT chants riing out in the arena as all three people are laid out on the mat across the ring, Adi and Sky are holding their backs – Beaufort is holding her stomach kicking her legs. Ace Sky pushes Gold under the bottom rope with his foot.
Sting: Sky setting up for the win
Sky back up to the top rope he comes off with a perfect shooting star press landing across the body of Beaufort for the pin – Tom Garcia counts with his tiny arm – letting his jacked one rest.
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Gold yanks the leg of Ace Sky pulling him off Beaufort from outside the ring.
Foote: Beaufort saved there by Gold! This is why I love triple threat action.
Gold and Ace battle on the outside until Beaufort in comes running and leaps through the middle rop with a suicide drive taking both compeitiors out. Ace is up the challenge Beaufort, but she hits him with a nasty split led roundhouse kick followed by a snap German suplex – Ace lands high on his shoulders on the thin padding outside the ring and lays lifeless and Beaufort tosses Gold under the ropes.
Stng: Kiss from a Rose outside on Ace – he has to be feeling that one. Beaufort has shifted the momentum of this one.
Gold tries to kick Beaufort but her leg is caught – Beaufort drags Gold down with a dragon screw and ties her opponent up in a heel hook. Gold looks for the ropes, looking to see if Ace will be able to break it up. She screeches in pain as Beaufort sinks the heel hook deeper causing her to tap.
Foote: No one around to help you Gold.
DING! DING! DING!
Anderson: The winner of this match by submission ‘THE FRENCH ROSE’ ADRIENNE BEAUFORT!
Beaufort lets the hold go. Katie slides into the ring hugging Beaufort as her music plays through the arena and the crowd cheers.
Sting: What a win for Beaufort – they don’t come easy here in CU:LT and she better do something to hang on to that momentum.
All three members of the Black Family are in the ring looking across the ring at their mismatch of opponents Riley MacKenna, Javier Cortes and Serena Riot. In each corner of the ring there are two panes of glass and two barbed wire boards leaning up. There are thumbtacks already spread out on the mat along each edge of the ring. Garbage cans outside the ring hold several random items.
Anderson: The following contest is a trios deathmatch. Introducing first the trio of Vhodka, Vincent and Mickey Black!
The camera pans over to introduce Riley, Riot and Cortes… but before Anderson can get any words out he is sandwiched between the two teams rushing to meet each other in the center of the ring just striking away like two colliding walls of death. Anderseon manages to crawl out of the scuffle and out of the ring.
Foote: These teams wasting no time, they just want to start some blood shed.
DING! DING! DING!
Riot breaks off with Vhodka having never got a chance to battle her before and she gets the best of her quickly. Riot drops Vhodka with a big boot – her shoulder taking some tacks as she pings off the mat. Riot picks her up and drops her down with a pile driver now – that’s til Mickey lays a steel chair over her shoulders – Riot absorbs the impact though and puts the youngest member of the Black trio on her shoulders. Riot runs with a Death Valley driver putting Mickey head first through the glass window pane in the corner knocking her out cold.
Sting: Wow, Mickey might be out of this one early.
Foote: Poor kid came all this way to take a fuckin’ bump like that.
Meanwhile Vin is battling it out with Cortes. Vin hits some nasty knees to the body working Cortes barkward and then grabs him by the back of the head and pushing his face into one of the barbed wire boards. Vin smashes his face off it over and over – then holds Cortes’ bloody face into the wire shaking it causing gashes and scratches.
Foote: Vin just mangling this mother fucker right here.
Riley comes up and lays some strikes into Vin. There is a table on the outside and Vin just kicks the dumb fucker in the gut and hoists him up into a razors edge tossing him over the top rope through the table on the outside.
Sting: The crowd is just loving the carnage in this one.
Vhodka is battling back against Riot on the other side of the ring til Riot stops her in her tracks with a main course of a headbutt severed with a side of super kick. Riot now with a belly to belly suplex sending Vhodka though the other barbedwire board. Vhodka crawls out of the mess of wire and as she does Riot lets out a scream. Riot comes down with a curb stomp driving Vhodka face down into a pile of tacks. Riot flips her over for the pin.
Foote: Eh, it’s not like Vhodka is scared of a few piercings.
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BREAK UP!
Sting: Riot almost stole one against someone she highly respects in the sport.
Vincent pulls Riot off his wife and the pair battle it out. He swings Riot ot the ropes and takes her out with a kitchen sink. He drops a fist down onto Riot and picks up a steel chair. Riot leaps and dropkicks it into Vin’s face. Riot hits a bodyslam on Vin thena drop knee right to the face.
Foote: I didn’t think I would see this both of these two have their partners laid out and it’s just down to them.
Riot positions the chair perfect on the ground then drives Vinny down with a piledriver right on top of it. She makes the cover.
Sting: Riot doing it all alone here. She hit Psychosis on both Vin and Vhodka.
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BREAK UP!
Foote: Oh god Mickey breaking it up by jabbing a piece of broken glass into the forehead of Riot.
Riot battles the broken glass out of Mickey’s hand – then knocks her block off with a rolling elbow. Mickey is against the ropes and Riot comes with a crossbody high – flipping both women out of the ring to the outside.
Sting: This one is just a bloody brawl – there is no rhyme or fucking reason to this.
A bloody Cortes actually thinks it’s smart to pick up the last pane of glass – he runs at Vin – but Vin charges too and blasts haymaker right through the glass blasting it into the face of Cortes. Vin starts pounding his bloody knuckles into the crimson face of Cortes. Vin gets Crotes back up and hits him with a belly to belly tombstone suplex driving the top of his opponents head into some scattered tacks in the ring.
Foote: TWISM!
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Riot just a split second late to break it up.
Sting: So close but just a little too late from Riot. But what a showing from her she is putting in some classic performances in CU:LT.
DING! DING! DING!
Anderson: The winners of this match Vincent, Vhodka and Mickey Black!
Vin, Vhodka and Mickey all meet in the center of the ring hugging and raising each others hands as Riot shakes her head looking at her partners who didn’t put much in. Vhodka grabs Riot by the shoulder spinning her around and the two shake hands as a sign of respect as the scene fades into a commercial for the next CU:LT show.
Sting: What a great sign of respect.
Foote: Fuck that mushy shit.
Anderson: The following contest is a trios deathmatch. Introducing first the trio of Vhodka, Vincent and Mickey Black!
The camera pans over to introduce Riley, Riot and Cortes… but before Anderson can get any words out he is sandwiched between the two teams rushing to meet each other in the center of the ring just striking away like two colliding walls of death. Anderseon manages to crawl out of the scuffle and out of the ring.
Foote: These teams wasting no time, they just want to start some blood shed.
DING! DING! DING!
Riot breaks off with Vhodka having never got a chance to battle her before and she gets the best of her quickly. Riot drops Vhodka with a big boot – her shoulder taking some tacks as she pings off the mat. Riot picks her up and drops her down with a pile driver now – that’s til Mickey lays a steel chair over her shoulders – Riot absorbs the impact though and puts the youngest member of the Black trio on her shoulders. Riot runs with a Death Valley driver putting Mickey head first through the glass window pane in the corner knocking her out cold.
Sting: Wow, Mickey might be out of this one early.
Foote: Poor kid came all this way to take a fuckin’ bump like that.
Meanwhile Vin is battling it out with Cortes. Vin hits some nasty knees to the body working Cortes barkward and then grabs him by the back of the head and pushing his face into one of the barbed wire boards. Vin smashes his face off it over and over – then holds Cortes’ bloody face into the wire shaking it causing gashes and scratches.
Foote: Vin just mangling this mother fucker right here.
Riley comes up and lays some strikes into Vin. There is a table on the outside and Vin just kicks the dumb fucker in the gut and hoists him up into a razors edge tossing him over the top rope through the table on the outside.
Sting: The crowd is just loving the carnage in this one.
Vhodka is battling back against Riot on the other side of the ring til Riot stops her in her tracks with a main course of a headbutt severed with a side of super kick. Riot now with a belly to belly suplex sending Vhodka though the other barbedwire board. Vhodka crawls out of the mess of wire and as she does Riot lets out a scream. Riot comes down with a curb stomp driving Vhodka face down into a pile of tacks. Riot flips her over for the pin.
Foote: Eh, it’s not like Vhodka is scared of a few piercings.
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BREAK UP!
Sting: Riot almost stole one against someone she highly respects in the sport.
Vincent pulls Riot off his wife and the pair battle it out. He swings Riot ot the ropes and takes her out with a kitchen sink. He drops a fist down onto Riot and picks up a steel chair. Riot leaps and dropkicks it into Vin’s face. Riot hits a bodyslam on Vin thena drop knee right to the face.
Foote: I didn’t think I would see this both of these two have their partners laid out and it’s just down to them.
Riot positions the chair perfect on the ground then drives Vinny down with a piledriver right on top of it. She makes the cover.
Sting: Riot doing it all alone here. She hit Psychosis on both Vin and Vhodka.
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BREAK UP!
Foote: Oh god Mickey breaking it up by jabbing a piece of broken glass into the forehead of Riot.
Riot battles the broken glass out of Mickey’s hand – then knocks her block off with a rolling elbow. Mickey is against the ropes and Riot comes with a crossbody high – flipping both women out of the ring to the outside.
Sting: This one is just a bloody brawl – there is no rhyme or fucking reason to this.
A bloody Cortes actually thinks it’s smart to pick up the last pane of glass – he runs at Vin – but Vin charges too and blasts haymaker right through the glass blasting it into the face of Cortes. Vin starts pounding his bloody knuckles into the crimson face of Cortes. Vin gets Crotes back up and hits him with a belly to belly tombstone suplex driving the top of his opponents head into some scattered tacks in the ring.
Foote: TWISM!
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Riot just a split second late to break it up.
Sting: So close but just a little too late from Riot. But what a showing from her she is putting in some classic performances in CU:LT.
DING! DING! DING!
Anderson: The winners of this match Vincent, Vhodka and Mickey Black!
Vin, Vhodka and Mickey all meet in the center of the ring hugging and raising each others hands as Riot shakes her head looking at her partners who didn’t put much in. Vhodka grabs Riot by the shoulder spinning her around and the two shake hands as a sign of respect as the scene fades into a commercial for the next CU:LT show.
Sting: What a great sign of respect.
Foote: Fuck that mushy shit.
Karl Childers appears on the big screen – CU:LT’s lead interviewer and wrestling analyst. Over the shoulder he has the brand new CU:LT FIGHT Championship. Karl smiles as The FTX arena chants FIGHT! In honor of the recently closed FIGHT!NYC.
Karl: Hello, in two short months we will be having a one night tournament to crown the first ever FIGHT Champion. Now, how this title will work is the person holding it gets a chance to up their stock in the company every time they defend the title.
Karl drags his finger across the lettering of the word “Fight”.
Karl: Each time the champion defends this title a letter will highlight and once the word FIGHT is spelled out in full they are done with their title run and can now challenge for any championship in this company.
Karl slaps the new title.
Karl: Now, this might be premature… but staff figured we should announce how this will work. In August, live in New York at Summer of Slam – four people will face off in a one night mini-tournament to crown the first champion. These four, not even the fans will know who they will be matched up against until the bell sounds in New York – meaning all four will have to be prepared for any combo of matches.
Karl holds out the FIGHT Championship to the camera as a graphic appears on screen.
Karl: Hello, in two short months we will be having a one night tournament to crown the first ever FIGHT Champion. Now, how this title will work is the person holding it gets a chance to up their stock in the company every time they defend the title.
Karl drags his finger across the lettering of the word “Fight”.
Karl: Each time the champion defends this title a letter will highlight and once the word FIGHT is spelled out in full they are done with their title run and can now challenge for any championship in this company.
Karl slaps the new title.
Karl: Now, this might be premature… but staff figured we should announce how this will work. In August, live in New York at Summer of Slam – four people will face off in a one night mini-tournament to crown the first champion. These four, not even the fans will know who they will be matched up against until the bell sounds in New York – meaning all four will have to be prepared for any combo of matches.
Karl holds out the FIGHT Championship to the camera as a graphic appears on screen.
Participates in the one night tournament to be announced at Trash Wrestling for Garbage Humans.
“The Man Who Made a Monster” by Dance with the Dead begins to play over the P.A., its driving beat permeating through the arena. Gradually, Donnie Hopkins saunters out to the dismay of everyone in attendance – many chanting Jane Doe’s name to get under the former champion's skin.
Anderson: Now coming to the ring … the challenger.. standing 6’2” weighing in at 248lbs from Brooklyn, New York…The Journeyman DONNIE HOPKINS!
Sting: He was the first New World Champion and Donnie is hellbent on getting back to that. Although he lost at What Happens In Vegas he literally tried to drown Jane Doe in lake Vegas to win the war.
Foote: I swear Donnie will find a way to kill that creature one way or another.
Donnie looks out into the crowd with a snide snarl before he walks raptly to the ring. He wipes his boots on the outside apron before entering and quickly takes off his jacket. He heads to his corner and impatiently waits for the match to start.
Anderson: And his opponent…
The lights in the arena go out. An 8 bit door appears on the entrance screen. An ax blasts through the door as an 8 bit version of Jonny C sticks his head through the opening yelling Here's Jonny.
Foote: This is a huge opportunity for Jonny C tonight. If he knocks off the first and former World Champion he will find himself right there in the main event scene.
The lights in the arena turn back on and start to flash purple and orange. Raise Hell by (Hed) PE hits the pa system as Jonny C bursts through the curtain.
Anderson: Weighing in at 265lbs, standing 6’4 from New Haven, Connecticut… JONNY FN’ C!
Jonny stands at the top of the ramp looking around the arena than waves off the fans and blows a kiss to the camera. He walks down the ramp to boos by the fans. He laughs at them and winks at them. He walks up the ring steps onto the apron. He wipes his feet and steps under the top rope. He immediately backs himself into the turnbuckles cracking his knuckles waiting for the bell to ring.
Sting: Donnie vs Jonny and the crowd is ready for it here in Miami.
DING! DING! DING!
Foote: Again, huge opportunity for Jonny C here tonight as he has a chance to beat the former New World Champion Donnie Hopkins. If he does that it could really jumble up the World Championship picture considering Lissie Hope’s shot is on hold – and if Jaka walks way with the belt tonight it’ll just be a whole shit show for us all.
Donnie and Jonny eye one another giving each other some distance and respect. They tie up and it’s Hopkins who gets things rolling with a headlock takeover. Jonny gets to his feet breaking free – they lock up and it’s Jonny’s turn to show his headlock takeover skills as he delivers one and pulls tight on the hold while he has Hopkins on the ground. That doesn’t last long though as both men get back up.
Sting: Evenly matched right out of the gate here.
Jonny pushes Hopkins into the ropes, Huffman starts the count and gets in between then to break it up, but Jonny face washes Hopkins as he is pushed back. That’s okay Dirt Donnie can play that game. He yanks Jonny’s arm with an Irish whip but instead of sending him to the ropes he grabs a handful of Jonny’s luscious locks and pulls him back snapping him over with another headlock takedown – putting pressure on the headlock smirking as some of the crow boo the former champs tactics.
Foote: That is why Donnie was a champion and will be again – he doesn’t care what the fans think here – he will do whatever it takes to get that three count.
The fan’s don’t know who to cheer for as Jonny reaches up and jabs a thumb into the eye of Hopkins to break the hold. As both men tie up Hopkins get the advantage once more tossing Jonny to the corner, but he reverses sending Donnie instead. Jonny runs across the ring and hits a stinger splash. Donnie staggers out of the corner and Jonny is up top, he comes off with a basic cross body for the pin.
Sting: Beautiful move there by Jonny.
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KICKOUT!!!!
Foote: Not enough to take out ol’ Dangerous Donnie.
Hopkins and Jonny are chest to chest now. They start lighting eachother up chop after chp taking a shot each – old school stye – and the crowd is loving it. Jonny hits Hopkins with a hard chop – by this time Donnie’s chest is nearly purple. Hopkins responds with a chest blistering chop of his own. Both of them get face to face and Hopkins hits a headbutt forcing Jonny back. Jonny swings – Hopkins ducks and hits an atomic drop, then a back drop – when Jonny springs up off the mat and comes at Hopkins he’s tossed with a belly to belly suplex.
Foote: Donnie is old school and can shift the momentum in a second with one big move and we just saw that right there.
Hopkins puts his index and middle finger into the nostrils of Jonny to pull him up to his feet. Donnie hits him with three stiff jabs, a kick to the gut followed by a snap DDT. Hopkins drops a knee across Jonny’s forehead. Hopkins drags his forearm across the forehead now just working over Jonny. Hopkins grabs the back of Jonny’s head – handful of hair included – Hopkins drags Jonny’s head up not his fist as he rains punches down. Donnie pulls his opponent up by his hair and nails a standing thrust spinebuster.
Foote: That is the shit I like to see right there… Grown Man’s Buster from Donnie Hopkins.
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KICKOUT!!!
Foote: Come on, don’t lose focus that’s what happened with Jane and if you ask me Jonny is just as good.
Hopkins punches the mat in anger. He grabs Jonny and pulls him up once more and nails a spinning lariat that turns Jonny inside out – he backflips through the air and onto his chest out cold.
Foote: Good Ol’ Fashioned Lariat!!!
Donnie covers hooking the leg and senior referee JJ Huffman starts the count.
Sting: Going for the win…
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KICKOUT!!!
Foote: What a tough son of a bitch Jonny FUCKIN’ C is.
Jonny grabs at the knees of Hopkins pulling himself up – then bang – a shot to the ol’ bean bag.
Sting: Jonny nails a shameless low blow on the former champion, but the man is willing to do anything to even the score.
Foote: That’s alright, he has to play on Donnie’s level and in his book anything goes.
Jonny hits a forearm, knees to the body, an atomic elbow to the top of Hopkins’ skull. Johnny swings Hopkins to the rope and as he comes off he hoists him up and nails a pop-up powerbomb. Jonny falls back to the corner turnbuckle catching his breath for a moment. He smirks and pulls himself up using the ropes. Jonny with a Russian leg sweep on Hopkins.
Sting: Jonny playing all the hits here tonight.
Jonny executes an excellent dragon suplex on Hopkins. Jonny locks in a Boston crab – Hopkins reaches for the ropes and almost gets there but is hauled to the center of the ring. Jonny trying to work the lower back puts a harsh angle on the old former champion’s spine. Hopkins is pouring sweat and screaming out in pain – somehow he starts crawling to the ropes using his hands – pulling Jonny along with him. Donnie reaches out and snatches the rope forcing Jonny to break the hold.
Foote: That’s the toughness of the former champion. He knows he can’t lose to Jonny if he wants to get back into the title picture.
Jonny is arguing with JJ Huffman when Hopkins clubs him across the back. Both men are exchanging blows once again. Hopkins hits a forearm – then an elbow – Jonny runs to the ropes and comes off catching Hopkins with a closeline from hell causing Hopkins to do half a backflip and almost land on his neck. Jonny covers.
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KICKOUT!
Sting: Close one!
Jonny now puts Hopkins on his shoulders in a torture rack, he is bending the former champion almost breaking him in half – Hopkins yells out but tells Huffman to go fuck himself when asks if he wants to quit. Jonny swings Hopkins over for a go to hell – Hopkins lands on his feet – the ol’ vet rakes the eyes of Jonny. Hopkins kicks Jonny in the gut and nails the Gotch style piledriver.
Foote: He hits it… END OF THE ROAD for Jonny C!
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DING! DING! DING!
Anderson: The winner of this march DONNIE HOPKINS!!!
JJ Huffman raises Donnie’s arm – but he yanks it back threatening to back hand the ref as he spits on the mat and walks out of the ring to the back. Jonny C comes to, shaking his head trying to get the cobwebs loose.
Foote: No fucking around from Donnie tonight. Miami is the former murder capital of America and it might go back to those levels depending on how long an angry Donnie Hopkins sticks around the state.
Anderson: Now coming to the ring … the challenger.. standing 6’2” weighing in at 248lbs from Brooklyn, New York…The Journeyman DONNIE HOPKINS!
Sting: He was the first New World Champion and Donnie is hellbent on getting back to that. Although he lost at What Happens In Vegas he literally tried to drown Jane Doe in lake Vegas to win the war.
Foote: I swear Donnie will find a way to kill that creature one way or another.
Donnie looks out into the crowd with a snide snarl before he walks raptly to the ring. He wipes his boots on the outside apron before entering and quickly takes off his jacket. He heads to his corner and impatiently waits for the match to start.
Anderson: And his opponent…
The lights in the arena go out. An 8 bit door appears on the entrance screen. An ax blasts through the door as an 8 bit version of Jonny C sticks his head through the opening yelling Here's Jonny.
Foote: This is a huge opportunity for Jonny C tonight. If he knocks off the first and former World Champion he will find himself right there in the main event scene.
The lights in the arena turn back on and start to flash purple and orange. Raise Hell by (Hed) PE hits the pa system as Jonny C bursts through the curtain.
Anderson: Weighing in at 265lbs, standing 6’4 from New Haven, Connecticut… JONNY FN’ C!
Jonny stands at the top of the ramp looking around the arena than waves off the fans and blows a kiss to the camera. He walks down the ramp to boos by the fans. He laughs at them and winks at them. He walks up the ring steps onto the apron. He wipes his feet and steps under the top rope. He immediately backs himself into the turnbuckles cracking his knuckles waiting for the bell to ring.
Sting: Donnie vs Jonny and the crowd is ready for it here in Miami.
DING! DING! DING!
Foote: Again, huge opportunity for Jonny C here tonight as he has a chance to beat the former New World Champion Donnie Hopkins. If he does that it could really jumble up the World Championship picture considering Lissie Hope’s shot is on hold – and if Jaka walks way with the belt tonight it’ll just be a whole shit show for us all.
Donnie and Jonny eye one another giving each other some distance and respect. They tie up and it’s Hopkins who gets things rolling with a headlock takeover. Jonny gets to his feet breaking free – they lock up and it’s Jonny’s turn to show his headlock takeover skills as he delivers one and pulls tight on the hold while he has Hopkins on the ground. That doesn’t last long though as both men get back up.
Sting: Evenly matched right out of the gate here.
Jonny pushes Hopkins into the ropes, Huffman starts the count and gets in between then to break it up, but Jonny face washes Hopkins as he is pushed back. That’s okay Dirt Donnie can play that game. He yanks Jonny’s arm with an Irish whip but instead of sending him to the ropes he grabs a handful of Jonny’s luscious locks and pulls him back snapping him over with another headlock takedown – putting pressure on the headlock smirking as some of the crow boo the former champs tactics.
Foote: That is why Donnie was a champion and will be again – he doesn’t care what the fans think here – he will do whatever it takes to get that three count.
The fan’s don’t know who to cheer for as Jonny reaches up and jabs a thumb into the eye of Hopkins to break the hold. As both men tie up Hopkins get the advantage once more tossing Jonny to the corner, but he reverses sending Donnie instead. Jonny runs across the ring and hits a stinger splash. Donnie staggers out of the corner and Jonny is up top, he comes off with a basic cross body for the pin.
Sting: Beautiful move there by Jonny.
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KICKOUT!!!!
Foote: Not enough to take out ol’ Dangerous Donnie.
Hopkins and Jonny are chest to chest now. They start lighting eachother up chop after chp taking a shot each – old school stye – and the crowd is loving it. Jonny hits Hopkins with a hard chop – by this time Donnie’s chest is nearly purple. Hopkins responds with a chest blistering chop of his own. Both of them get face to face and Hopkins hits a headbutt forcing Jonny back. Jonny swings – Hopkins ducks and hits an atomic drop, then a back drop – when Jonny springs up off the mat and comes at Hopkins he’s tossed with a belly to belly suplex.
Foote: Donnie is old school and can shift the momentum in a second with one big move and we just saw that right there.
Hopkins puts his index and middle finger into the nostrils of Jonny to pull him up to his feet. Donnie hits him with three stiff jabs, a kick to the gut followed by a snap DDT. Hopkins drops a knee across Jonny’s forehead. Hopkins drags his forearm across the forehead now just working over Jonny. Hopkins grabs the back of Jonny’s head – handful of hair included – Hopkins drags Jonny’s head up not his fist as he rains punches down. Donnie pulls his opponent up by his hair and nails a standing thrust spinebuster.
Foote: That is the shit I like to see right there… Grown Man’s Buster from Donnie Hopkins.
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KICKOUT!!!
Foote: Come on, don’t lose focus that’s what happened with Jane and if you ask me Jonny is just as good.
Hopkins punches the mat in anger. He grabs Jonny and pulls him up once more and nails a spinning lariat that turns Jonny inside out – he backflips through the air and onto his chest out cold.
Foote: Good Ol’ Fashioned Lariat!!!
Donnie covers hooking the leg and senior referee JJ Huffman starts the count.
Sting: Going for the win…
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KICKOUT!!!
Foote: What a tough son of a bitch Jonny FUCKIN’ C is.
Jonny grabs at the knees of Hopkins pulling himself up – then bang – a shot to the ol’ bean bag.
Sting: Jonny nails a shameless low blow on the former champion, but the man is willing to do anything to even the score.
Foote: That’s alright, he has to play on Donnie’s level and in his book anything goes.
Jonny hits a forearm, knees to the body, an atomic elbow to the top of Hopkins’ skull. Johnny swings Hopkins to the rope and as he comes off he hoists him up and nails a pop-up powerbomb. Jonny falls back to the corner turnbuckle catching his breath for a moment. He smirks and pulls himself up using the ropes. Jonny with a Russian leg sweep on Hopkins.
Sting: Jonny playing all the hits here tonight.
Jonny executes an excellent dragon suplex on Hopkins. Jonny locks in a Boston crab – Hopkins reaches for the ropes and almost gets there but is hauled to the center of the ring. Jonny trying to work the lower back puts a harsh angle on the old former champion’s spine. Hopkins is pouring sweat and screaming out in pain – somehow he starts crawling to the ropes using his hands – pulling Jonny along with him. Donnie reaches out and snatches the rope forcing Jonny to break the hold.
Foote: That’s the toughness of the former champion. He knows he can’t lose to Jonny if he wants to get back into the title picture.
Jonny is arguing with JJ Huffman when Hopkins clubs him across the back. Both men are exchanging blows once again. Hopkins hits a forearm – then an elbow – Jonny runs to the ropes and comes off catching Hopkins with a closeline from hell causing Hopkins to do half a backflip and almost land on his neck. Jonny covers.
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KICKOUT!
Sting: Close one!
Jonny now puts Hopkins on his shoulders in a torture rack, he is bending the former champion almost breaking him in half – Hopkins yells out but tells Huffman to go fuck himself when asks if he wants to quit. Jonny swings Hopkins over for a go to hell – Hopkins lands on his feet – the ol’ vet rakes the eyes of Jonny. Hopkins kicks Jonny in the gut and nails the Gotch style piledriver.
Foote: He hits it… END OF THE ROAD for Jonny C!
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DING! DING! DING!
Anderson: The winner of this march DONNIE HOPKINS!!!
JJ Huffman raises Donnie’s arm – but he yanks it back threatening to back hand the ref as he spits on the mat and walks out of the ring to the back. Jonny C comes to, shaking his head trying to get the cobwebs loose.
Foote: No fucking around from Donnie tonight. Miami is the former murder capital of America and it might go back to those levels depending on how long an angry Donnie Hopkins sticks around the state.
Staple Gun Match
You get a staple gun, you get a staple gun, you get a staple gun -- use them to hurt your opponents... simple as that. The winner of this one will become number one contender for the SNUFF Championship.
Antonio vs Ferolino vs Holden Ross vs Jason Cross
You get a staple gun, you get a staple gun, you get a staple gun -- use them to hurt your opponents... simple as that. The winner of this one will become number one contender for the SNUFF Championship.
Antonio vs Ferolino vs Holden Ross vs Jason Cross
Jason Cross and Antonio are already in the ring waiting for their opponents.
Foote: This one is bound to get messy.
“Typhoons” by Royal Blood hit and Jolyne Ferolino appears on the stage. She scans the ground then stomps toward the ring.
Anderson: And introducing… from Atlanta, Georgia, weighing in at 130lbs standing 5’5” “Buck Nasty” JOLYNE FEROLINO!!!!
Ferolino slides under the bottom ropes and eyes up Cross and Antonio mouthing off a big before the match starts.
Foote: This is the woman who slayed Lady Fartmouth – let us not forget that and appreciate her service to this business and this country.
Air raid sirens begin their cries of warning as the stage is plunged into darkness. As they reach their crescendo, and begin their fall, a single spotlight cuts through the dark, illuminating Holden who is standing statuesque, just this side of the threshold of the entrance curtain.
Sting: Ross has been a hair away of winning here in CU:LT but just hasn’t been able to transition that hard work and grit into a win.
Foote: I don’t think Ross gives a fuck as long as he gets to hurt someone and that’s something he’s successfully done every time he has stepped in the square circle.
Just like their signal of warning in the real World, in CU:LT they are a warning that the “Bastard” is making his way to the ring. When the spotlight first shines on him, he has his head down, chin on his chest and his eyes closed. The sirens begin winding up their pitch for the second round of screaming. He lifts his head and his face is void of emotion, his eyes black pools of nothing, similar to a great white’s eyes.
Anderson: Making his way to the ring; standing at six feet, five inches tall and weighing in at just over three hundred pounds! He hails from San Luis Obispo! He is “The Bastard!” Hoooooldennnnnnnn RRRRRRRRRRoosssssssss!
Ross walks down to the ring, steps between the ropes and takes one of the corners as staple guns are given to each of the competitors.
Sting: The staple guns have been locked and loaded.
DING! DING! DING!
All four competitors are armed with their staple guns. Ross runs scooping Antonio up on his shoulder and drives him into the corner – Ross shoots two staples into the forehead of Antonio and rivers of blood flow quickly.
Foote: The power of Ross – just nothing Antonio can do.
Ferolino and Cross square off – Ferolino with a snap suplex on Cross. Ferolino with a standing diving headbutt. She picks up a staple gun and shoots four or five staples into the shoulder of Cross who screeches in pain.
Sting: Oh, no worse than a tummy tuck.
Ross with a gourdbuster on Antonio causing a dark crimson mask to form on his opponents face. Ross picks Antonio up and nails Antonio with a polish hammer knocking him out cold. Ross wakes him up by putting the staple gun right against the side of Antonio’s cheek firing twice.
Foote: These high powered construction staple guns are just ripping through the flesh of these competitors.
Ferolino is still working over Cross – this time she just starts bashing the staple gun into the head of Cross over and over and over busting him wide open. She takes to the top rope and comes down on Cross with a moonsault. She goes back up top leaps over Ross with a corkscrew crossbody and comes across a bloody Antonio for the pin.
Sting: Ferolino has just decided to use the actual gun as a weapon instead of firing staples.
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ROSS YANKS FEROLINO OFF!
Foote: Ross wants this one.
Ferolino and Ross are going at it now. Ross hits her with a full nelson slam. He then grabs her legs and slingshots Buck Nasty toward the corner – somehow she lands on the top turnbuckle and comes back at Ross with a crossbody – he catches her out of hid air and flips her into a nasty pumphandle driver. Cross has blood running down his shoulder and face from the assault Ferolino went on. He closelines Ross – but it has little effect – suddenly Ross picks Cross up and powerbombs him into the turnbuckle.
Foote: This guy has been fucking killing people in CU:LT and putting on classics but still hasn’t picked up a win. This could be the night for Ross with the damage he is dishing out.
Ferolino biffs a staple gun across the ring and it catches Ross right between the eyes – she follows up closelining the big man over the ropes. Antonio grabs Ferolino by the shoulder spinning her around. Ferolino greets him with a Yakuza kick. Buck Nasty now comes off the top with a coffin drop onto Antonio. She snatches up andother stapler and adds some to his forehead.
Sting: Ferolino just tossing the staple gun and going on a tear.
Ross spins Ferolino around hitting her with a nasty spine buster. Cross creeps up behind Ross and shoots a staple into each shoulder – it does little but get the big man’s attention. Ross drops Cross with a Cactus closeline. He grabs Cross by the back of the head pulling him back to his feet. Ross nails a delayed hangman’s neckbreaker.
Foote: Fuck em up Ross!
Cross grabs a stapler and shoots one into the foot of Ross who just gets angry and lifts him up and slams him down viciously with a deadlift powerbomb. Ross throws Cross to the corner. Cross falls into a seated position and Ross sandwiches him with a corner cannonball. Ross hauls him out by the ankle and makes the cover.
Sting: The crowd is not behind Ross listen to those jeers – but he could care less.
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FEROLINO BREAKS IT UP!
Sting: Buck Nasty saves it.
Ross gets up getting into Ferolino’s face and she pistol whips him twice with a staple gun. Ross rushes Ferolino and hits her with a huge shoulder block knocking Ferolino clear across the ring. She rolls to the outside.
Foote: If wrestling doesn’t work out football will.
Ross now takes Antonio and up on his shoulders and hits a running Death Valley driver.
Foote: Blazed! And now Ross is setting him up.
Antonio pushes the blood out of his face and gets to his feet only to be greeted with a gonzo bomb.
Sting: H-BOMB from Ross.
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ROPE BREAK!
Foote: Ferolino saves him!
Ferolino puts Antonio’s foot on the rope saving her shot at the SNUFF Championship. She slides in the ring dual wielding staple guns, but Ross picks her up by the throat. Buck Nasty reaches out with the staple guns and puts them on either side of Ross’ temple and pulls the triggers turning the bastard into Frankenstien’s monster. He lets Ferolino down and she dropkicks him, forcing him to fall out of the ring.
Sting: Jesus what a shot with those staples to either side of Ross’ head.
Ferolino hits Cross with a spear. She then grabs his tongue while he is down and pushes the staple gun down hard against it stapling his tongue to the fucking canvas. The crowd groans as Ferolino heads to the top rope. She comes off with a shooting star press along the back of Cross.
Sting: BANG!
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KICKOUT!
Sing: I can't believe Cross just kicked out.
Ross out of no where picks up Ferolino and tosses her with a belly to belly. He picks her up in a gorilla press and tosses her right at Antonio. She lands on in him with a crossbody taking both out of the ring. Ross turns his attention to Cross and and nails a H-Bomb.
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DING! DING! DING!
Anderson: The winner of this match and Number One Contender for the SNUFF Championship HOLDEN ROSS!!!
Referee Tom Garcia raises Holden Ross's arm as his music plays through The FTX arena. Ross slides out of the ring and walks to the back leaving the destruction behind him.
Sting: There we have it Holden Ross picks up his first win and it's a major one. Now he will face off against either Justin York or JD Driftwood at Trash Wrestling for Garbage Humans at the end of July.
Foote: This one is bound to get messy.
“Typhoons” by Royal Blood hit and Jolyne Ferolino appears on the stage. She scans the ground then stomps toward the ring.
Anderson: And introducing… from Atlanta, Georgia, weighing in at 130lbs standing 5’5” “Buck Nasty” JOLYNE FEROLINO!!!!
Ferolino slides under the bottom ropes and eyes up Cross and Antonio mouthing off a big before the match starts.
Foote: This is the woman who slayed Lady Fartmouth – let us not forget that and appreciate her service to this business and this country.
Air raid sirens begin their cries of warning as the stage is plunged into darkness. As they reach their crescendo, and begin their fall, a single spotlight cuts through the dark, illuminating Holden who is standing statuesque, just this side of the threshold of the entrance curtain.
Sting: Ross has been a hair away of winning here in CU:LT but just hasn’t been able to transition that hard work and grit into a win.
Foote: I don’t think Ross gives a fuck as long as he gets to hurt someone and that’s something he’s successfully done every time he has stepped in the square circle.
Just like their signal of warning in the real World, in CU:LT they are a warning that the “Bastard” is making his way to the ring. When the spotlight first shines on him, he has his head down, chin on his chest and his eyes closed. The sirens begin winding up their pitch for the second round of screaming. He lifts his head and his face is void of emotion, his eyes black pools of nothing, similar to a great white’s eyes.
Anderson: Making his way to the ring; standing at six feet, five inches tall and weighing in at just over three hundred pounds! He hails from San Luis Obispo! He is “The Bastard!” Hoooooldennnnnnnn RRRRRRRRRRoosssssssss!
Ross walks down to the ring, steps between the ropes and takes one of the corners as staple guns are given to each of the competitors.
Sting: The staple guns have been locked and loaded.
DING! DING! DING!
All four competitors are armed with their staple guns. Ross runs scooping Antonio up on his shoulder and drives him into the corner – Ross shoots two staples into the forehead of Antonio and rivers of blood flow quickly.
Foote: The power of Ross – just nothing Antonio can do.
Ferolino and Cross square off – Ferolino with a snap suplex on Cross. Ferolino with a standing diving headbutt. She picks up a staple gun and shoots four or five staples into the shoulder of Cross who screeches in pain.
Sting: Oh, no worse than a tummy tuck.
Ross with a gourdbuster on Antonio causing a dark crimson mask to form on his opponents face. Ross picks Antonio up and nails Antonio with a polish hammer knocking him out cold. Ross wakes him up by putting the staple gun right against the side of Antonio’s cheek firing twice.
Foote: These high powered construction staple guns are just ripping through the flesh of these competitors.
Ferolino is still working over Cross – this time she just starts bashing the staple gun into the head of Cross over and over and over busting him wide open. She takes to the top rope and comes down on Cross with a moonsault. She goes back up top leaps over Ross with a corkscrew crossbody and comes across a bloody Antonio for the pin.
Sting: Ferolino has just decided to use the actual gun as a weapon instead of firing staples.
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ROSS YANKS FEROLINO OFF!
Foote: Ross wants this one.
Ferolino and Ross are going at it now. Ross hits her with a full nelson slam. He then grabs her legs and slingshots Buck Nasty toward the corner – somehow she lands on the top turnbuckle and comes back at Ross with a crossbody – he catches her out of hid air and flips her into a nasty pumphandle driver. Cross has blood running down his shoulder and face from the assault Ferolino went on. He closelines Ross – but it has little effect – suddenly Ross picks Cross up and powerbombs him into the turnbuckle.
Foote: This guy has been fucking killing people in CU:LT and putting on classics but still hasn’t picked up a win. This could be the night for Ross with the damage he is dishing out.
Ferolino biffs a staple gun across the ring and it catches Ross right between the eyes – she follows up closelining the big man over the ropes. Antonio grabs Ferolino by the shoulder spinning her around. Ferolino greets him with a Yakuza kick. Buck Nasty now comes off the top with a coffin drop onto Antonio. She snatches up andother stapler and adds some to his forehead.
Sting: Ferolino just tossing the staple gun and going on a tear.
Ross spins Ferolino around hitting her with a nasty spine buster. Cross creeps up behind Ross and shoots a staple into each shoulder – it does little but get the big man’s attention. Ross drops Cross with a Cactus closeline. He grabs Cross by the back of the head pulling him back to his feet. Ross nails a delayed hangman’s neckbreaker.
Foote: Fuck em up Ross!
Cross grabs a stapler and shoots one into the foot of Ross who just gets angry and lifts him up and slams him down viciously with a deadlift powerbomb. Ross throws Cross to the corner. Cross falls into a seated position and Ross sandwiches him with a corner cannonball. Ross hauls him out by the ankle and makes the cover.
Sting: The crowd is not behind Ross listen to those jeers – but he could care less.
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FEROLINO BREAKS IT UP!
Sting: Buck Nasty saves it.
Ross gets up getting into Ferolino’s face and she pistol whips him twice with a staple gun. Ross rushes Ferolino and hits her with a huge shoulder block knocking Ferolino clear across the ring. She rolls to the outside.
Foote: If wrestling doesn’t work out football will.
Ross now takes Antonio and up on his shoulders and hits a running Death Valley driver.
Foote: Blazed! And now Ross is setting him up.
Antonio pushes the blood out of his face and gets to his feet only to be greeted with a gonzo bomb.
Sting: H-BOMB from Ross.
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ROPE BREAK!
Foote: Ferolino saves him!
Ferolino puts Antonio’s foot on the rope saving her shot at the SNUFF Championship. She slides in the ring dual wielding staple guns, but Ross picks her up by the throat. Buck Nasty reaches out with the staple guns and puts them on either side of Ross’ temple and pulls the triggers turning the bastard into Frankenstien’s monster. He lets Ferolino down and she dropkicks him, forcing him to fall out of the ring.
Sting: Jesus what a shot with those staples to either side of Ross’ head.
Ferolino hits Cross with a spear. She then grabs his tongue while he is down and pushes the staple gun down hard against it stapling his tongue to the fucking canvas. The crowd groans as Ferolino heads to the top rope. She comes off with a shooting star press along the back of Cross.
Sting: BANG!
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KICKOUT!
Sing: I can't believe Cross just kicked out.
Ross out of no where picks up Ferolino and tosses her with a belly to belly. He picks her up in a gorilla press and tosses her right at Antonio. She lands on in him with a crossbody taking both out of the ring. Ross turns his attention to Cross and and nails a H-Bomb.
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DING! DING! DING!
Anderson: The winner of this match and Number One Contender for the SNUFF Championship HOLDEN ROSS!!!
Referee Tom Garcia raises Holden Ross's arm as his music plays through The FTX arena. Ross slides out of the ring and walks to the back leaving the destruction behind him.
Sting: There we have it Holden Ross picks up his first win and it's a major one. Now he will face off against either Justin York or JD Driftwood at Trash Wrestling for Garbage Humans at the end of July.
"Something in the Way" Nirvana fading into "Kill Me" Cane Hill hits and Brandon Moore appears on stage with the CU:LT Classic Championship over his shoulder.
Anderson: Now coming to the ring weighing in at 243lbs and standing 6’4 he is the CU:LT Classic Champion Brandon Moore!
The crowd cheers for Moore as he makes his way down the ramp.
Sting: Moore managed to defend his championship for the first time last month against Vincent Black – but tonight he faces his biggest challenge yet.
Moore steps through the ropes and hands the title to the referee as he waits for his opponent.
Anderson: And the challenger.
The sounds of a horn replaying over and over on a track would take over the arena currently. Smoke slowly stared to gather along the CULT-Tron, an mempo half mask slowly appearing. Almost pulsing to the repeat of the horn, every time a letter would appear upon the screen, until the words "SHOGUN KAISER" appeared above the red mempo mask, in an eastern style of text. Suddenly the lyrics of one Big Punisher would echo about the arena hailing the introduction of the warrior soon to be joining the mayhem.
Anderson: weighing in at 240lbs standing 6’4 fighting out of Tokyo, Japan by way of Munich, Germany… he is “The Dream Shatterer” SHOGUN KAISER!
Ay-yo I shatter dreams like Jordan, assault and batter your team
Your squadron'll be barred from rap like Adam & Eve from the garden
I'm carvin' my initials on your forehead
So every night before bed you see the "SK" shine off the board head
Reverse that, I curse at the first wack n*gga with the worst rap
Cuz he ain't worth jack
Hit 'em with a thousand pounds of pressure per slap
Foote: I hate all the theatrics with this asshole.
Some changes to the lyrics were used, subtle, but it was all to cater to the man who made his way out towards the stage. His short time in the states taught him one thing, the way he presented himself was everything in this industry. He worked tirelessly to make sure everything had its place, one can almost picture him practicing this entrance time and time again. First thing notable was the ring jacket he wore down to the ring. Long, and it was extravagant. Different colors of red, black, white and gold would be all over. A long golden chain, adorned with hundreds of different golden spikes would be around his neck hanging nearly to his waistline. He stood there, looking to the hopeful future claim for his kingdom. Stone faced only for a moment until that million dollar cocky smirk would appear on this lips. Flaring his ring jacket out behind him, he made his way down the ramp way, hands extended out to slap the hands of those who reached out towards him. All the while, the audience still being gifted by those lyrics that made a well told his story to some effort.
Sting: All the theatrics is a way for Shogun to get into his opponents head. The match begins for this guy long before the bell rings.
I'm pure adrenaline, uncut, straight to your gut, medicine
Raw cure for pain I coat your brain like polyurethane
Simple and plain, I'll explain it in layman terms
If you came to learn how to make fire, I'm-a make it burn!
Higher and hotter than lava this scholar
Is 'bout just as smart as MacGyver
To put honor inside the heart of a lion
Revolved in a life of crime
Fuck it I like the shine, Up in the white and lime
Comes with the pipe design
Plushed out! No doubt! Both pockets about to bust out
If you not in it for the spinach, GET THE FUCK OUT!
Up the ring steps he went, wiping those wrestling boots on the ring apron. Finally entering soon after, he moved to the middle of the ring. He looked from side to side before both arms slowly rose up and extended out to their full length. Hands moved upwards as both hands now were held up in a claw motion. This pose happen to link up with the lyrics. Gold, red, and black streamers started to rain down upon the crowd as he did so. His head still head high for a couple of more moments before he finally shifted his stance. Moving to the turnbuckle closest to the rampway, he bound up to the second rope and looked out to the crowd. Pointing to the ring, then to them, he once more executed that post. Lowering down, he turned towards the middle of the ring now. That jacket slowly sliding off of his body and tossed off to the side, his necklace removed and placed to the side as well. Standing there in the corner, he was now seen in the entire attire, shorts and boots that matched the same color scheme as his ring jacket, even mimicking the same designs he had upon the jacket. Everything had its place, when the whole get up was placed together, it was like there wasn't a line out of place!
Foote: Alright let’s get this fucking shit on the go.
DING! DING! DING!
Moore and Shogun lock up in the middle of the ring and Brandon kicks it off with an arm drag. Shogun rolls up quickly off the mat coming at Moore, but it met with a wrist lock transitioned into a short-arm bicycle high knee. Moore follows the combo up with a gutwrench suplex.
Sting: The champion hitting a high impact move right out of the gate.
Shogun retaliates with forearm shivers backing up the Classic Champion. Shogun levels Moore with a Yakuza kick. Moore is up off the canvas quickly though – but only eats an enzuigiri – Moore staggers and falls forward into a Northern Lights Suplex.
Foote: Oh, Shogun responds with a toss of his own.
The champion and challenger are exchanging a flurry of strikes and then Moore manages to muscle in a full nelson. When Shogun manages to free an arm – Moore pulls him back and overhead with a half nelson suplex. Moore ties his opponent up with a crossface just pulling back as hard as he can – Shogun reaches for the ropes and grabs them. Referee JJ Huffman forces Moore to break the hold and the champion gets in his face. Shogun sneaks up behind for a roll up.
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KICKOUT!
Sting: Shogun trying to steal one there and you can’t blame him – anything it takes to be champion.
Moore rolls out of the pin and charges at Shogun with a knee catching him flush on the forehead. Moore pulls Shogun to his feet and throws him back with an overhead belly to belly suplex. Moore grabs Shogun by the waist and hoists him up from the ground, tossing him overhead again – this time with a German suplex.
Foote: Almost tossed him back to his stomping ground in Japan with that throw.
Moore cracks his neck as he stalks Shogun kicking him in the kidneys – when Shogun rolls over Moore stops an elbow. Moore brings Shogun to his feet and drops him on the crown of his head with an Argentine DDT. Moore makes the cover.
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KICKOUT!
Sting: Both of these men would not mind having an early night.
The Classic Champion paces a moment thinking about his next attack. When Shogun gets up Moore takes him out with a snap fisherman suplex hooking the leg for a pin.
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KICKOUT!
Foote: Moore is going to have to watch every step being in there with a veteran like Shogun.
Moore smirks – knowing he wasn’t going to get the pin in but he had to try. Moore hits a fallway pumphandle slam just manhandling his opponent. Shogun manages to pulls himself back to his feet with the ropes but Moore pulls him backward with a snapdragon.
Sting: Ouroboros by the Classic Champion right there and he has Shogun right where he wants him.
Moore plants himself on the back as most of the crowd cheers his assault on. Shogun manages to get back to his feet and hits Moore with a couple weak chops. Moore nails a pumphandle flipping release half nelson suplex. Moore yanks Shogun back to his feet and viciously slams him with a uranage – overshooting it so Shogun lands on his neck with his legs flipped over his head.
Foote: Right on his skull, Moore is working stiff tonight baby.
Shogun is one again pulling himself to his feet using the ropes and Moore cuts him off with a running bicycle knee strike to the side of the head.
Foote: FUCK YOUR MOTHER FUCKIN’ FACE! The champ laid his ass the fuck out.
Moore with the pin.
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KICKOUT!
Sting: What a kickout by Shogun and the crowd pops as the action continues.
Shogun is shaking his head as he gets up trying to clear his head. Moore hits him with some chops across the chest – but Shogun express delivers some forearm shivers pushing the champion back. Shogun drops Moore with a closeline. As Moore comes back up he takes a palm strike and then a tombstone piledriver.
Foote: I’ll take a shit ton more than that to send Brandon to the grave.
Shogun the top rope now. He taunts for the elbow drop raising his arms in the air and then flies off aiming it directly for the center of Moore’s chest – but he misses and the champion takes advantage, locking in an armbar on the arm Shogun just drove into the ground.
Sting: What a calculated move from the champion there.
Moore is pulling and pulling on the arm. Shogun gets to his feet and pushes Moore onto his shoulders…
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KICKOUT!
Sting: Great instinct by Shogun trying to turn it around with a pin.
Moore kicks out by twisting and locking in the armbar even deeper trying to yank it right from Shogun’s body. Shogun manages to slip his arm out between the legs of Moore. When Moore gets up Shogun grabs him by the wrist and nails a ripcord lariat turning the Classic Champion inside out – Shogun covers quickly.
Sting: What an exchange by these two fighting for every inch in this one.
1
2
3
Foote: I don’t believe it…
DING! DING! DING!
Anderson: The winner of this match and NEW CU:LT CLASSIC CHAMPIONSHIP SHOGUN KAISER!!!
JJ Huffman raises Shogun’s hand putting the championship in the other as Moore looks on in disappointment. Shogun grabs the title and heads to the turnbuckle holding it up to the cheering Miami fans.
Anderson: Now coming to the ring weighing in at 243lbs and standing 6’4 he is the CU:LT Classic Champion Brandon Moore!
The crowd cheers for Moore as he makes his way down the ramp.
Sting: Moore managed to defend his championship for the first time last month against Vincent Black – but tonight he faces his biggest challenge yet.
Moore steps through the ropes and hands the title to the referee as he waits for his opponent.
Anderson: And the challenger.
The sounds of a horn replaying over and over on a track would take over the arena currently. Smoke slowly stared to gather along the CULT-Tron, an mempo half mask slowly appearing. Almost pulsing to the repeat of the horn, every time a letter would appear upon the screen, until the words "SHOGUN KAISER" appeared above the red mempo mask, in an eastern style of text. Suddenly the lyrics of one Big Punisher would echo about the arena hailing the introduction of the warrior soon to be joining the mayhem.
Anderson: weighing in at 240lbs standing 6’4 fighting out of Tokyo, Japan by way of Munich, Germany… he is “The Dream Shatterer” SHOGUN KAISER!
Ay-yo I shatter dreams like Jordan, assault and batter your team
Your squadron'll be barred from rap like Adam & Eve from the garden
I'm carvin' my initials on your forehead
So every night before bed you see the "SK" shine off the board head
Reverse that, I curse at the first wack n*gga with the worst rap
Cuz he ain't worth jack
Hit 'em with a thousand pounds of pressure per slap
Foote: I hate all the theatrics with this asshole.
Some changes to the lyrics were used, subtle, but it was all to cater to the man who made his way out towards the stage. His short time in the states taught him one thing, the way he presented himself was everything in this industry. He worked tirelessly to make sure everything had its place, one can almost picture him practicing this entrance time and time again. First thing notable was the ring jacket he wore down to the ring. Long, and it was extravagant. Different colors of red, black, white and gold would be all over. A long golden chain, adorned with hundreds of different golden spikes would be around his neck hanging nearly to his waistline. He stood there, looking to the hopeful future claim for his kingdom. Stone faced only for a moment until that million dollar cocky smirk would appear on this lips. Flaring his ring jacket out behind him, he made his way down the ramp way, hands extended out to slap the hands of those who reached out towards him. All the while, the audience still being gifted by those lyrics that made a well told his story to some effort.
Sting: All the theatrics is a way for Shogun to get into his opponents head. The match begins for this guy long before the bell rings.
I'm pure adrenaline, uncut, straight to your gut, medicine
Raw cure for pain I coat your brain like polyurethane
Simple and plain, I'll explain it in layman terms
If you came to learn how to make fire, I'm-a make it burn!
Higher and hotter than lava this scholar
Is 'bout just as smart as MacGyver
To put honor inside the heart of a lion
Revolved in a life of crime
Fuck it I like the shine, Up in the white and lime
Comes with the pipe design
Plushed out! No doubt! Both pockets about to bust out
If you not in it for the spinach, GET THE FUCK OUT!
Up the ring steps he went, wiping those wrestling boots on the ring apron. Finally entering soon after, he moved to the middle of the ring. He looked from side to side before both arms slowly rose up and extended out to their full length. Hands moved upwards as both hands now were held up in a claw motion. This pose happen to link up with the lyrics. Gold, red, and black streamers started to rain down upon the crowd as he did so. His head still head high for a couple of more moments before he finally shifted his stance. Moving to the turnbuckle closest to the rampway, he bound up to the second rope and looked out to the crowd. Pointing to the ring, then to them, he once more executed that post. Lowering down, he turned towards the middle of the ring now. That jacket slowly sliding off of his body and tossed off to the side, his necklace removed and placed to the side as well. Standing there in the corner, he was now seen in the entire attire, shorts and boots that matched the same color scheme as his ring jacket, even mimicking the same designs he had upon the jacket. Everything had its place, when the whole get up was placed together, it was like there wasn't a line out of place!
Foote: Alright let’s get this fucking shit on the go.
DING! DING! DING!
Moore and Shogun lock up in the middle of the ring and Brandon kicks it off with an arm drag. Shogun rolls up quickly off the mat coming at Moore, but it met with a wrist lock transitioned into a short-arm bicycle high knee. Moore follows the combo up with a gutwrench suplex.
Sting: The champion hitting a high impact move right out of the gate.
Shogun retaliates with forearm shivers backing up the Classic Champion. Shogun levels Moore with a Yakuza kick. Moore is up off the canvas quickly though – but only eats an enzuigiri – Moore staggers and falls forward into a Northern Lights Suplex.
Foote: Oh, Shogun responds with a toss of his own.
The champion and challenger are exchanging a flurry of strikes and then Moore manages to muscle in a full nelson. When Shogun manages to free an arm – Moore pulls him back and overhead with a half nelson suplex. Moore ties his opponent up with a crossface just pulling back as hard as he can – Shogun reaches for the ropes and grabs them. Referee JJ Huffman forces Moore to break the hold and the champion gets in his face. Shogun sneaks up behind for a roll up.
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3
KICKOUT!
Sting: Shogun trying to steal one there and you can’t blame him – anything it takes to be champion.
Moore rolls out of the pin and charges at Shogun with a knee catching him flush on the forehead. Moore pulls Shogun to his feet and throws him back with an overhead belly to belly suplex. Moore grabs Shogun by the waist and hoists him up from the ground, tossing him overhead again – this time with a German suplex.
Foote: Almost tossed him back to his stomping ground in Japan with that throw.
Moore cracks his neck as he stalks Shogun kicking him in the kidneys – when Shogun rolls over Moore stops an elbow. Moore brings Shogun to his feet and drops him on the crown of his head with an Argentine DDT. Moore makes the cover.
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2
3
KICKOUT!
Sting: Both of these men would not mind having an early night.
The Classic Champion paces a moment thinking about his next attack. When Shogun gets up Moore takes him out with a snap fisherman suplex hooking the leg for a pin.
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2
KICKOUT!
Foote: Moore is going to have to watch every step being in there with a veteran like Shogun.
Moore smirks – knowing he wasn’t going to get the pin in but he had to try. Moore hits a fallway pumphandle slam just manhandling his opponent. Shogun manages to pulls himself back to his feet with the ropes but Moore pulls him backward with a snapdragon.
Sting: Ouroboros by the Classic Champion right there and he has Shogun right where he wants him.
Moore plants himself on the back as most of the crowd cheers his assault on. Shogun manages to get back to his feet and hits Moore with a couple weak chops. Moore nails a pumphandle flipping release half nelson suplex. Moore yanks Shogun back to his feet and viciously slams him with a uranage – overshooting it so Shogun lands on his neck with his legs flipped over his head.
Foote: Right on his skull, Moore is working stiff tonight baby.
Shogun is one again pulling himself to his feet using the ropes and Moore cuts him off with a running bicycle knee strike to the side of the head.
Foote: FUCK YOUR MOTHER FUCKIN’ FACE! The champ laid his ass the fuck out.
Moore with the pin.
1
2
3
KICKOUT!
Sting: What a kickout by Shogun and the crowd pops as the action continues.
Shogun is shaking his head as he gets up trying to clear his head. Moore hits him with some chops across the chest – but Shogun express delivers some forearm shivers pushing the champion back. Shogun drops Moore with a closeline. As Moore comes back up he takes a palm strike and then a tombstone piledriver.
Foote: I’ll take a shit ton more than that to send Brandon to the grave.
Shogun the top rope now. He taunts for the elbow drop raising his arms in the air and then flies off aiming it directly for the center of Moore’s chest – but he misses and the champion takes advantage, locking in an armbar on the arm Shogun just drove into the ground.
Sting: What a calculated move from the champion there.
Moore is pulling and pulling on the arm. Shogun gets to his feet and pushes Moore onto his shoulders…
1
2
3
KICKOUT!
Sting: Great instinct by Shogun trying to turn it around with a pin.
Moore kicks out by twisting and locking in the armbar even deeper trying to yank it right from Shogun’s body. Shogun manages to slip his arm out between the legs of Moore. When Moore gets up Shogun grabs him by the wrist and nails a ripcord lariat turning the Classic Champion inside out – Shogun covers quickly.
Sting: What an exchange by these two fighting for every inch in this one.
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3
Foote: I don’t believe it…
DING! DING! DING!
Anderson: The winner of this match and NEW CU:LT CLASSIC CHAMPIONSHIP SHOGUN KAISER!!!
JJ Huffman raises Shogun’s hand putting the championship in the other as Moore looks on in disappointment. Shogun grabs the title and heads to the turnbuckle holding it up to the cheering Miami fans.
As the drum roll of “Cherub Rock” begins, the lights in the arena die. The guitars begin, the lights flickering white in time.
Sting: Now here's someone we haven't seen before!
The song kicks into high-gear, the introduction truncated, and the lights flash with brighter intensity as the guitars get heavier and heavier, revealing the outline of a figure now standing among them. Soon, the song explodes into swing, and the lights go up, revealing a man, standing on the stage, with a black baseball bat draped over his shoulders.
Crowd: WHO ARE YOU? WHO ARE YOU? WHO ARE YOU? WHO ARE YOU?
He wears a black peacoat over a black turtleneck, and he holds the bat with his left hand, a single black leather glove concealing it. On his head, he wears a yellow ski mask, printed with a classic Smiley.
Foote: Just what we need, more fuckin' freaks here.
His free hand reaches back to grip the mask and pull it off his head, shaggy black hair falling down into his face. As he shakes it away, his green eyes seem to light up as his lips part with a devilish grin.
Anderson Shepley: Making his way to the ring, from Oakland, CA, weighing in at 215 lbs… he is “The Rascal King” Johnny Bacchus!
Sting: Now this must be who Lissie Hope's been hinting at making a debut all last week on Twitter! Her and Johnny Bacchus have spent years now going back and forth between friends and enemies! Through his short tenure in Action Wrestling, he's proven to be a cunning and dangerous wrestler.
Foote: Yeah, but CU:LT's full of guys like that. Let's see what the kid's got to set him apart.
Johnny idly slaps hands or takes selfies with any appreciative fans – he blows raspberries or makes stupid faces and jerk-off motions at the less appreciative. At the base of the ring, he leans his bat against the steps before reaching up to grab the ropes and pull himself up. He vaults over the top rope and climbs the turnbuckle, taking a moment to take in the reaction of the crowd, boo or cheer. When he drops down, he approaches Shepley to take the microphone from his hands. The music slowly dies as he stands ready, one hand behind his back as he raises the microphone to speak.
Johnny Bacchus: Some of you may not know who I am... But that's alright because when you look for the reactions of those that do, you'll notice they just became very concerned.
He pauses, savoring the reaction before giving a little shrug.
Johnny Bacchus: Other than Holden Ross, who's probably chiefly concerned with trying to tie his Velcro shoes.
A smattering of boos follow, and Johnny openly cackles at the reaction.
Johnny Bacchus: I could maybe offer a few words of solace and comfort for my friends and enemies who just had their summer break ruin by my appearance. I could possibly tell Cypher that I eagerly await giving him high school flashbacks by shoving his head in a toilet and taking his lunch money – I could tell Maxy-Poo that, oh yes, I did bring the suit in my luggage – I could thank Lissie Hope for the ride from the Brightline station and offer to buy her a coffee after this.
He turns to the camera, gives a wave and blows a kiss before mouthing "Good Luck". He then turns back to the crowd.
Johnny Bacchus: But they already know what I'm about. So allow me to address all of you in the stands and you in the back who still are still bluescreening: CAN I TALK MY SHIT AGAIN?!?
He throws his head back as he bellows the catch phrase, and the crowd responds to the burst of enthusiasm with a pop of their own! Johnny drapes himself over the top rope, looking directly down into the hard cam as he speaks, his words measured and intense.
Johnny Bacchus: Please allow me to introduce myself, I'm a man of wealth and taste. I think most things come best in gold – that includes myself – and I have an edict for those of you in the back holding out on me right now: it doesn't matter who you are or what you represent – your division is on notice, and your reign is now on borrowed time. I have already breached your beaches, taken up fortress in your hills... and the Insurgent is ready to move upon your capitol. This is the beginning of my Long March – I'm about to begin my Great Leap Forward to the front of the line – and if I've got the balls to make some Communist references in Miami-fuckin'-Flordia, just think how little you scare me.
The crowd goes NUCLEAR. Once again, Johnny soaks the heat in with a cackle like a hyena.
Johnny Bacchus: I am the. best. person. on this mic in the industry, and my bite is worse than my bark! I came out here in all black everything just to show how hard I shine! And you're gonna hear a lot of dumb motherfuckers who'll respond to this with dismissal and ridicule and contempt, but talk is cheap unless it comes from me – then it's 24 karat. And I got a Midas Touch that'll turn the teeth in your mouth shining like God's shoe shine. If you already hate me, then please come kill me because I'm about to roll motherfuckers like the Stones, light bitches like Christmas, and I could do both with one hand behind my back and a blunt in the other.
Another reaction from the crowd! Johnny pulls himself up to fully stand on the ropes, bouncing wildly along with the energy of the crowd!
Johnny Bacchus: Pleased to meet you, CU:LT! Hope you guess my name.
Johnny throws the microphone over his shoulder as "Cherub Rock" hits the P.A. to a decidedly mixed reaction! Johnny sticks his tongue out between his teeth, reveling in the reaction, before he rolls out of the ring and snaps up his bat.
Sting: Well, that was quite a debut!
Foote: Lemme tell ya somethin': the little Commie punk's got guts. But I think there's gonna be a LOT of people looking to shut that big mouth of his up VERY soon.
At the top of the ramp, Johnny turns back to the crowd. He gives a dramatic bow before rising up, grabbing his dick at them, and exiting through the curtain, laughing his head off at the cheers and boos of the Miami audience.
Sting: Now here's someone we haven't seen before!
The song kicks into high-gear, the introduction truncated, and the lights flash with brighter intensity as the guitars get heavier and heavier, revealing the outline of a figure now standing among them. Soon, the song explodes into swing, and the lights go up, revealing a man, standing on the stage, with a black baseball bat draped over his shoulders.
Crowd: WHO ARE YOU? WHO ARE YOU? WHO ARE YOU? WHO ARE YOU?
He wears a black peacoat over a black turtleneck, and he holds the bat with his left hand, a single black leather glove concealing it. On his head, he wears a yellow ski mask, printed with a classic Smiley.
Foote: Just what we need, more fuckin' freaks here.
His free hand reaches back to grip the mask and pull it off his head, shaggy black hair falling down into his face. As he shakes it away, his green eyes seem to light up as his lips part with a devilish grin.
Anderson Shepley: Making his way to the ring, from Oakland, CA, weighing in at 215 lbs… he is “The Rascal King” Johnny Bacchus!
Sting: Now this must be who Lissie Hope's been hinting at making a debut all last week on Twitter! Her and Johnny Bacchus have spent years now going back and forth between friends and enemies! Through his short tenure in Action Wrestling, he's proven to be a cunning and dangerous wrestler.
Foote: Yeah, but CU:LT's full of guys like that. Let's see what the kid's got to set him apart.
Johnny idly slaps hands or takes selfies with any appreciative fans – he blows raspberries or makes stupid faces and jerk-off motions at the less appreciative. At the base of the ring, he leans his bat against the steps before reaching up to grab the ropes and pull himself up. He vaults over the top rope and climbs the turnbuckle, taking a moment to take in the reaction of the crowd, boo or cheer. When he drops down, he approaches Shepley to take the microphone from his hands. The music slowly dies as he stands ready, one hand behind his back as he raises the microphone to speak.
Johnny Bacchus: Some of you may not know who I am... But that's alright because when you look for the reactions of those that do, you'll notice they just became very concerned.
He pauses, savoring the reaction before giving a little shrug.
Johnny Bacchus: Other than Holden Ross, who's probably chiefly concerned with trying to tie his Velcro shoes.
A smattering of boos follow, and Johnny openly cackles at the reaction.
Johnny Bacchus: I could maybe offer a few words of solace and comfort for my friends and enemies who just had their summer break ruin by my appearance. I could possibly tell Cypher that I eagerly await giving him high school flashbacks by shoving his head in a toilet and taking his lunch money – I could tell Maxy-Poo that, oh yes, I did bring the suit in my luggage – I could thank Lissie Hope for the ride from the Brightline station and offer to buy her a coffee after this.
He turns to the camera, gives a wave and blows a kiss before mouthing "Good Luck". He then turns back to the crowd.
Johnny Bacchus: But they already know what I'm about. So allow me to address all of you in the stands and you in the back who still are still bluescreening: CAN I TALK MY SHIT AGAIN?!?
He throws his head back as he bellows the catch phrase, and the crowd responds to the burst of enthusiasm with a pop of their own! Johnny drapes himself over the top rope, looking directly down into the hard cam as he speaks, his words measured and intense.
Johnny Bacchus: Please allow me to introduce myself, I'm a man of wealth and taste. I think most things come best in gold – that includes myself – and I have an edict for those of you in the back holding out on me right now: it doesn't matter who you are or what you represent – your division is on notice, and your reign is now on borrowed time. I have already breached your beaches, taken up fortress in your hills... and the Insurgent is ready to move upon your capitol. This is the beginning of my Long March – I'm about to begin my Great Leap Forward to the front of the line – and if I've got the balls to make some Communist references in Miami-fuckin'-Flordia, just think how little you scare me.
The crowd goes NUCLEAR. Once again, Johnny soaks the heat in with a cackle like a hyena.
Johnny Bacchus: I am the. best. person. on this mic in the industry, and my bite is worse than my bark! I came out here in all black everything just to show how hard I shine! And you're gonna hear a lot of dumb motherfuckers who'll respond to this with dismissal and ridicule and contempt, but talk is cheap unless it comes from me – then it's 24 karat. And I got a Midas Touch that'll turn the teeth in your mouth shining like God's shoe shine. If you already hate me, then please come kill me because I'm about to roll motherfuckers like the Stones, light bitches like Christmas, and I could do both with one hand behind my back and a blunt in the other.
Another reaction from the crowd! Johnny pulls himself up to fully stand on the ropes, bouncing wildly along with the energy of the crowd!
Johnny Bacchus: Pleased to meet you, CU:LT! Hope you guess my name.
Johnny throws the microphone over his shoulder as "Cherub Rock" hits the P.A. to a decidedly mixed reaction! Johnny sticks his tongue out between his teeth, reveling in the reaction, before he rolls out of the ring and snaps up his bat.
Sting: Well, that was quite a debut!
Foote: Lemme tell ya somethin': the little Commie punk's got guts. But I think there's gonna be a LOT of people looking to shut that big mouth of his up VERY soon.
At the top of the ramp, Johnny turns back to the crowd. He gives a dramatic bow before rising up, grabbing his dick at them, and exiting through the curtain, laughing his head off at the cheers and boos of the Miami audience.
Number 1 Contender for Classic Championship
Casey Caesar vs Noah Ortega vs Dickie Watson vs Legion
Casey Caesar vs Noah Ortega vs Dickie Watson vs Legion
Watson, Caesar and Ortega are in the ring waiting for their opponent.
Sting: This woman’s entrance might be the most intimidating one in the industry.
The lights on the stage go out, as a cling sound like coins being tossed in the air is heard. The screen begins to flicker, as a man is showing walking through a forest, tossing three gold coins in the air. He follows a path carrying the coins and a lantern. A woman stands towards the end of his path, as she turns to him. She keeps her head down, as the man offers her the coins, she inspects them, as she looks down as he begins to kneel. She places her hand on his shoulder as the screen shuts off, and the two appear on the stage, the song begins playing, as Legion turns to the crowd, placing the gold coins in her chest, Mister J standing behind her.
Foote: This is another rising star in CU:LT she was able to pick up a big win at Jonestown and I know she is hoping to get back to that column tonight.
Wolves asleep amidst the trees
Bats all a swaying in the breeze
But one soul lies anxious wide awake
Fearing no* manner of ghouls, hags and wraiths
For your dolly Polly sleep has flown
Anderson: And their opponent… standing 5'9" weighing in at 143lbs from Tokyo, Japan.... LEGION!
Legion begins her slow walk down from the top of the apron, as she sways with the music her eyes glowing in the dark. She looks up into the ring where there is no one awaiting her, as she makes her way to the bottom, turning slowly as the beat begins to pick up.
Don't dare let her tremble alone
For the witcher, heartless, cold
Paid in coin of gold
He comes he'll go leave naught behind
But heartache and woe
Deep, deep woe
As she climbs the stairs, she slowly slides into the ring, with red spotlights on her. She cackles slightly, as she looks around. She then slowly backs into a corner sitting down, staring up the ramp as Mister J makes his way to ringside as the music cuts out.
DING! DING! DING!
All four meet in the center of the ring and it’s a fucking flurry of strikes all round until they sepeae into two battles. Legion and Dickie are going at it and Noah and Casey battle on the other side of the ring.
Foote: Each person taking their pick of opponent.
Noah with rapid chops on Casey backing him up. Casey tries to fight through it – but Noah get the advantage with an eye poke. Noah keeps on the attack with a chinlock. Then Noah pulls his opponent over with a hip toss followed by a basement dropkick.
Sting: Noah working over Casey pretty easy.
Legion hits an axe kick on Watson. Legion with a German suplex now. She scoops Dickie up to their feet – Legion with a fishermen’s neckbreaker. Legion follows with flipping senton. Dickie is left looking for his teeth as he stands up and is nailed with a super kick.
Sting: Legion just wrecking Dickie Watson – I bet people weren't expecting that. Dickie had to be a favorite coming into this.
Legion and Ortega are face to face now. Legion face washes Ortega. Noah with a hip toss – Lagoon rolls through – she leaps and hits a knee to the head of Oretega who responds with spinning heel kick. Both are laid out for a moment.
Foote: Greta exchange there by both competitors.
Noah with an eye rake followed by a snap suplex on Legion. She sits up but Noah flattens her out with a running basement closeline. He locks Legion up in an arm bar. Legion isn’t in there long as she rolls out. Noah hits the ropes with a backflip and comes catching the neck of Legion with a reverse DDT on the way down. Noah makes the pin.
Sting: What an acrobatic maneuver by Noah Ortega. It’s important to note he was so close to being the one to challenge for the tag titles here tonight – but a well-timed roll up from Chris Page means he was the runner up of the weapon of choice battle royal.
1
2
3
KICKOUT!
Foote: Close call there – but now Legion getting some retaliation.
Legion with an axe kick – followed by a poweslam – then a standing moonsault. Legion holds her arms out to the cheering crowd who appreciates the combo. Legion to the top rope now – she comes off with a corkscrew moonsault across the chest of Noah and covers.
Sting: Legion showing she has no problems flying either.
1
2
3
KICKOUT!
Foote: These two barely kicking out of eachothers moves there.
Casey decides to reenter the battle striking away at Legion. She hits him with a super kick, Casey’s limb body hits the ropes and bounces back into a Samoan drop. Legion picks him up and sprays red mist into his eyes then plants him with a twisted bliss.
Sting: KNIGHTFALL!
Legion covers.
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3
BREAK UP!
Sting: Noah with an axe handle across the back of Legion to prevent her from picking up the win.
Noah puts Legion in a chin lock – Watson comes over and kicks Legion in the ribs a few times – then both double suplex her.
Foote: Some teamwork to take out Legion.
Noah swings Watson to the corner following them in with a nasty closeline. He runs and hits a step up kick to the cornered Watson – then runs and hits a double knee strike in the corner. Watson rolls out of the coner and starts to get up as Noah hops out on the apron. Noah uses the top rope to springboard into the ring with a springboard corkscrew roundhouse kick knocking saliva from Watson’s mouth into the crowd. Noah covers.
Sting: Took the taste out of his mouth with that one.
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3
BREAK UP!
Foote: Legion not ready to call it a night yet.
Noah gets in Legion’s face. Legion open hand slaps the son of a bitch. Legion with knife edged chops backing Noah up. She runs at him with a leg lariat. She then ties up his head ina figure four head scissors while they are down. With Naoh’s head between her knees she pushes up and slams his face into the mat a few times.
Sting: Both these competitors are willing to show their technical ability and why they deserve a shot at the Classic Championship.
Legion takes Noah down once more with a spear. As Legion goes to continue the attack Casey hits her from behind. She locks Casey in a rear naked choke pulling him down to the mat.. Casey somehow escapes flipping over his opponent to his feet.
Foote: Nice escape there by Casey.
He charges Legion but takes another dose of mist to the eyes blinding him as she drives him to the mat with a twisted bliss once more. Legion flips him over for the cover.
1
2
3
BREAK UP!
Sting: NOAH ORTEGA WITH A SPRINGBOARD STOMP TO THE BACK OF THE HEAD OF LEGION!!!
Noah pins Casey while Legion is out cold.
1
2
3
DING! DING! DING!
Anderson: The winner of this match and Number One Contender for the CU:LT Classic Championship NOAH ORTEGA!
Noah slides out of the ring before Legion can come to and get angry. He raises his hand to the crowd to a slightly mixed reaction – but more boos than cheers his music plays him out at Mister J checks on Legion.
Foote: That’s a tough loss for Legion – but there is a huge future ahead for Noah Ortega.
Sting: Looks like it will be Noah Ortega and Shogun Kaiser for the CU:LT Classic Championship at Trash Wrestling for Garbage Humans.
Sting: This woman’s entrance might be the most intimidating one in the industry.
The lights on the stage go out, as a cling sound like coins being tossed in the air is heard. The screen begins to flicker, as a man is showing walking through a forest, tossing three gold coins in the air. He follows a path carrying the coins and a lantern. A woman stands towards the end of his path, as she turns to him. She keeps her head down, as the man offers her the coins, she inspects them, as she looks down as he begins to kneel. She places her hand on his shoulder as the screen shuts off, and the two appear on the stage, the song begins playing, as Legion turns to the crowd, placing the gold coins in her chest, Mister J standing behind her.
Foote: This is another rising star in CU:LT she was able to pick up a big win at Jonestown and I know she is hoping to get back to that column tonight.
Wolves asleep amidst the trees
Bats all a swaying in the breeze
But one soul lies anxious wide awake
Fearing no* manner of ghouls, hags and wraiths
For your dolly Polly sleep has flown
Anderson: And their opponent… standing 5'9" weighing in at 143lbs from Tokyo, Japan.... LEGION!
Legion begins her slow walk down from the top of the apron, as she sways with the music her eyes glowing in the dark. She looks up into the ring where there is no one awaiting her, as she makes her way to the bottom, turning slowly as the beat begins to pick up.
Don't dare let her tremble alone
For the witcher, heartless, cold
Paid in coin of gold
He comes he'll go leave naught behind
But heartache and woe
Deep, deep woe
As she climbs the stairs, she slowly slides into the ring, with red spotlights on her. She cackles slightly, as she looks around. She then slowly backs into a corner sitting down, staring up the ramp as Mister J makes his way to ringside as the music cuts out.
DING! DING! DING!
All four meet in the center of the ring and it’s a fucking flurry of strikes all round until they sepeae into two battles. Legion and Dickie are going at it and Noah and Casey battle on the other side of the ring.
Foote: Each person taking their pick of opponent.
Noah with rapid chops on Casey backing him up. Casey tries to fight through it – but Noah get the advantage with an eye poke. Noah keeps on the attack with a chinlock. Then Noah pulls his opponent over with a hip toss followed by a basement dropkick.
Sting: Noah working over Casey pretty easy.
Legion hits an axe kick on Watson. Legion with a German suplex now. She scoops Dickie up to their feet – Legion with a fishermen’s neckbreaker. Legion follows with flipping senton. Dickie is left looking for his teeth as he stands up and is nailed with a super kick.
Sting: Legion just wrecking Dickie Watson – I bet people weren't expecting that. Dickie had to be a favorite coming into this.
Legion and Ortega are face to face now. Legion face washes Ortega. Noah with a hip toss – Lagoon rolls through – she leaps and hits a knee to the head of Oretega who responds with spinning heel kick. Both are laid out for a moment.
Foote: Greta exchange there by both competitors.
Noah with an eye rake followed by a snap suplex on Legion. She sits up but Noah flattens her out with a running basement closeline. He locks Legion up in an arm bar. Legion isn’t in there long as she rolls out. Noah hits the ropes with a backflip and comes catching the neck of Legion with a reverse DDT on the way down. Noah makes the pin.
Sting: What an acrobatic maneuver by Noah Ortega. It’s important to note he was so close to being the one to challenge for the tag titles here tonight – but a well-timed roll up from Chris Page means he was the runner up of the weapon of choice battle royal.
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3
KICKOUT!
Foote: Close call there – but now Legion getting some retaliation.
Legion with an axe kick – followed by a poweslam – then a standing moonsault. Legion holds her arms out to the cheering crowd who appreciates the combo. Legion to the top rope now – she comes off with a corkscrew moonsault across the chest of Noah and covers.
Sting: Legion showing she has no problems flying either.
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3
KICKOUT!
Foote: These two barely kicking out of eachothers moves there.
Casey decides to reenter the battle striking away at Legion. She hits him with a super kick, Casey’s limb body hits the ropes and bounces back into a Samoan drop. Legion picks him up and sprays red mist into his eyes then plants him with a twisted bliss.
Sting: KNIGHTFALL!
Legion covers.
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3
BREAK UP!
Sting: Noah with an axe handle across the back of Legion to prevent her from picking up the win.
Noah puts Legion in a chin lock – Watson comes over and kicks Legion in the ribs a few times – then both double suplex her.
Foote: Some teamwork to take out Legion.
Noah swings Watson to the corner following them in with a nasty closeline. He runs and hits a step up kick to the cornered Watson – then runs and hits a double knee strike in the corner. Watson rolls out of the coner and starts to get up as Noah hops out on the apron. Noah uses the top rope to springboard into the ring with a springboard corkscrew roundhouse kick knocking saliva from Watson’s mouth into the crowd. Noah covers.
Sting: Took the taste out of his mouth with that one.
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3
BREAK UP!
Foote: Legion not ready to call it a night yet.
Noah gets in Legion’s face. Legion open hand slaps the son of a bitch. Legion with knife edged chops backing Noah up. She runs at him with a leg lariat. She then ties up his head ina figure four head scissors while they are down. With Naoh’s head between her knees she pushes up and slams his face into the mat a few times.
Sting: Both these competitors are willing to show their technical ability and why they deserve a shot at the Classic Championship.
Legion takes Noah down once more with a spear. As Legion goes to continue the attack Casey hits her from behind. She locks Casey in a rear naked choke pulling him down to the mat.. Casey somehow escapes flipping over his opponent to his feet.
Foote: Nice escape there by Casey.
He charges Legion but takes another dose of mist to the eyes blinding him as she drives him to the mat with a twisted bliss once more. Legion flips him over for the cover.
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3
BREAK UP!
Sting: NOAH ORTEGA WITH A SPRINGBOARD STOMP TO THE BACK OF THE HEAD OF LEGION!!!
Noah pins Casey while Legion is out cold.
1
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3
DING! DING! DING!
Anderson: The winner of this match and Number One Contender for the CU:LT Classic Championship NOAH ORTEGA!
Noah slides out of the ring before Legion can come to and get angry. He raises his hand to the crowd to a slightly mixed reaction – but more boos than cheers his music plays him out at Mister J checks on Legion.
Foote: That’s a tough loss for Legion – but there is a huge future ahead for Noah Ortega.
Sting: Looks like it will be Noah Ortega and Shogun Kaiser for the CU:LT Classic Championship at Trash Wrestling for Garbage Humans.
Ouija Board Tournament Finals
Corporate Brand Match
What better way to show company loyalty than getting a cattle brand of the CU:LT logo pushed into your flesh – singed in permanently. Whoever can brand their opponent first wins and moves on to the finals of the tournament.
Max Daemon vs Charli Crawford
Corporate Brand Match
What better way to show company loyalty than getting a cattle brand of the CU:LT logo pushed into your flesh – singed in permanently. Whoever can brand their opponent first wins and moves on to the finals of the tournament.
Max Daemon vs Charli Crawford
Max Daemon is already in the ring waiting for his opponent.
Anderson: This will now be the final match in the Ouija Board Tournament.
A strumming guitar plays over the sound system, as the first seconds of ‘In Trouble’ by Ryan Kickland herald the arrival of Charli Crawford, who steps out onto the path that leads towards the ring. Army pants, a plain black undershirt and a dark-green shemagh tied around her neck and draped over one shoulder complete her simple outfit. Her hair is tied in thick braids, with black war-paint smeared under her eyes, traveling across the bridge of her nose in a long, unbroken line.
Anderson: Coming to the ring from Hickman County, KY weighing in at 145 lbs and standing 5’5” CHARLI CRAWFORD!
Rather than soak in the reaction or work the crowd, her eyes remain focused straight ahead. She pauses for a moment, cracking her neck to both sides before taking off in a run towards the ring. Not stopping her pace as she approaches the apron, Charli leaps up and slides under the bottom rope in one fluid movement.
Sting: Crawford has suddenly become a favorite to win this whole thing. The flight situation preventing Dorado and Long from competing tonight could be a blessing for Charli.
Rolling to her feet, she runs to the nearest corner and leaps on top of the second turnbuckle, her face a cold, emotionless mask as her eyes scan the assembled crowd. Lifting both hands to the side of her mouth, she lifts her head back and lets out a long, loud howl that rises above the noise of the crowd.
Foote: I’ll admit she hits a lot heavier than I thought she would.
Dropping her arms back to her sides, she jumps backwards off the turnbuckle, both boots landing firmly on the canvas. Untying the shemagh, she pulls it free with a wide sweep of one arm, draping it over the top rope before turning around to eye down Daemon.
DING! DING! DING!
Max seems a bit off as Crawford gets the best of him early. Crawford tosses Daemon with a Saito suplex. When Daemon comes up to he is it with a DDT. Crawford then takes Daemon for a ride with three chained German suplexes nailing Daemon high on his shoulders very time.
Crawford slides out of the ring and yanks a glowing red CU:LT logo on the end of a cattle branding rod. She tries to push it right into the face of Daemon but he fights it off kicking her back.
Crawford swings the rod and hitting Daemon in the guts. Crawford hits a double knee facecrusher then pick the rod back up.
Sting: Shattered Arrowhead and that has to be it for Daemon he is out cold. Some might consider this an upset.
Crawford stands over Daemon and drives the hot custom CU:LT cattle branding right down into the left pectoral muscle of Max Daemon. He kicks and screams, pulling the brand out of his burning flesh.
DING! DING! DING!
Anderson: The winner of this match and THE FIRST OUIJA TOURNAMENT WINNER CHARLI CRAWFORD!
Crawford’s music plays and she exits the ring – getting ready to accept her fate through the mysterious Ouija board later in the night.
Anderson: This will now be the final match in the Ouija Board Tournament.
A strumming guitar plays over the sound system, as the first seconds of ‘In Trouble’ by Ryan Kickland herald the arrival of Charli Crawford, who steps out onto the path that leads towards the ring. Army pants, a plain black undershirt and a dark-green shemagh tied around her neck and draped over one shoulder complete her simple outfit. Her hair is tied in thick braids, with black war-paint smeared under her eyes, traveling across the bridge of her nose in a long, unbroken line.
Anderson: Coming to the ring from Hickman County, KY weighing in at 145 lbs and standing 5’5” CHARLI CRAWFORD!
Rather than soak in the reaction or work the crowd, her eyes remain focused straight ahead. She pauses for a moment, cracking her neck to both sides before taking off in a run towards the ring. Not stopping her pace as she approaches the apron, Charli leaps up and slides under the bottom rope in one fluid movement.
Sting: Crawford has suddenly become a favorite to win this whole thing. The flight situation preventing Dorado and Long from competing tonight could be a blessing for Charli.
Rolling to her feet, she runs to the nearest corner and leaps on top of the second turnbuckle, her face a cold, emotionless mask as her eyes scan the assembled crowd. Lifting both hands to the side of her mouth, she lifts her head back and lets out a long, loud howl that rises above the noise of the crowd.
Foote: I’ll admit she hits a lot heavier than I thought she would.
Dropping her arms back to her sides, she jumps backwards off the turnbuckle, both boots landing firmly on the canvas. Untying the shemagh, she pulls it free with a wide sweep of one arm, draping it over the top rope before turning around to eye down Daemon.
DING! DING! DING!
Max seems a bit off as Crawford gets the best of him early. Crawford tosses Daemon with a Saito suplex. When Daemon comes up to he is it with a DDT. Crawford then takes Daemon for a ride with three chained German suplexes nailing Daemon high on his shoulders very time.
Crawford slides out of the ring and yanks a glowing red CU:LT logo on the end of a cattle branding rod. She tries to push it right into the face of Daemon but he fights it off kicking her back.
Crawford swings the rod and hitting Daemon in the guts. Crawford hits a double knee facecrusher then pick the rod back up.
Sting: Shattered Arrowhead and that has to be it for Daemon he is out cold. Some might consider this an upset.
Crawford stands over Daemon and drives the hot custom CU:LT cattle branding right down into the left pectoral muscle of Max Daemon. He kicks and screams, pulling the brand out of his burning flesh.
DING! DING! DING!
Anderson: The winner of this match and THE FIRST OUIJA TOURNAMENT WINNER CHARLI CRAWFORD!
Crawford’s music plays and she exits the ring – getting ready to accept her fate through the mysterious Ouija board later in the night.
Yamborghini High - A$AP Mob hits the sound system and rings throughout the arena and the crowd cheers for someone who has grown a major – well cult following.
Anderson: From New York, New York, weighing in at 132lbs standing 5’10”... JAKA!
Jaka appears on stage, a pair of Air Jordan 12 Retro “Flu Game” 2016s strapped to her feet. She stomps to the ring in the purple and white kicks.
Sting: Jaka is a hustler – how else can you explain her getting a shot at the title after being on the losing end of the number one contender match against Lissie Hope.
Jaka slides in the ring and taunts toward the cheering Vegas crowd. She smiles wide showing off her gap teeth.
Foote: Sure she has been good at being in the right place at the right time but she has yet to take advantage of the opportunities she has been given. She had a huge win against Iggy Deluna but the champion – we’ll some would say she isn’t even human.
Zombie” by the Cranberries begins to play on the PA system as the lights on stage fade to black. The audience pulls their phones out to help the camera search the crowd for the mysterious Jane.
Sting: Jane Doe is becoming a well known name with the work she has done in CU:LT her feud with Donnie Hopkins has a lot of people talking. He’s tried to bury her, tried to down her and here she it still the New World Champion.
Anderson: Now coming to the ring from The Potters Field standing 5’6 weighting 147lbs Voice of the Victim THE CU:LT NEW WORLD CHAMPION JANNNNNEEEE DOEEEEE!
As the music lowers and the leading riff plays, the Voice of the Victim steps from one of the entrance followed by the Speaker of the Dead holding Jane’s world championship. Fans reach towards her, hesitant as she slowly walks through the crowd. Upon reaching the ring, Jane slides in and crawls towards the center as Sound stands patiently ringside.
DING! DING! DING!
Jaka doesn’t have the speed to come out the gate like she normally likes to do so she circles the New World Champion instead. Locking up Jaka gets the best of the champ with a few forearms, but they don’t even seem to register on Jane. The champ tilts her head to the side and pulls Jaka into her by the neck into a head butt. When Jaka is on her knees Jane nails his with fists, but Jaka battles back with a European uppercut separating the two.
Sting: I was thinking this match would be the battle of the foot stomp, but Jaka’s bad ankle is putting her at a disadvantage in that battle.
Jaka and Jane tie up once more and Jane his a inverted atomic drop, followed by a forearm – she hits the ropes and comes off with a shogun dropkick but Jaka side steps and Jane hits the ground. She gets back up and charges Jaka – Jane is caught in a leaping knee strike. Jaka holds on to Jane’s wrist and pulls her up right into a rip chord knee to the face.
Foote: The ankle doesn’t seem to impacting Jaka too much as of yet.
Jaka hits a shortarm big boot with her bad ankle not wanting to put weight on it. Jaka hits a standing shooting star into a pin. Referee Tom Garcia makes the count.
1
2
KICKOUT!!!
Sting: Jaka still manages to have a bit of the speed advantage here.
Jane and Jaka back to their feet and Jaka hits a hurricanrana – Jane pops back up and Jaka rolls her over with another hurricanrana into a pin.
1
2
3
KICKOUT!
Sting: Jaka trying everything to sneak away with the World Championship. This is her second opportunity and if she slips up again, who knows how long it could be before she has another go at the title belt.
Jane back up and Jaka pulls her back down with a neckbreaker. Jane crawls a bit and meets eyes with Death Rattler – silently the Sound of Death tells her how to attack. Jane drops an elbow down onto the foot connected to Jaka’s bad ankle. Jane hits a running knee to the head of Jaka. Jane throws her opponent to the corner and hits a splash, as Jaka staggers out she takes a DDT right on the crown of her head. The crowd is losing it cheering for Jane – she sits there looking around the arena confused.
Foote: I have to say for a dead gal she sure knows how to get the heart pumping in an arena like this.
Swinging neck breaker by Jane, she grabs Jaka by the neck and hauls her up to her feet. Jane hits a flurry of wild strikes finishing the combo off with a kick to the gut. Jane hits a pile driver on Jaka. Jane grabs Jaka’s ankle and DDT’s it, she locks in a leg lock and pulls on the ankle screaming. Jaka kicka Jane off with her good foot – but Jane grabs the bad ankle and drags her opponent to the corner. Jane slides out of the ring and grabs Jaka’s ankle and smashes it into the turnbuckle. Jaka screams and kicks – but Jane reaches into the ring and pulls Jaka back again, smashing her sprained ankle against the turnbuckle post.
Sting: Jane just dismantled the ankle joining of Jaka here. She can smell the injury.
Jane slides into the ring stalking her prey at this point. Jaka is using the ropes to pull herself to her feet and just as she does Jane comes rushing with a rolling thunder – flipping through the air and hitting her with her heel right between the eyes and Jaka is out cold.
Foote: DEATH MARCH! The champion hits a signature move from her set.
Jane makes the cover.
1
2
3
KICKOUT!
Sting: She almost retained – but Jaka has one hell of a huge heart.
Jane looks to The Sound of Death who nods. Jane picks Jaka up and puts her outside on the ring apron. Jane drags Jaka through hanging her legs up on the second rope for a DDT but Jaka fights back pulling the champion into the ropes. Jaka hits an uppercut, then grabs Jane by the head and walks along the ring apron with her smashing the head of Jane into the turnbuckle pad over and over. Jane falls down and Jaka slingshots over the top rope with an elbow drop.
Foote: If Jaka can stay on it here she has a chance to get the champion reeling.
Jaka climbs to the top rope now looking to put some mustard on this fucking hot dog. She leaps off with a shooting star elbow drop and nailing it perfect. Jaka gets the cover quick hooking the leg.
1
2
3
KICKOUT!
Foote: Christ already stay dead.
Jaka keep on the assault she headbutts the champion while she is on the ground. Jaka takes Jane to her feet and hits a suplex – a little unorthodox for Jaka but she’s trying to compensate for the sprained ankle. Jaka gets herself back up on the top rope coming off with a 450 splash catching Jane flush.
1
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3
KICKOUT!!!!
Foote: NO! I can’t believe it. What does it take to keep Jane Doe down.
The New World Champion just won’t stay down. Jane cracks her jaw, twists and controtes her joints awkwardly as she gets to her feet – sniffing the air and eyeing Jaka’s bad ankle. Jaka lays strikes but they have little effect. Jaka misses with a right, as she spins around Jane kicks her in the back and then runs at Jaka dropping her with a bulldog. While Jaka is on the ground Jane picks her up by the back of the head and slams Jaka’s face into the mat over and over and over.
Sting: Jane isn’t fancy at times – but she is effective – trying to rearrange the face of Jaka.
Jane is on the top rope and Jaka gets up shaking the cobwebs loose from having her nogging cracking against the canvas over and over. Jane comes off the top hitting a twisting cross body. The Miami crowd is roaring getting behind the champion as she begins her come back. Jaka rolls over and Jane snatches her sprained ankle up and starts twisting it with a crude version of an ankle lock. Jaka screams out in pain as the champion twists on the joint.
Foote: Jesus, this crazy bitch is trying to sever the foot of Jaka live on PPV. You bastards are getting your money’s worth.
Jaka manages to somersault out of it kicking Jane toward the ropes – Jane falls between the ropes to the outside of the ring. Jaka looks to the crowd cheering at the action, she mouths the words ‘fuck’ as she does maybe the only sprint she has in her – running across the ring and driving between the ropes taking out the champ onthe ground outside. CULT chants ring out as Jaka pulls herself using the guardrail smirking.
Sting: That might be the only sprint Jaka has in her this entire match and she has to be happy she used it effectively.
Jaka manages to get Jane to the ring apron but the battles Jaka off climbing up on the apron on her own free will. Jaka joins her and the two kick and punch at one another. Jane hits an elbow forcing Jaka to grab onto the rope. Jane leaps off the apron grabbing Jaka by the back of the shoulders and pulling her down onto her knees – both them falling to the ground below.
Foote: CENOTAPH!!!
Jane throws Jaka’s limp body under the ropes – Jane holds her back for a moment but seems to readjust her vertebrae as she slides into the ring covering her opponent.
1
2
3
KICKOUT!
Sting: Jaka kicks out of Jane’s finisher!
Jaka throws a shoulder up in defiance. Jane stomps on her ankle a few times to get even – then Jane starts in a frenzy stomping all limbs and parts of Jaka’s body viciously. Jane opens her mouth as if to scream – but nothing comes out. She looks to The Sound of Death who shoots her eyes toward the top rope. She heads to the top rope and comes down with a huge stomp down onto Jaka. Jane covers quickly.
1
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3
Foote: Well that’s all she wrote.
DING! DING! DING!
Anderson: The winner of this match and STILL NEW WORLD CHAMPION JANE DOE!!!
The crowd pops as The Sound of Death grabs the championship from ringside. As Tom Garcia raises Jane Doe’s hand she reaches out and tries to take a bit out of his tiny arm. He jerks back looking at her as The Sound of Death puts the championship over Jane’s still warm body.
Foote: What a fucking creep.
Jane and The Death Rattler walk up the ramp and as they reach the top Donnie Hopkins sneaks up behind Jane and pushes a taser into her lower back causing her to convulse and fall to the ground. Donnie kicks hera few times for good measure then looks at The Sound of Death – snatching the New World Championship from her shoulder forcing her to fall backward.
Sting: What the hell is this? Another sadistic attack from Donnie Hopkins… he just electrocuted the champion for fuck sake.
Foote: He tried everything else to get his championship what’s another fucking felony?
As Jane gets up Donnie cracks her in the head with the New World Championship. Jane’s bleeding now on the ramp and Donnie tosses the championship down on her.
Sting: What a disgusting attack by Hopkins – but at this point I’m expecting it from this sad sad man.
The Sound of Death is now by Jane checking on her as Donnie flashes the taser to the booing crowd pretend to lick it. Then he starts once again driving it into the champion, sending volts through her body again and again.
Foote: Alright… even I think that’s enough… get some security out here.
Bash Daddy, Head of CU:LT Security, grabs Donnie in a full nelson, pulling him back off Jane and forcing him to drop the taser on the ground. More smaller security guards come out to help escort Hopkins away as he is heard laughing.
Sting: I hope that Jane Don is alright.
Foote: I don’t think anything can take her out Stacy – and I think Donnie just made her angry
Anderson: From New York, New York, weighing in at 132lbs standing 5’10”... JAKA!
Jaka appears on stage, a pair of Air Jordan 12 Retro “Flu Game” 2016s strapped to her feet. She stomps to the ring in the purple and white kicks.
Sting: Jaka is a hustler – how else can you explain her getting a shot at the title after being on the losing end of the number one contender match against Lissie Hope.
Jaka slides in the ring and taunts toward the cheering Vegas crowd. She smiles wide showing off her gap teeth.
Foote: Sure she has been good at being in the right place at the right time but she has yet to take advantage of the opportunities she has been given. She had a huge win against Iggy Deluna but the champion – we’ll some would say she isn’t even human.
Zombie” by the Cranberries begins to play on the PA system as the lights on stage fade to black. The audience pulls their phones out to help the camera search the crowd for the mysterious Jane.
Sting: Jane Doe is becoming a well known name with the work she has done in CU:LT her feud with Donnie Hopkins has a lot of people talking. He’s tried to bury her, tried to down her and here she it still the New World Champion.
Anderson: Now coming to the ring from The Potters Field standing 5’6 weighting 147lbs Voice of the Victim THE CU:LT NEW WORLD CHAMPION JANNNNNEEEE DOEEEEE!
As the music lowers and the leading riff plays, the Voice of the Victim steps from one of the entrance followed by the Speaker of the Dead holding Jane’s world championship. Fans reach towards her, hesitant as she slowly walks through the crowd. Upon reaching the ring, Jane slides in and crawls towards the center as Sound stands patiently ringside.
DING! DING! DING!
Jaka doesn’t have the speed to come out the gate like she normally likes to do so she circles the New World Champion instead. Locking up Jaka gets the best of the champ with a few forearms, but they don’t even seem to register on Jane. The champ tilts her head to the side and pulls Jaka into her by the neck into a head butt. When Jaka is on her knees Jane nails his with fists, but Jaka battles back with a European uppercut separating the two.
Sting: I was thinking this match would be the battle of the foot stomp, but Jaka’s bad ankle is putting her at a disadvantage in that battle.
Jaka and Jane tie up once more and Jane his a inverted atomic drop, followed by a forearm – she hits the ropes and comes off with a shogun dropkick but Jaka side steps and Jane hits the ground. She gets back up and charges Jaka – Jane is caught in a leaping knee strike. Jaka holds on to Jane’s wrist and pulls her up right into a rip chord knee to the face.
Foote: The ankle doesn’t seem to impacting Jaka too much as of yet.
Jaka hits a shortarm big boot with her bad ankle not wanting to put weight on it. Jaka hits a standing shooting star into a pin. Referee Tom Garcia makes the count.
1
2
KICKOUT!!!
Sting: Jaka still manages to have a bit of the speed advantage here.
Jane and Jaka back to their feet and Jaka hits a hurricanrana – Jane pops back up and Jaka rolls her over with another hurricanrana into a pin.
1
2
3
KICKOUT!
Sting: Jaka trying everything to sneak away with the World Championship. This is her second opportunity and if she slips up again, who knows how long it could be before she has another go at the title belt.
Jane back up and Jaka pulls her back down with a neckbreaker. Jane crawls a bit and meets eyes with Death Rattler – silently the Sound of Death tells her how to attack. Jane drops an elbow down onto the foot connected to Jaka’s bad ankle. Jane hits a running knee to the head of Jaka. Jane throws her opponent to the corner and hits a splash, as Jaka staggers out she takes a DDT right on the crown of her head. The crowd is losing it cheering for Jane – she sits there looking around the arena confused.
Foote: I have to say for a dead gal she sure knows how to get the heart pumping in an arena like this.
Swinging neck breaker by Jane, she grabs Jaka by the neck and hauls her up to her feet. Jane hits a flurry of wild strikes finishing the combo off with a kick to the gut. Jane hits a pile driver on Jaka. Jane grabs Jaka’s ankle and DDT’s it, she locks in a leg lock and pulls on the ankle screaming. Jaka kicka Jane off with her good foot – but Jane grabs the bad ankle and drags her opponent to the corner. Jane slides out of the ring and grabs Jaka’s ankle and smashes it into the turnbuckle. Jaka screams and kicks – but Jane reaches into the ring and pulls Jaka back again, smashing her sprained ankle against the turnbuckle post.
Sting: Jane just dismantled the ankle joining of Jaka here. She can smell the injury.
Jane slides into the ring stalking her prey at this point. Jaka is using the ropes to pull herself to her feet and just as she does Jane comes rushing with a rolling thunder – flipping through the air and hitting her with her heel right between the eyes and Jaka is out cold.
Foote: DEATH MARCH! The champion hits a signature move from her set.
Jane makes the cover.
1
2
3
KICKOUT!
Sting: She almost retained – but Jaka has one hell of a huge heart.
Jane looks to The Sound of Death who nods. Jane picks Jaka up and puts her outside on the ring apron. Jane drags Jaka through hanging her legs up on the second rope for a DDT but Jaka fights back pulling the champion into the ropes. Jaka hits an uppercut, then grabs Jane by the head and walks along the ring apron with her smashing the head of Jane into the turnbuckle pad over and over. Jane falls down and Jaka slingshots over the top rope with an elbow drop.
Foote: If Jaka can stay on it here she has a chance to get the champion reeling.
Jaka climbs to the top rope now looking to put some mustard on this fucking hot dog. She leaps off with a shooting star elbow drop and nailing it perfect. Jaka gets the cover quick hooking the leg.
1
2
3
KICKOUT!
Foote: Christ already stay dead.
Jaka keep on the assault she headbutts the champion while she is on the ground. Jaka takes Jane to her feet and hits a suplex – a little unorthodox for Jaka but she’s trying to compensate for the sprained ankle. Jaka gets herself back up on the top rope coming off with a 450 splash catching Jane flush.
1
2
3
KICKOUT!!!!
Foote: NO! I can’t believe it. What does it take to keep Jane Doe down.
The New World Champion just won’t stay down. Jane cracks her jaw, twists and controtes her joints awkwardly as she gets to her feet – sniffing the air and eyeing Jaka’s bad ankle. Jaka lays strikes but they have little effect. Jaka misses with a right, as she spins around Jane kicks her in the back and then runs at Jaka dropping her with a bulldog. While Jaka is on the ground Jane picks her up by the back of the head and slams Jaka’s face into the mat over and over and over.
Sting: Jane isn’t fancy at times – but she is effective – trying to rearrange the face of Jaka.
Jane is on the top rope and Jaka gets up shaking the cobwebs loose from having her nogging cracking against the canvas over and over. Jane comes off the top hitting a twisting cross body. The Miami crowd is roaring getting behind the champion as she begins her come back. Jaka rolls over and Jane snatches her sprained ankle up and starts twisting it with a crude version of an ankle lock. Jaka screams out in pain as the champion twists on the joint.
Foote: Jesus, this crazy bitch is trying to sever the foot of Jaka live on PPV. You bastards are getting your money’s worth.
Jaka manages to somersault out of it kicking Jane toward the ropes – Jane falls between the ropes to the outside of the ring. Jaka looks to the crowd cheering at the action, she mouths the words ‘fuck’ as she does maybe the only sprint she has in her – running across the ring and driving between the ropes taking out the champ onthe ground outside. CULT chants ring out as Jaka pulls herself using the guardrail smirking.
Sting: That might be the only sprint Jaka has in her this entire match and she has to be happy she used it effectively.
Jaka manages to get Jane to the ring apron but the battles Jaka off climbing up on the apron on her own free will. Jaka joins her and the two kick and punch at one another. Jane hits an elbow forcing Jaka to grab onto the rope. Jane leaps off the apron grabbing Jaka by the back of the shoulders and pulling her down onto her knees – both them falling to the ground below.
Foote: CENOTAPH!!!
Jane throws Jaka’s limp body under the ropes – Jane holds her back for a moment but seems to readjust her vertebrae as she slides into the ring covering her opponent.
1
2
3
KICKOUT!
Sting: Jaka kicks out of Jane’s finisher!
Jaka throws a shoulder up in defiance. Jane stomps on her ankle a few times to get even – then Jane starts in a frenzy stomping all limbs and parts of Jaka’s body viciously. Jane opens her mouth as if to scream – but nothing comes out. She looks to The Sound of Death who shoots her eyes toward the top rope. She heads to the top rope and comes down with a huge stomp down onto Jaka. Jane covers quickly.
1
2
3
Foote: Well that’s all she wrote.
DING! DING! DING!
Anderson: The winner of this match and STILL NEW WORLD CHAMPION JANE DOE!!!
The crowd pops as The Sound of Death grabs the championship from ringside. As Tom Garcia raises Jane Doe’s hand she reaches out and tries to take a bit out of his tiny arm. He jerks back looking at her as The Sound of Death puts the championship over Jane’s still warm body.
Foote: What a fucking creep.
Jane and The Death Rattler walk up the ramp and as they reach the top Donnie Hopkins sneaks up behind Jane and pushes a taser into her lower back causing her to convulse and fall to the ground. Donnie kicks hera few times for good measure then looks at The Sound of Death – snatching the New World Championship from her shoulder forcing her to fall backward.
Sting: What the hell is this? Another sadistic attack from Donnie Hopkins… he just electrocuted the champion for fuck sake.
Foote: He tried everything else to get his championship what’s another fucking felony?
As Jane gets up Donnie cracks her in the head with the New World Championship. Jane’s bleeding now on the ramp and Donnie tosses the championship down on her.
Sting: What a disgusting attack by Hopkins – but at this point I’m expecting it from this sad sad man.
The Sound of Death is now by Jane checking on her as Donnie flashes the taser to the booing crowd pretend to lick it. Then he starts once again driving it into the champion, sending volts through her body again and again.
Foote: Alright… even I think that’s enough… get some security out here.
Bash Daddy, Head of CU:LT Security, grabs Donnie in a full nelson, pulling him back off Jane and forcing him to drop the taser on the ground. More smaller security guards come out to help escort Hopkins away as he is heard laughing.
Sting: I hope that Jane Don is alright.
Foote: I don’t think anything can take her out Stacy – and I think Donnie just made her angry
After a brief intermission to make sure Jane Doe didn’t suffer some sort of heart attack – which took longer than it should have because no one could find a pulse… CU:LT is back on the air.
Sting: Well we have been told that Jane Doe is fine and that a match is being worked on to settle the feud between her and Donnie Hopkins once and for all at Trash Wrestling in July. But now – down to the ring where our colleague Voodoo stands by to award Charli Crawford with her prize after winning the Ouija Board tournament earlier tonight.
CU:LT Interviewer Voodoo is in the ring, in the middle of the ring is a mantle with the Ouija board on it. Charli Crawford is with Voodoo who holds a mic up to speak.
Voodoo: Earlier tonight we saw Charli Crawford win the first ever Ouija Board Tournament. This artifact has been created with the blood of CU:LT members. So now – we will reveal what her prize is. But be warned – I’ve been told the Ouija gives you what you need – not what you want.
Crawford slowly approaches the Ouija board – she pulls the pointy thingy up and places it on the board.
Foote: I still don’t know why the fuck I signed up for this creepy ass promotion.
Crawford’s finger is gently dragged across the board until it spells out the word “Homicide”
Voodoo: It appears Crawford has earned a shot at the Double Homicide Championships.
Sting: We can only assume that will be booked for Trash Wrestling in July. Now, does she get to choose her own partner?
Crawford tries to peel her finger off the board – but she can’t it sticks there on the chip and spells out a name… she shakes her head in disbelief laughing at the situation she is in… “COGAN!”
Voodoo: It appears the board has chosen Crawford’s tag team partner and she will tag with none other than “Whole Cogan” Criag Cogan for a shot at the Double Homicide Championships.
The crowd cheers – some ironically starting a Cogan chant. Crawford’s music hits and she leaves the ring fairly unenthusiastically – likely upset she fought her ass off in a tournament only to be paired with someone who doesn’t even understand the basic concepts of professional wrestling.
Sting: Well it’s hard to say if that is a prize or some twisted punishment but Crawford will have to get Cogan in fighting shape and carry him to a tag championship.
Foote: What are you talking about – the man is serious business – earlier he dispatched a psycho clown… he might be the Van Helsing of CU:LT.
Sting: Speaking of the Double Homicide Championships that match is up next!
Sting: Well we have been told that Jane Doe is fine and that a match is being worked on to settle the feud between her and Donnie Hopkins once and for all at Trash Wrestling in July. But now – down to the ring where our colleague Voodoo stands by to award Charli Crawford with her prize after winning the Ouija Board tournament earlier tonight.
CU:LT Interviewer Voodoo is in the ring, in the middle of the ring is a mantle with the Ouija board on it. Charli Crawford is with Voodoo who holds a mic up to speak.
Voodoo: Earlier tonight we saw Charli Crawford win the first ever Ouija Board Tournament. This artifact has been created with the blood of CU:LT members. So now – we will reveal what her prize is. But be warned – I’ve been told the Ouija gives you what you need – not what you want.
Crawford slowly approaches the Ouija board – she pulls the pointy thingy up and places it on the board.
Foote: I still don’t know why the fuck I signed up for this creepy ass promotion.
Crawford’s finger is gently dragged across the board until it spells out the word “Homicide”
Voodoo: It appears Crawford has earned a shot at the Double Homicide Championships.
Sting: We can only assume that will be booked for Trash Wrestling in July. Now, does she get to choose her own partner?
Crawford tries to peel her finger off the board – but she can’t it sticks there on the chip and spells out a name… she shakes her head in disbelief laughing at the situation she is in… “COGAN!”
Voodoo: It appears the board has chosen Crawford’s tag team partner and she will tag with none other than “Whole Cogan” Criag Cogan for a shot at the Double Homicide Championships.
The crowd cheers – some ironically starting a Cogan chant. Crawford’s music hits and she leaves the ring fairly unenthusiastically – likely upset she fought her ass off in a tournament only to be paired with someone who doesn’t even understand the basic concepts of professional wrestling.
Sting: Well it’s hard to say if that is a prize or some twisted punishment but Crawford will have to get Cogan in fighting shape and carry him to a tag championship.
Foote: What are you talking about – the man is serious business – earlier he dispatched a psycho clown… he might be the Van Helsing of CU:LT.
Sting: Speaking of the Double Homicide Championships that match is up next!
Double Homicide Championships
Three Ring Barney vs Lissie Hope and Chris Page
Three Ring Barney vs Lissie Hope and Chris Page
Arctic Monkeys - The View From The Afternoon hits and the crowd cheers for one of CU:LT’s hottest acts a team that doesn’t really give a fuck if they appeal to the crowd or not – but have developed quite a following. Royston Popplewell, Chester Roosevelt and Luna Baby all march toward the ring -- Roosevelt holding the Double Homicide Championships over both shoulders.
Anderson: Now coming to the ring the Double Homicide Champions Three Ring Barney.
Foote: The undefeated Three Ring Barney – this group is a staple in CU:LT and they are gong to be around for a very long time. The last thing they want is to let these fucking mainstream fucks Hope and Page take the straps from them.
Three Ring Barney makes it to the end of the ramp and walks over to the cage door. Luna Baby and Royston Popplewell climb and taunt to the crowd packed into The FTX arena. Roosevelt goes to the outside as Popplewell and Luna Baby await their opponents.
Anderson: Now coming to the ring standing 6’4’ weighing on at 240lbs….. "Chronic" Chris Page.
Page appears on the ramp to boos from the sold out crowd as Judas by Fozzy plays him to the ring.
Sting: Chris Page hasn’t done much to win over the CU:LT fans other than steal a win from Lissie Hope in his debut and yank a title opportunity from her by naming her his partner for tonight.
Page walks down to the end of the ramp smiling – then he walks up the steps and into the ring.
Foote: Look, he picked someone he knows can go in the ring – Lissie can take that as a compliment if she wants but I know one thing is on Chris Page’s mind – himself – and adding more championships to his storied history.
The heavy synths of "You'll Miss Me When I'm Not Around" by Grimes begins. The child-like adlibs and the booming bass shakes the seats underneath each audience member. They rise to their feet in anticipation of the arrival of former four-time World Champion, "The Blackheart" Lissie Hope!
Sting: Technically she is the number one contender for the New World Championship after beating Jaka at What Happens in Vegas – Page ruined that by picking her as her partner here tonight – I wouldn’t have even bothered showing up. Lissie Hope is a better person than I.
I shot myself yesterday / got to Heaven anyway
The crowd jumps out of their seats as Grimes' continues to sing into the pre-chorus. The anticipation is growing, and the cheers start to crescendo.
If you don't bleed / then you don't die
Cross my heart / and hope to fly
Anderson: Ladies and gentlemen, from New Orleans, Louisiana... standing 5'4" and weighing 143 pounds... "THE BLACKHEART"... LISSSSSSIEEEE HOOOOOOPE!
Finally, the curtains spread and Lissie Hope emerges at the top of the entrance stage, standing for a moment and appreciating all of the cheers being levied in her direction.
If they could see me now / smiling six-feet underground
Foote: She actually should be thankful to Chris Page – he might be the one man who can carry her to championship in this company and might be savvy enough to outsmart Three Ring Barney.
She notices signs of support in the front rows, and she acknowledges those young fans with high-fives. She sprints down the ramp, sliding under the bottom rope. She bounces to her feet and raises her arms to the crowd.
Sting: The crowd is loving tonight and I know Hope doesn’t want to let them down. Maybe this is the start to her getting a shot at becoming this company’s first double champion.
You'll miss me when I'm not around
Foote: Let’s not get ahead of ourselves.
She enters the ring, wearing a cut-off "Hero" tee-shirt, revealing a black Under Armour exercise top and black and pink workout pants. She tosses the shirt into front rows, watching the fans fight over the memorabilia. Climbing the corner to acknowledge the fans, the song fades to a hush and she awaits the opening bell. She and Chris page argue for a moment – but Hope decides to start the match off.
DING! DING! DING!
Sting: Here we go the biggest tag match in CU:LT history. Two singles wrestling juggernauts up against the undefeated Three Ring Barney and it looks like Lissie Hope is going to start things off against Luna Baby.
Hope and Luna tie up – Hope gets the best early on with strikes and swings Luna to the ropes. As Luna comes back she jumps up dropkicking Lissie pushing her off balance – all while doing a backflip and landing it. She hit’s hope with hard kicks to she shin then slaps her across the mouth. Hope steps forward in anger – but only comes face to face with a superkick. Luna follows up with a standing shooting star press.
Sting: Luna off to a great start here against one half of the Action Wrestling Tag Team Champions. So Lissie is not green when it comes to tag matches… neither is Chris Page holding a tag title of his own right now – but I don’t think these two are putting their past aside easily.
Luna tags in Royston. She runs at him and wheelbarrows up his body and he releases her – Luna coming down with a leg drop across the neck of Hope as Royston follows up with a standing splash. Tom Garcia forces Luna out of the ring and leaps into position for the count.
Foote: See that is what Hope and Page are up against tonight, a nearly perfect tag team completely in sync. I don’t think we will see the same cooperation by Page and Hope and that’s going to hurt them here.
1
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3
KICKOUT!
Sting: Almost an early night and you didn’t even see Page move from the outside to break that one up.
Page shakes his head on the outside and sarcastically cheers his tag team partner on as Royston scoops her up. Hope is over the shoulder of Royston – she slides off and shoves him into the corner. Hope missile dropkicks him in the back forcing Royston chest first into the turnbuckle.
Foote: Smart by Lissie to use her speed against the big man – but once he grabs hold of her he’s going to break her in half.
Hope runs splashing Royston in the corner and hits a swinging neckbreaker as he staggers from the corner. Hope locks in a dragon sleeper pulling the much larger Royston back. Roosevelt slams the mat on the outside trying to rally Popplewell – and it works as the big man somehow bends forward taking Hope with him and slamming her to the canvas with an over the shoulder slam. Hope holds her lower back kicking and Page hold’s his hand out for a tag – Lissie takes the bait tagging him in.
Sting: No other choice but to let Chris Page have his moment.
Page steps through the ropes slowly. Royston and Page circle on another neither really making a move – the camera catching Luna yawning while standing on the ring apron. Page tries to chop the big tree down, slapping the chest of Royston with a combo of open hand and knife-edged chops. Royston lifts his boot up, parks it in the chest of Page and pushes him back to the ropes – when he comes off Royston cracks him with a big boot.
Foote: Page thought he was going to do better against the big man and well – it’s not working out the best so far.
Royston makes the tag to Luna – he lifts her up in a gorilla press and tosses her at Chris Page – surprisingly Page catches her — he spins with Luna in his arms toward his partner though – he curls Luna twice before hosting her overhead and tossing her with a fallaway slam. Page taunts flexing right in Lissie’s face as she rolls her eyes.
Foote: He’s looking pretty fit now you body shaming bitch!
Sting: Did she hit the sensitive button with you Foote? Letting yourself go?
Page’s taunting doesn’t do much for him though as Luna pulls him backward with a backstabber. Luna hits a dropkick to the face as Page gets to his knees. This time as he stands up Luna hits a wheelbarrow face crusher.
Foote: Some of these kids are out pacing ol’ Page I’ll tell ya that.
Page fights back now – he ties the arms of Luna up and throws her with a butterfly suplex. He kicks her in the head a few times as she stands to her feet then nails a cradle DDT. Page isn’t done with the assault; he grabs Luna by the back of the head bringing her up and hoists her up in a suplex – Page lets Luna’s legs drop, bounce off the ropes, and Page uses the momentum for a slingshot suplex. Page then hits the middle rope sprindboarding off with a moonsault. He covers.
Foote: The grace – the beauty.
1
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3
KICKOUT!
Sting: Not good enough.
Luna kicks out – but the ever protective Royston also yanks Page off her about the same time. Hope rushes into the ring to challenge them and all four brawl exchanging strikes until referee Tom Garcia pushes Hope out of the ring. He forces Royston out of the ring as well and as he does it Luna kicks Page right in the balls to a thunderous pop from the Miami crowd. Luna spins around Page with a tilt-a-whirl DDT spiking his head. Luna mocks her opponent hitting Page’s signature springboard moonsault on him for the pin.
Foote: The blatant disrespect from this generation!
1
2
3
KICKOUT!
Sting: Page able to get the shoulder off the canvas.
Luna tags in Royston who once again picks her up in a gorilla press – he tosses her at Page and this time she has success hitting a cross body. She gets up off the mat running across the ring suicde diving right through Lissie hope and taking her to the mat outside. Royston hoists up Page and nails a release German suplex.
Foote: Royston has a style I can really get behind – just in your face old school and he doesn’t talk much – got to love that.
Luna and Hope manage to make it back to their respective corners. Royston locks Page up with a crossface chicken wing — he’s shaking Page about – but somehow Hope is able to reach out and tag him. Royston drops Page – but takes a snap DDT. Hope just kicks away at the lower back of Popplewell. When he gets up Page and Hope hit a double suplex on him. Page goes to the outside leaving Hope and Royston one on one.
Sting: There we finally found some teamwork from Page and Hope.
Hope pushes Roystn back with a bicycle kick to the chest, his head dips a big and Lissie gets her leg up for a roundhouse kick followed with a spinning back elbow. She then spears Royston and mounts him, nailing down a flurry of punches. Hope gets up and screams in Chris Page’s face before hitting a tornado DDT on Royston sending him reeling to his corner. Luna Baby reaches out and tags his foot.
Sting: When Hope gets on a roll she gets on a roll and here she is telling Luna to fucking bring it.
The two start nailing one another with forearms. Hope tosses Luna with a belly to belly. Luna isn’t down long though she throws Hope between the ropes and follows her outside with a Sasuke special backflipping over the top rope and taking her opponent out as fans chant CULT.
Sting: Holy shit, Luna Baby is an athlete on another level. She could have ana amazing singles career ahead of her – hell each one of these members of Three Ring Barney could.
Roosevelt helps Luna pick Hope up and toss her back under the ropes. Luna is to the top rope and comes off with a double moonsault covering Hope.
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3
BREAK UP!
Sting: What a save by Luna!
Page breaks up the pin attempt and quickly gets back to the apron. Luna keeps on the attack kicking away at Hope. Lissie manages to battle back tying Luna up with underhooks and delivering knees – she tries to transition to a pedigree but Luna twists out of it. Hope yanks her back in with a Muay thai clinch and just starts laying more knees into the abdomen of Luna.
Foote: I’ll give it to hope there. It’s smart to attack the chest, stomach, abdomen of Luna Baby. She has a lot of high flying moves and those are the parts of the body she has to put the brunt of the force on.
A snap suplex from Hope takes Luna down and Lissie follows up with a Boston crab – putting Luna’s spine in a high angle. She bends and bends trying to break Luna in half. Luna reaches out to tag Royston and he nearly rips Hope’s head off with a closeline to the back of the head breaking up the submission attempt.
Sting: We just witnessed a decapitation.
Royston just fucking powerbombs Hope. He ragdolls her into a bear hug squeezing the life out of her – he shakes her around as she screams out in pain fading. Page comes in and cracks Royston in the head with punches – but the psychotic mute just keeps on taking the punches with little effect. Page finally hits a spinning back elbow that breaks the hold. Royston drops Hope but things break down as Luna enters the fray.
Foote: The referee can’t do fuck all about this.
Royston and Luna and working Page over in the corner when Lissie staggers over and spins Luna around planting her with a pedigree.
Sting: CROWN OF THORNS!!
Luna rolls out of the ring. Royston turns and eats a pedigree as well. Hope covers.
1
2
KICKOUT!!!!
Foote: A FUCKING 2 COUNT FROM HER FINISHER!!!
Royston pulls himself up with the ropes and Page kicks him in the gut and nails an angle’s wings – planting Royston down. Hope covers again and Tom Garcia makes the count.
1
2
3
KICKOUT!!!!!
Sting: And Royston kicks out of the finisher from Page.
Roosevelt is just beating the canvas as hard as he can cheering on Royston. Page and Hope nail him with a double brainbuster and pin attempt again.
Foote: Not looking good for the champions.
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3
BREAK UP!
Sting: Luna Baby out of nowhere once again.
450 from Luna Baby at the last second breaks the pin up as she lands perfect across the back of Lissie Hope. Luna ducks a closeline from Page hitting a dropkick. She nails a standing shooting star press on him and kicks Royston a few times to try to get him to come to. Page goes to kick Luna – but she keeps on rolling catching it and hitting him with a step up kick to the head. She throws Page to the ropes and hits them herself – Page ducks down though and backdrops Luna up over the top rope and into Roosevelt on the outside taking him out.
Foote: Pure veteran move there by “Chronic” Chris Page.
Page slides to the outside as the referee checks on Luna on the outside. Page grabs a chair – Royston has Lissie in the corner now hand around his throat. Page cracks Royston in the back of the head as hard as he can with the chair. Blood flows out of the back of the big man’s head as he lays motionless on the canvas. Page shrugs and tosses the chair to the outside of the ring. Hope angry grabs him by the shoulders and spins him around… Page pushes her away walking to his corner.
Sting: What int he fuck was that… this isn’t how Hope wants to win this match.
Foote: It’s the only way to keep Royston down.
Hope, clearly conflicted, doesn't want to take advantage – but her thirst for fame and gold takes over pretty quick as she hooks Royston's arms getting ready to plant him again when he hits her with a back drop. A shocked Chris Page takes a boot to the mouth. Royston tosses Lissie to the ropes and Page hits her back tagging himself in.
Sting: Looks like it's not going down as Chris Page hoped.
Luna out of no where springs off the top rope into the ring hitting a 450 DDT on Lissie Hope.
Foote: What the fuck is this.. BIG TOP!!!! Two of the biggest stars are reeling after throwing everything they had at Three Ring Barney.
Royston wraps a hand around Page's throat lifts him up and hits a chokeslam sitout powerbomb.
Sting: SILENT BLISS!!!
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3
DING! DING! DING!
Anderson: The winners of this match and STILL CU:LT DOUBLE HOMICIDE CHAMPIONS THREE RING BARNEY!
Roosevelt grabs the title belts from Huffman and raises them up in the air proudly he hands one to Luna and the other to Royston as their music plays -- prouldy making thier way to the back surpised as anyone they managed to walk away with a win.
Sting: Look at this now... Page just shoved Lissie. Made she hesitated too long after the chair shot.
Foote: She should be happy she even got a chance to team with Chris Page.
Lissie looks like she is gong to brush Page off -- but the crowd pops huge when she kicks him in the gut and plants him with a pedigree. Hope chants ring out in the arena as her music plays and she steps through the ropes.
Foote: It was oil and water... it was never going to work.
Sting: I am getting word in my headset right now that at Trash Wrestling for Grabage Humans it is going to be Lissie Hope one on one with Chris Page in possibly the biggest blockbuster match this compnay has ever booked.
Anderson: Now coming to the ring the Double Homicide Champions Three Ring Barney.
Foote: The undefeated Three Ring Barney – this group is a staple in CU:LT and they are gong to be around for a very long time. The last thing they want is to let these fucking mainstream fucks Hope and Page take the straps from them.
Three Ring Barney makes it to the end of the ramp and walks over to the cage door. Luna Baby and Royston Popplewell climb and taunt to the crowd packed into The FTX arena. Roosevelt goes to the outside as Popplewell and Luna Baby await their opponents.
Anderson: Now coming to the ring standing 6’4’ weighing on at 240lbs….. "Chronic" Chris Page.
Page appears on the ramp to boos from the sold out crowd as Judas by Fozzy plays him to the ring.
Sting: Chris Page hasn’t done much to win over the CU:LT fans other than steal a win from Lissie Hope in his debut and yank a title opportunity from her by naming her his partner for tonight.
Page walks down to the end of the ramp smiling – then he walks up the steps and into the ring.
Foote: Look, he picked someone he knows can go in the ring – Lissie can take that as a compliment if she wants but I know one thing is on Chris Page’s mind – himself – and adding more championships to his storied history.
The heavy synths of "You'll Miss Me When I'm Not Around" by Grimes begins. The child-like adlibs and the booming bass shakes the seats underneath each audience member. They rise to their feet in anticipation of the arrival of former four-time World Champion, "The Blackheart" Lissie Hope!
Sting: Technically she is the number one contender for the New World Championship after beating Jaka at What Happens in Vegas – Page ruined that by picking her as her partner here tonight – I wouldn’t have even bothered showing up. Lissie Hope is a better person than I.
I shot myself yesterday / got to Heaven anyway
The crowd jumps out of their seats as Grimes' continues to sing into the pre-chorus. The anticipation is growing, and the cheers start to crescendo.
If you don't bleed / then you don't die
Cross my heart / and hope to fly
Anderson: Ladies and gentlemen, from New Orleans, Louisiana... standing 5'4" and weighing 143 pounds... "THE BLACKHEART"... LISSSSSSIEEEE HOOOOOOPE!
Finally, the curtains spread and Lissie Hope emerges at the top of the entrance stage, standing for a moment and appreciating all of the cheers being levied in her direction.
If they could see me now / smiling six-feet underground
Foote: She actually should be thankful to Chris Page – he might be the one man who can carry her to championship in this company and might be savvy enough to outsmart Three Ring Barney.
She notices signs of support in the front rows, and she acknowledges those young fans with high-fives. She sprints down the ramp, sliding under the bottom rope. She bounces to her feet and raises her arms to the crowd.
Sting: The crowd is loving tonight and I know Hope doesn’t want to let them down. Maybe this is the start to her getting a shot at becoming this company’s first double champion.
You'll miss me when I'm not around
Foote: Let’s not get ahead of ourselves.
She enters the ring, wearing a cut-off "Hero" tee-shirt, revealing a black Under Armour exercise top and black and pink workout pants. She tosses the shirt into front rows, watching the fans fight over the memorabilia. Climbing the corner to acknowledge the fans, the song fades to a hush and she awaits the opening bell. She and Chris page argue for a moment – but Hope decides to start the match off.
DING! DING! DING!
Sting: Here we go the biggest tag match in CU:LT history. Two singles wrestling juggernauts up against the undefeated Three Ring Barney and it looks like Lissie Hope is going to start things off against Luna Baby.
Hope and Luna tie up – Hope gets the best early on with strikes and swings Luna to the ropes. As Luna comes back she jumps up dropkicking Lissie pushing her off balance – all while doing a backflip and landing it. She hit’s hope with hard kicks to she shin then slaps her across the mouth. Hope steps forward in anger – but only comes face to face with a superkick. Luna follows up with a standing shooting star press.
Sting: Luna off to a great start here against one half of the Action Wrestling Tag Team Champions. So Lissie is not green when it comes to tag matches… neither is Chris Page holding a tag title of his own right now – but I don’t think these two are putting their past aside easily.
Luna tags in Royston. She runs at him and wheelbarrows up his body and he releases her – Luna coming down with a leg drop across the neck of Hope as Royston follows up with a standing splash. Tom Garcia forces Luna out of the ring and leaps into position for the count.
Foote: See that is what Hope and Page are up against tonight, a nearly perfect tag team completely in sync. I don’t think we will see the same cooperation by Page and Hope and that’s going to hurt them here.
1
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3
KICKOUT!
Sting: Almost an early night and you didn’t even see Page move from the outside to break that one up.
Page shakes his head on the outside and sarcastically cheers his tag team partner on as Royston scoops her up. Hope is over the shoulder of Royston – she slides off and shoves him into the corner. Hope missile dropkicks him in the back forcing Royston chest first into the turnbuckle.
Foote: Smart by Lissie to use her speed against the big man – but once he grabs hold of her he’s going to break her in half.
Hope runs splashing Royston in the corner and hits a swinging neckbreaker as he staggers from the corner. Hope locks in a dragon sleeper pulling the much larger Royston back. Roosevelt slams the mat on the outside trying to rally Popplewell – and it works as the big man somehow bends forward taking Hope with him and slamming her to the canvas with an over the shoulder slam. Hope holds her lower back kicking and Page hold’s his hand out for a tag – Lissie takes the bait tagging him in.
Sting: No other choice but to let Chris Page have his moment.
Page steps through the ropes slowly. Royston and Page circle on another neither really making a move – the camera catching Luna yawning while standing on the ring apron. Page tries to chop the big tree down, slapping the chest of Royston with a combo of open hand and knife-edged chops. Royston lifts his boot up, parks it in the chest of Page and pushes him back to the ropes – when he comes off Royston cracks him with a big boot.
Foote: Page thought he was going to do better against the big man and well – it’s not working out the best so far.
Royston makes the tag to Luna – he lifts her up in a gorilla press and tosses her at Chris Page – surprisingly Page catches her — he spins with Luna in his arms toward his partner though – he curls Luna twice before hosting her overhead and tossing her with a fallaway slam. Page taunts flexing right in Lissie’s face as she rolls her eyes.
Foote: He’s looking pretty fit now you body shaming bitch!
Sting: Did she hit the sensitive button with you Foote? Letting yourself go?
Page’s taunting doesn’t do much for him though as Luna pulls him backward with a backstabber. Luna hits a dropkick to the face as Page gets to his knees. This time as he stands up Luna hits a wheelbarrow face crusher.
Foote: Some of these kids are out pacing ol’ Page I’ll tell ya that.
Page fights back now – he ties the arms of Luna up and throws her with a butterfly suplex. He kicks her in the head a few times as she stands to her feet then nails a cradle DDT. Page isn’t done with the assault; he grabs Luna by the back of the head bringing her up and hoists her up in a suplex – Page lets Luna’s legs drop, bounce off the ropes, and Page uses the momentum for a slingshot suplex. Page then hits the middle rope sprindboarding off with a moonsault. He covers.
Foote: The grace – the beauty.
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3
KICKOUT!
Sting: Not good enough.
Luna kicks out – but the ever protective Royston also yanks Page off her about the same time. Hope rushes into the ring to challenge them and all four brawl exchanging strikes until referee Tom Garcia pushes Hope out of the ring. He forces Royston out of the ring as well and as he does it Luna kicks Page right in the balls to a thunderous pop from the Miami crowd. Luna spins around Page with a tilt-a-whirl DDT spiking his head. Luna mocks her opponent hitting Page’s signature springboard moonsault on him for the pin.
Foote: The blatant disrespect from this generation!
1
2
3
KICKOUT!
Sting: Page able to get the shoulder off the canvas.
Luna tags in Royston who once again picks her up in a gorilla press – he tosses her at Page and this time she has success hitting a cross body. She gets up off the mat running across the ring suicde diving right through Lissie hope and taking her to the mat outside. Royston hoists up Page and nails a release German suplex.
Foote: Royston has a style I can really get behind – just in your face old school and he doesn’t talk much – got to love that.
Luna and Hope manage to make it back to their respective corners. Royston locks Page up with a crossface chicken wing — he’s shaking Page about – but somehow Hope is able to reach out and tag him. Royston drops Page – but takes a snap DDT. Hope just kicks away at the lower back of Popplewell. When he gets up Page and Hope hit a double suplex on him. Page goes to the outside leaving Hope and Royston one on one.
Sting: There we finally found some teamwork from Page and Hope.
Hope pushes Roystn back with a bicycle kick to the chest, his head dips a big and Lissie gets her leg up for a roundhouse kick followed with a spinning back elbow. She then spears Royston and mounts him, nailing down a flurry of punches. Hope gets up and screams in Chris Page’s face before hitting a tornado DDT on Royston sending him reeling to his corner. Luna Baby reaches out and tags his foot.
Sting: When Hope gets on a roll she gets on a roll and here she is telling Luna to fucking bring it.
The two start nailing one another with forearms. Hope tosses Luna with a belly to belly. Luna isn’t down long though she throws Hope between the ropes and follows her outside with a Sasuke special backflipping over the top rope and taking her opponent out as fans chant CULT.
Sting: Holy shit, Luna Baby is an athlete on another level. She could have ana amazing singles career ahead of her – hell each one of these members of Three Ring Barney could.
Roosevelt helps Luna pick Hope up and toss her back under the ropes. Luna is to the top rope and comes off with a double moonsault covering Hope.
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BREAK UP!
Sting: What a save by Luna!
Page breaks up the pin attempt and quickly gets back to the apron. Luna keeps on the attack kicking away at Hope. Lissie manages to battle back tying Luna up with underhooks and delivering knees – she tries to transition to a pedigree but Luna twists out of it. Hope yanks her back in with a Muay thai clinch and just starts laying more knees into the abdomen of Luna.
Foote: I’ll give it to hope there. It’s smart to attack the chest, stomach, abdomen of Luna Baby. She has a lot of high flying moves and those are the parts of the body she has to put the brunt of the force on.
A snap suplex from Hope takes Luna down and Lissie follows up with a Boston crab – putting Luna’s spine in a high angle. She bends and bends trying to break Luna in half. Luna reaches out to tag Royston and he nearly rips Hope’s head off with a closeline to the back of the head breaking up the submission attempt.
Sting: We just witnessed a decapitation.
Royston just fucking powerbombs Hope. He ragdolls her into a bear hug squeezing the life out of her – he shakes her around as she screams out in pain fading. Page comes in and cracks Royston in the head with punches – but the psychotic mute just keeps on taking the punches with little effect. Page finally hits a spinning back elbow that breaks the hold. Royston drops Hope but things break down as Luna enters the fray.
Foote: The referee can’t do fuck all about this.
Royston and Luna and working Page over in the corner when Lissie staggers over and spins Luna around planting her with a pedigree.
Sting: CROWN OF THORNS!!
Luna rolls out of the ring. Royston turns and eats a pedigree as well. Hope covers.
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KICKOUT!!!!
Foote: A FUCKING 2 COUNT FROM HER FINISHER!!!
Royston pulls himself up with the ropes and Page kicks him in the gut and nails an angle’s wings – planting Royston down. Hope covers again and Tom Garcia makes the count.
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KICKOUT!!!!!
Sting: And Royston kicks out of the finisher from Page.
Roosevelt is just beating the canvas as hard as he can cheering on Royston. Page and Hope nail him with a double brainbuster and pin attempt again.
Foote: Not looking good for the champions.
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BREAK UP!
Sting: Luna Baby out of nowhere once again.
450 from Luna Baby at the last second breaks the pin up as she lands perfect across the back of Lissie Hope. Luna ducks a closeline from Page hitting a dropkick. She nails a standing shooting star press on him and kicks Royston a few times to try to get him to come to. Page goes to kick Luna – but she keeps on rolling catching it and hitting him with a step up kick to the head. She throws Page to the ropes and hits them herself – Page ducks down though and backdrops Luna up over the top rope and into Roosevelt on the outside taking him out.
Foote: Pure veteran move there by “Chronic” Chris Page.
Page slides to the outside as the referee checks on Luna on the outside. Page grabs a chair – Royston has Lissie in the corner now hand around his throat. Page cracks Royston in the back of the head as hard as he can with the chair. Blood flows out of the back of the big man’s head as he lays motionless on the canvas. Page shrugs and tosses the chair to the outside of the ring. Hope angry grabs him by the shoulders and spins him around… Page pushes her away walking to his corner.
Sting: What int he fuck was that… this isn’t how Hope wants to win this match.
Foote: It’s the only way to keep Royston down.
Hope, clearly conflicted, doesn't want to take advantage – but her thirst for fame and gold takes over pretty quick as she hooks Royston's arms getting ready to plant him again when he hits her with a back drop. A shocked Chris Page takes a boot to the mouth. Royston tosses Lissie to the ropes and Page hits her back tagging himself in.
Sting: Looks like it's not going down as Chris Page hoped.
Luna out of no where springs off the top rope into the ring hitting a 450 DDT on Lissie Hope.
Foote: What the fuck is this.. BIG TOP!!!! Two of the biggest stars are reeling after throwing everything they had at Three Ring Barney.
Royston wraps a hand around Page's throat lifts him up and hits a chokeslam sitout powerbomb.
Sting: SILENT BLISS!!!
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DING! DING! DING!
Anderson: The winners of this match and STILL CU:LT DOUBLE HOMICIDE CHAMPIONS THREE RING BARNEY!
Roosevelt grabs the title belts from Huffman and raises them up in the air proudly he hands one to Luna and the other to Royston as their music plays -- prouldy making thier way to the back surpised as anyone they managed to walk away with a win.
Sting: Look at this now... Page just shoved Lissie. Made she hesitated too long after the chair shot.
Foote: She should be happy she even got a chance to team with Chris Page.
Lissie looks like she is gong to brush Page off -- but the crowd pops huge when she kicks him in the gut and plants him with a pedigree. Hope chants ring out in the arena as her music plays and she steps through the ropes.
Foote: It was oil and water... it was never going to work.
Sting: I am getting word in my headset right now that at Trash Wrestling for Grabage Humans it is going to be Lissie Hope one on one with Chris Page in possibly the biggest blockbuster match this compnay has ever booked.
The Main Motherfuckin' Event
SNUFF Championship
Lightube Scaffold Match
Throw your opponent off the scaffold through a pile of light tubes below to win. Light tubes will be hung from the sky along the sides of the scaffold for each opponent to use.
JD Driftwood vs Justin York
SNUFF Championship
Lightube Scaffold Match
Throw your opponent off the scaffold through a pile of light tubes below to win. Light tubes will be hung from the sky along the sides of the scaffold for each opponent to use.
JD Driftwood vs Justin York
Foote: Well it is the moment all you sick sick fuckers have been waiting for…
"Symbol of Nevermore" By Superjoint Ritual hits and JD Driftwood walks out from behind the curtain and stomps toward the ring – the roof blows off the place in The FTX Arena for the home state boy.
Anderson: And the challenger, coming to the ring standing 6’0 and weighing 300lbs, from Key West, FLORIDAAAAA…. He is the SNUFF CHAMPION…. FLORIDA’S SICKEST SONNNNNN JD DRIFTWOODDDD!
Foote: Oh fuck yes give the man his flowers.
The camera pans around the crowd in a complete frenzy – then on on the front row at JD’s dad – the legend himself Cutter Driftwood. He looks as unpleased as ever and just tips a full pinto toward the camera.
Foote: I’ve seen JD’s daddy work and if Driftwood wants to make Cutter proud tonight he’s got his work cut out for him. JD said he’s have it done in 5 mins – I don’t don’t know if it'll even take that long for Cutter to finish his beer.
JD gets to the scaffold and hands hit title over to senior referee JJ Huffman outside the ring as he climbs the 30 feet up the wood and metal structure. There are light tubes hanging from strings in the sky. Piles of the damned things on top of tables outside the ring below. Several light tubes are done up in bundles and piled into the ring as high as the top ropes. JD raises his hands to the ovation as he waits for Justin York.
Sting: York has an impressive debut against Mason St. Criox – but JD Driftwood is a whole other animal.
Anderson: Now coming to the ring… from Toronto Canada, weighing in at 1897 lbs and standing 5’11” ‘Casino Kid’ Justin York.
The lights in the arena go completely dark as 'One for the money by Escape the Fate' hits the speakers. Only a spotlight hits the very top of the stage as you see a man standing with his back turned the back of the shirt reads 'Casino Kid'. Pyro goes up into the air from both sides of the stage as all lights then come on and Justin York turns and begins his way down the ramp, taunting fans as he goes.
Foote: Well it’s do or die tonight kid.
York climbs to the top of the scaffold and looks across at JD Driftwood – the crowd boos over his theme as it fades out.
Sting: He is in enemy territory tonight.
DING! DING! DING!
JD Driftwood and Justin York are about 30 feet above the ring on the scaffold now looking at one another, each of them armed with two light tubes each. “DRIFTWOOD IS GONNA KILL YOU” chants ring out in the arena as the man himself holds the two tubes up over head head and walks toward York. They meet in the middle and JD smirks, he tells York to kick things off sticking his head out. York takes the invitation gladly and pops a tube across the skull of JD sending rivers of blood down his face right away – the previous scar tissue giving way easy. Driftwood delivers a shot of his own smashing a tube over the head of York. York lets out a scream and hits JD with the second tube. He throws the broken shards to the ground below. JD then cracks his second tube over the skull of York. York reaches out and grabs a tube that is handing and smashes that one on JD. JD reaches out and grabs a tube hanging from the sky and snaps it over Yorks head. They do this to eahcother about 10 times each as the crowd pops with each blow – shards of glass and that fucked up powered inside flouresent light tubes is just raining int he arena.
Foote: It’s snowing glass in Florida – and these sick fucks are loving it.
As the haze clears JD and York’s faces are just masks of blood. York sticks his tounge out licking the blood on his chin as he stpes chest to fucking chest with the death match leagend that is JD Driftwood. JD headbutts York – York is staggered back – but comes back with a hurricanrana pinging JD off the wood scaffolding. JD hits some gut shots then a body slam onto the plywood structure for York to feel there is no give.
Sting: I almost worry one of these men could come crashing right through the plywood up there.
Foote: Nah, she’s pretty well reinforced trust me. They are going to have to send one another off the side if they want to win this one – be a long night before they dent that wood.
York catches JD off guard with a floating tornado DDT. York grabs a light tube out of the sky and smashes the center over JD’s head, he then takes the two halves in either hand and slams them together sandwiching JD’s face in the middle.
Sting: Innovative move by York – he might just take to this hardcore shit.
York tries to toss JD off to top but Driftwood stops dead an has York up on his shoulder now – he drops him back with a Samoan drop. JD hits a gut buyers on York, then a headlock bulldog. JD picks up a broken light tube. He holds it up in the air as the blood thirsty Florida crowd chants “Carve him up.”
Foote: Well he better carve him up quick because we just passed that five minute mark. JD said it was all it was going to take to beat York here tonight.
JD takes the sharp end of the broken light tube and poke, poke, pokes the head of York causing him to spurt blood down onto the pile of light tubes below. York crawls along the scaffold looking for some way to escape.
Sting: There is no where to go – and you aren’t going to be as pretty after this one Justin.
York grabs a full tube which has fallen onto the scaffold and when JD grabs him from behind to try and toss his ass York swings his backward and nails the crown of Driftwood’s skull knocking him backwards. JD comes forward and his hit with a Spanish fly. York grabs about seven tubes which are hanging from the sky on lines and piles them up. York put’s JD’s head between his legs and hits a Canadian destroyer piledriving Driftwood’s head down through the stack of tubes.
Foote: Holy fuck… a filpping piledriver spot I have seen a million times – guess the light tubes are a nice touch.
York tries to kick JD’s knocked out body off the side of the structure – but JD comes to and starts laying punches on York. JD grabs another tube from the sky, he walks over to York and puts the light tube between his legs and lifts up, cracking it over York’s groin. JD keeps a broken piece of tube and wraps it up in a chicken wing around York’s face before pulling him backward with a suplex.
Sting: Nothing fancy about that – it just gets the job done and I have to think that’s something Cutter taught him.
JD doesn’t let up – he hits a stump puller piledriver on York driving his head into the glass covered board. JD tosses York toward the edge and York just hangs on dangling above the pile of light tubes below. JD stomps at his hands, but York uses the metal on the scaffold as monkey bars out pacing JD and swinging himself up and back onto the platform.
Sting: Now that’s fancy…
JD charges and swallows an enzuigiri – York shakes his head trying to get some of the blood out of his eyes. York grabs another tube and throws it at JD who catches in on instinct. York spins with a heel kick, blasting the glass into JD’s face and nailing the side of his face with a foot. JD falls face first onto the board.
Foote: This kid could win the championship right here – dethrone the deathmatch king in his hometown.
York picks JD up. York sets him up for the go to hell and nails it clean. The SNUFF Champion swings drunkenly then falls face first bloody down on the base of the scaffold bloody and covered in light tube glass. The crowd boos as Driftwood shows no signs of life.
York starts kicking JD in the ribs forcing him to the edge of the scaffold. JD reaches down and grabs a tube hanging from the side of the scaffold and smashes it to bits over York’s head. JD places a tube between him and York and shoulder thrusts breaking it between them – then hits a few more vicious shoulder thrusts letting go and both men fall to their knees.
Sting: Listen to this crowd they are eating it up. I can barely hear what Foote is saying thank God.
Foote: What? This crowd is pure electric for this one little lady and my hearin’ is fuckin’ shot.
JD grabs York by the back of the head and bashes his face down into the glass covered board supporting them both over 30 feet in the air. Pieces of glass are stuck to York’s bloody face – but he slaps JD Driftwood agrily and starts to stand up both men face to face as York hits a forearm – the crowd boos loudly – he kicks JD with a roundhouse – but Florida’s Sickest Son doesn’t tumble off the scaffold instead he delivers a headbutt to York’s face. JD runs and nails a closeline turning York inside out – crashing down with a thud hard on the elevated board. JD smirks at York’s limb body – hoists him up on his shoulders – and tosses him off the fucking scaffold with a death valley driver.
Foote: HOLY FUCK JUSTIN YORK IS FUCKING DEAD!!!
York does two and a half flips before crashing through piles of light tubes below – 30 feet down to the ring canvas through the debris. The crowd is chanting JD Driftwood’s name as he raises his hands up on top of the scaffold not even looking at the carnage below.
DING! DING! DING!
Anderson: The WINNER of this match and STILL SNUFF CHAMPION JD DRIFTWOOD!!!
Foote: What a damn bloodbath and what a fucking show. These two gave the Florida fans exactly what they wanted and needed a big ol’ beautiful dose of violence at its finest. I’m glad to see York give the thumbs up there as the medics dig his body out from under that pile of tubing.
Sting: I thought York was going to walk away with this and change the landscape of CU:LT, but this is the shit JD Driftwood does in his sleep. We will see you next month in Boston when we bring you Trash Wrestling For Garbage Humans.
JD looks back out to the crowd now – that front row seat where his dad was sitting – empty – along with the beer glass Cutter Driftwood was chugging from. JD’s smile fades as he shakes his head — he snatches the SNUFF Championship from JJ Huffman as he scales the scaffold to give it to him. JD hoists the title in the air screaming into the hardcam as the crowd chants his name and the scene faces to black.
Foote: Thanks for fucking joining us.
"Symbol of Nevermore" By Superjoint Ritual hits and JD Driftwood walks out from behind the curtain and stomps toward the ring – the roof blows off the place in The FTX Arena for the home state boy.
Anderson: And the challenger, coming to the ring standing 6’0 and weighing 300lbs, from Key West, FLORIDAAAAA…. He is the SNUFF CHAMPION…. FLORIDA’S SICKEST SONNNNNN JD DRIFTWOODDDD!
Foote: Oh fuck yes give the man his flowers.
The camera pans around the crowd in a complete frenzy – then on on the front row at JD’s dad – the legend himself Cutter Driftwood. He looks as unpleased as ever and just tips a full pinto toward the camera.
Foote: I’ve seen JD’s daddy work and if Driftwood wants to make Cutter proud tonight he’s got his work cut out for him. JD said he’s have it done in 5 mins – I don’t don’t know if it'll even take that long for Cutter to finish his beer.
JD gets to the scaffold and hands hit title over to senior referee JJ Huffman outside the ring as he climbs the 30 feet up the wood and metal structure. There are light tubes hanging from strings in the sky. Piles of the damned things on top of tables outside the ring below. Several light tubes are done up in bundles and piled into the ring as high as the top ropes. JD raises his hands to the ovation as he waits for Justin York.
Sting: York has an impressive debut against Mason St. Criox – but JD Driftwood is a whole other animal.
Anderson: Now coming to the ring… from Toronto Canada, weighing in at 1897 lbs and standing 5’11” ‘Casino Kid’ Justin York.
The lights in the arena go completely dark as 'One for the money by Escape the Fate' hits the speakers. Only a spotlight hits the very top of the stage as you see a man standing with his back turned the back of the shirt reads 'Casino Kid'. Pyro goes up into the air from both sides of the stage as all lights then come on and Justin York turns and begins his way down the ramp, taunting fans as he goes.
Foote: Well it’s do or die tonight kid.
York climbs to the top of the scaffold and looks across at JD Driftwood – the crowd boos over his theme as it fades out.
Sting: He is in enemy territory tonight.
DING! DING! DING!
JD Driftwood and Justin York are about 30 feet above the ring on the scaffold now looking at one another, each of them armed with two light tubes each. “DRIFTWOOD IS GONNA KILL YOU” chants ring out in the arena as the man himself holds the two tubes up over head head and walks toward York. They meet in the middle and JD smirks, he tells York to kick things off sticking his head out. York takes the invitation gladly and pops a tube across the skull of JD sending rivers of blood down his face right away – the previous scar tissue giving way easy. Driftwood delivers a shot of his own smashing a tube over the head of York. York lets out a scream and hits JD with the second tube. He throws the broken shards to the ground below. JD then cracks his second tube over the skull of York. York reaches out and grabs a tube that is handing and smashes that one on JD. JD reaches out and grabs a tube hanging from the sky and snaps it over Yorks head. They do this to eahcother about 10 times each as the crowd pops with each blow – shards of glass and that fucked up powered inside flouresent light tubes is just raining int he arena.
Foote: It’s snowing glass in Florida – and these sick fucks are loving it.
As the haze clears JD and York’s faces are just masks of blood. York sticks his tounge out licking the blood on his chin as he stpes chest to fucking chest with the death match leagend that is JD Driftwood. JD headbutts York – York is staggered back – but comes back with a hurricanrana pinging JD off the wood scaffolding. JD hits some gut shots then a body slam onto the plywood structure for York to feel there is no give.
Sting: I almost worry one of these men could come crashing right through the plywood up there.
Foote: Nah, she’s pretty well reinforced trust me. They are going to have to send one another off the side if they want to win this one – be a long night before they dent that wood.
York catches JD off guard with a floating tornado DDT. York grabs a light tube out of the sky and smashes the center over JD’s head, he then takes the two halves in either hand and slams them together sandwiching JD’s face in the middle.
Sting: Innovative move by York – he might just take to this hardcore shit.
York tries to toss JD off to top but Driftwood stops dead an has York up on his shoulder now – he drops him back with a Samoan drop. JD hits a gut buyers on York, then a headlock bulldog. JD picks up a broken light tube. He holds it up in the air as the blood thirsty Florida crowd chants “Carve him up.”
Foote: Well he better carve him up quick because we just passed that five minute mark. JD said it was all it was going to take to beat York here tonight.
JD takes the sharp end of the broken light tube and poke, poke, pokes the head of York causing him to spurt blood down onto the pile of light tubes below. York crawls along the scaffold looking for some way to escape.
Sting: There is no where to go – and you aren’t going to be as pretty after this one Justin.
York grabs a full tube which has fallen onto the scaffold and when JD grabs him from behind to try and toss his ass York swings his backward and nails the crown of Driftwood’s skull knocking him backwards. JD comes forward and his hit with a Spanish fly. York grabs about seven tubes which are hanging from the sky on lines and piles them up. York put’s JD’s head between his legs and hits a Canadian destroyer piledriving Driftwood’s head down through the stack of tubes.
Foote: Holy fuck… a filpping piledriver spot I have seen a million times – guess the light tubes are a nice touch.
York tries to kick JD’s knocked out body off the side of the structure – but JD comes to and starts laying punches on York. JD grabs another tube from the sky, he walks over to York and puts the light tube between his legs and lifts up, cracking it over York’s groin. JD keeps a broken piece of tube and wraps it up in a chicken wing around York’s face before pulling him backward with a suplex.
Sting: Nothing fancy about that – it just gets the job done and I have to think that’s something Cutter taught him.
JD doesn’t let up – he hits a stump puller piledriver on York driving his head into the glass covered board. JD tosses York toward the edge and York just hangs on dangling above the pile of light tubes below. JD stomps at his hands, but York uses the metal on the scaffold as monkey bars out pacing JD and swinging himself up and back onto the platform.
Sting: Now that’s fancy…
JD charges and swallows an enzuigiri – York shakes his head trying to get some of the blood out of his eyes. York grabs another tube and throws it at JD who catches in on instinct. York spins with a heel kick, blasting the glass into JD’s face and nailing the side of his face with a foot. JD falls face first onto the board.
Foote: This kid could win the championship right here – dethrone the deathmatch king in his hometown.
York picks JD up. York sets him up for the go to hell and nails it clean. The SNUFF Champion swings drunkenly then falls face first bloody down on the base of the scaffold bloody and covered in light tube glass. The crowd boos as Driftwood shows no signs of life.
York starts kicking JD in the ribs forcing him to the edge of the scaffold. JD reaches down and grabs a tube hanging from the side of the scaffold and smashes it to bits over York’s head. JD places a tube between him and York and shoulder thrusts breaking it between them – then hits a few more vicious shoulder thrusts letting go and both men fall to their knees.
Sting: Listen to this crowd they are eating it up. I can barely hear what Foote is saying thank God.
Foote: What? This crowd is pure electric for this one little lady and my hearin’ is fuckin’ shot.
JD grabs York by the back of the head and bashes his face down into the glass covered board supporting them both over 30 feet in the air. Pieces of glass are stuck to York’s bloody face – but he slaps JD Driftwood agrily and starts to stand up both men face to face as York hits a forearm – the crowd boos loudly – he kicks JD with a roundhouse – but Florida’s Sickest Son doesn’t tumble off the scaffold instead he delivers a headbutt to York’s face. JD runs and nails a closeline turning York inside out – crashing down with a thud hard on the elevated board. JD smirks at York’s limb body – hoists him up on his shoulders – and tosses him off the fucking scaffold with a death valley driver.
Foote: HOLY FUCK JUSTIN YORK IS FUCKING DEAD!!!
York does two and a half flips before crashing through piles of light tubes below – 30 feet down to the ring canvas through the debris. The crowd is chanting JD Driftwood’s name as he raises his hands up on top of the scaffold not even looking at the carnage below.
DING! DING! DING!
Anderson: The WINNER of this match and STILL SNUFF CHAMPION JD DRIFTWOOD!!!
Foote: What a damn bloodbath and what a fucking show. These two gave the Florida fans exactly what they wanted and needed a big ol’ beautiful dose of violence at its finest. I’m glad to see York give the thumbs up there as the medics dig his body out from under that pile of tubing.
Sting: I thought York was going to walk away with this and change the landscape of CU:LT, but this is the shit JD Driftwood does in his sleep. We will see you next month in Boston when we bring you Trash Wrestling For Garbage Humans.
JD looks back out to the crowd now – that front row seat where his dad was sitting – empty – along with the beer glass Cutter Driftwood was chugging from. JD’s smile fades as he shakes his head — he snatches the SNUFF Championship from JJ Huffman as he scales the scaffold to give it to him. JD hoists the title in the air screaming into the hardcam as the crowd chants his name and the scene faces to black.
Foote: Thanks for fucking joining us.
