CULT S02E02
The scene opens from the parking lot of the area. A white tent with hundreds underneath, the preacher at the front. The same TV preacher we say at the opening of Killdozer Cup. Father Jim Tippet grins with unnaturally white teeth as the camera zooms in on the richest man in religion.
Tippet: Hello saints and sinners alike. I have been gathering every lost soul I can making their way into the arena tonight. The devil does not belong in Tennessee and Casanova English has invited him in the veil of a travelling circus he calls professional wrestling. Men and women tearing at others' flesh. Tonight… tonight they have two lovers battling to nail one another to a cross. SHAMEEE!!!
Tippet slams his hand against the podium, the crowd cheating shame along with him – their collars so tight it makes their furious faces even more red.
Tippet: Tonight this company comes into the land of Christ and mocks our Lord’s death. They are going to have lovers… lovers should be headed for the altar before Christ… NOT driving NAILS into the palms of their hands for a false idol… a hunk of gold… a mere possession. It is SICK!
Tippet grinds his teeth as he continues to preach to the crowd under the white tent outside the Thompson-Boling Arena.
Tippet: They want to expose our children to this violence… to these unnatural ideas. You have vampires, satanists, hitmen, villains galore… all of it celebrated behind these brick walls. They have created a temple of chaos… spewing sickness. Tonight they will ignite each other with the flames of hell and become aroused with the scent of smouldering flesh.
Tippet holds a bible up in his hand…
Tippet: The cultist play with the name of heaven my father… and we must pray.
Suddenly the sound of horns, the ground rumbling slightly as famous drag queen Dan Yell has her huge blonde wig, full face of glam ticking out the hatch of the tank. She’s wearing a camo number, ass padded and wiener tucked. She screams from a mega phone.
Yell: YASSSS QUEEEENNN!!! HEAR MY WAR CRY!!!!
The tank stops short of the tent and people filter out as the Tippet is interrupted in his prayer. He walks out to see this drag queen manning a tank and he almost vomits up the American dream. He shakes with anger.
Yell: Of all the depravity you saw you will see at Heaven Sent this public expression of art, me dressing outside my supposed gender where anyone under the 18 may see me could very well land me in prison. So it looks like I won’t be around to host the show all night… but I promised Mr. English my presence would be felt. And while he might be a sick man to some… it’s not as sick as….
The barrel of the tank twitches and stops right in Tippet, locking him in its sights.
Yell: YOU! You want to shut down professional wrestling… you want to see drag destroyed… YOU want to suck the fucking fun out of the world so then maybe your little god awful book of fables might interest someone born in the internet generation. WELL I AM HERE TO ANNOUNCE WAR HUNNY! I will defend CULT and CULT will defend the rights of people like me… a sanctuary for all the people you hate. You know what I think? I think your black and white world needs a little color! It needs to be livened up. And now Mr. Tippet is done getting read, it’s time we turn this parking lot into a true celebration.
The roar of jet engines is heard above and not long after you see a big black air carrier cutting through the clouds gaining momentum to near warp speed. The raging religious folk in the parking lot of the arena look up into the sky and as they do all the colors of the rainbow fall from the plane and layers the entire tent – and people below – all in paint. The crowd starts to wiggle as if they are demons who were just hit with holy water. Some try to scrape it from their face. The camera pans back around to Dan Yell who cracks a Bud Light and sips it winking with her glittery eye shadow.
Yell: Well I hope everyone feels better now! You know what Mr. Tippet.
The barrel follows Tippet around as he rips his suit coat off, throwing it on the ground. He is wiping rainbow paint from his face. The barrel of the tank stops right on the preacher.
Yell: Have a free tee…
A rolled up shirt blasts from the barrel and cracks Tippet right between the eyes breaking his nose. He throws the bible up in the air and it lands right in a rainbow puddle. The camera zooms in on it as the scene transitions.
Tippet: Hello saints and sinners alike. I have been gathering every lost soul I can making their way into the arena tonight. The devil does not belong in Tennessee and Casanova English has invited him in the veil of a travelling circus he calls professional wrestling. Men and women tearing at others' flesh. Tonight… tonight they have two lovers battling to nail one another to a cross. SHAMEEE!!!
Tippet slams his hand against the podium, the crowd cheating shame along with him – their collars so tight it makes their furious faces even more red.
Tippet: Tonight this company comes into the land of Christ and mocks our Lord’s death. They are going to have lovers… lovers should be headed for the altar before Christ… NOT driving NAILS into the palms of their hands for a false idol… a hunk of gold… a mere possession. It is SICK!
Tippet grinds his teeth as he continues to preach to the crowd under the white tent outside the Thompson-Boling Arena.
Tippet: They want to expose our children to this violence… to these unnatural ideas. You have vampires, satanists, hitmen, villains galore… all of it celebrated behind these brick walls. They have created a temple of chaos… spewing sickness. Tonight they will ignite each other with the flames of hell and become aroused with the scent of smouldering flesh.
Tippet holds a bible up in his hand…
Tippet: The cultist play with the name of heaven my father… and we must pray.
Suddenly the sound of horns, the ground rumbling slightly as famous drag queen Dan Yell has her huge blonde wig, full face of glam ticking out the hatch of the tank. She’s wearing a camo number, ass padded and wiener tucked. She screams from a mega phone.
Yell: YASSSS QUEEEENNN!!! HEAR MY WAR CRY!!!!
The tank stops short of the tent and people filter out as the Tippet is interrupted in his prayer. He walks out to see this drag queen manning a tank and he almost vomits up the American dream. He shakes with anger.
Yell: Of all the depravity you saw you will see at Heaven Sent this public expression of art, me dressing outside my supposed gender where anyone under the 18 may see me could very well land me in prison. So it looks like I won’t be around to host the show all night… but I promised Mr. English my presence would be felt. And while he might be a sick man to some… it’s not as sick as….
The barrel of the tank twitches and stops right in Tippet, locking him in its sights.
Yell: YOU! You want to shut down professional wrestling… you want to see drag destroyed… YOU want to suck the fucking fun out of the world so then maybe your little god awful book of fables might interest someone born in the internet generation. WELL I AM HERE TO ANNOUNCE WAR HUNNY! I will defend CULT and CULT will defend the rights of people like me… a sanctuary for all the people you hate. You know what I think? I think your black and white world needs a little color! It needs to be livened up. And now Mr. Tippet is done getting read, it’s time we turn this parking lot into a true celebration.
The roar of jet engines is heard above and not long after you see a big black air carrier cutting through the clouds gaining momentum to near warp speed. The raging religious folk in the parking lot of the arena look up into the sky and as they do all the colors of the rainbow fall from the plane and layers the entire tent – and people below – all in paint. The crowd starts to wiggle as if they are demons who were just hit with holy water. Some try to scrape it from their face. The camera pans back around to Dan Yell who cracks a Bud Light and sips it winking with her glittery eye shadow.
Yell: Well I hope everyone feels better now! You know what Mr. Tippet.
The barrel follows Tippet around as he rips his suit coat off, throwing it on the ground. He is wiping rainbow paint from his face. The barrel of the tank stops right on the preacher.
Yell: Have a free tee…
A rolled up shirt blasts from the barrel and cracks Tippet right between the eyes breaking his nose. He throws the bible up in the air and it lands right in a rainbow puddle. The camera zooms in on it as the scene transitions.
Pyro, every color of the rainbow goes off one after another bang, bang, bang, pop, mother fucking pop… creating a smooth transition from the opening scene. The music of Celopatrick blast from the speakers of the Thompson-Boling Arena… a frenzied crowd amped up from the second episode of CULT:TV.
Foote: What a night it has been so far Sting. We have a new blood loving TV executive running CULT:TV and in the second episode we saw Datura become the Classic Champion… though English will have an announcement on that later tonight.
Sting: Strader is also the NEW SNUFF CHAMPION after beating Chester Roosevelt in a Taipei Deathmatch. But now we are on to the main card. Heaven Sent will see the return of JD Driftwood as he takes on JJ Slayer. The Walkers have their first Double Homicide title defence against Heartkillers and the returning Strike to Kill.
Foote: We will also decide who get a shot at the New World Championship at All Hell’s Acoming in an inferno battle royal. Speaking of the title – two lovers – will have to nail one another to a cross to claim the New World Championship. Lissie Hope defends against Johnny Bacchus.
The scene cuts to the ring where interviewer and analysts Karl Childers is in the middle of the ring. He brings the mic up to his lips, cutting the roar from the crowd.
Childers: I have been informed by Casanova English that Datura has suffered an injury and will be out of action for the next month. Fenix will get her rematch for the championship at Bodies in the Bayou.
Sting: Wow, that’s a shame Datura has put in the work to become CULT Classic Champion, but Fenix was a little too much for her in retrospect… she damaged that knee throughout the entire match.
Foote: That’s the name of the game… endurance. I think Fenix should remain as champion… Datura couldn’t even stand after the bout with Fenix. She was ready for another battle by the end of it.
The theme of The Walkers hits and the camera pans down to the ring.
Foote: What a night it has been so far Sting. We have a new blood loving TV executive running CULT:TV and in the second episode we saw Datura become the Classic Champion… though English will have an announcement on that later tonight.
Sting: Strader is also the NEW SNUFF CHAMPION after beating Chester Roosevelt in a Taipei Deathmatch. But now we are on to the main card. Heaven Sent will see the return of JD Driftwood as he takes on JJ Slayer. The Walkers have their first Double Homicide title defence against Heartkillers and the returning Strike to Kill.
Foote: We will also decide who get a shot at the New World Championship at All Hell’s Acoming in an inferno battle royal. Speaking of the title – two lovers – will have to nail one another to a cross to claim the New World Championship. Lissie Hope defends against Johnny Bacchus.
The scene cuts to the ring where interviewer and analysts Karl Childers is in the middle of the ring. He brings the mic up to his lips, cutting the roar from the crowd.
Childers: I have been informed by Casanova English that Datura has suffered an injury and will be out of action for the next month. Fenix will get her rematch for the championship at Bodies in the Bayou.
Sting: Wow, that’s a shame Datura has put in the work to become CULT Classic Champion, but Fenix was a little too much for her in retrospect… she damaged that knee throughout the entire match.
Foote: That’s the name of the game… endurance. I think Fenix should remain as champion… Datura couldn’t even stand after the bout with Fenix. She was ready for another battle by the end of it.
The theme of The Walkers hits and the camera pans down to the ring.
Anderson: Now coming to the ring. They are The Double Homicide Championships. The team of Abby and Will Walker… THE WALKERS!
The Walkers cheery theme plays through the area as the screen cuts to various shots of the family members smiling and performing various actions while their names pop up one by one. As the theme plays out and a final logo reading "THE WALKERS" is plastered over a group picture of the family, the feed cuts to the ring where Abby and Will are standing the Double Homicide Championship around their waist and waving at the rest of the family who are positioned at the top of the stage cheering them on.
Sting: Mom and dad looking on as they tasked the kids with the first title defense.
Foote: This next team freaks me the fuck out.
The lights blink out, darkness sweeping the arena as World's End Valentine begins, the regal strings echoing. The build begins, the music shifts to malevolent chiptune, as a pair of red spotlights beam down upon each side of the entryway. Haru Niijima stands to the left, Kaede Iruma to the right, their eyes forward. Niijima scowls at the crowd, while Iruma gives them a playful smirk. The two turn to one another, approaching the aisle and meeting for an explosive fist bump.
Anderson: Now coming to the ring the team of Haru Niijima and Kaede Iruma… THE HEARTKILLERS!
The crowd jeers as they begin the walk to the ring, Haru giving the fans a disinterested look as Kaede teases high-fives before pulling her hand back at the last second. Haru takes the ring steps to the apron, while Kaede dashes and slides under the bottom rope. They climb adjacent turnbuckles, Haru bowing her head in a moment of pre-match meditation. Kaede flicks her ponytails with a pair of middle fingers, before hopping back to the canvas to await the opening bell.
Sting: The Heartkillers have put on some amazing matches since they debuted, but have yet to win as a tag team. Let’s hope this next team also has better luck than their first run with the company.
As the lights in the arena begin to dim, Finished I Ain't by Ghostpoet begins to play through the arena as purple strobe lights shine from the stage and emerging from the back are Strike 2 Kill. Both men stand on the top of the entrance ramp with a look of ruthlessness about them, they look at each other, nodding heads and fist bumping, before making their way down to the ring. Lingering behind them is their Manager, Gregory Murphy, who has a slimy grin on his face as he swaggers down the entrance ramp after them.
Anderson: And their opponents…at a combined weight of 351 lbs… STRIKE 2 KILL!
Once they reach the edge of the ring, both men leap onto the apron and climbing onto the top ropes of either side of the nearest turnbuckles, posing for the fans who applaud in appreciation.
Sting: It looks like it is going to be Heartkillers and S2K who will kick the action off.
DING! DING! DING!
Kaede, Haru, Abby, Will, Liam, Miles
Haru and Liam are in the ring as their respective partners make it to the outside. The strikes are quick with each connecting shin kicks, chops and forearms. Haru to the ropes, she comes running at Liam and he leapfrogs over her. Haru spins around with a backfist but Liam ducks. Liam with a kick to the gut – but Haru catches the leg and twits taking him down with dragon screw. Haru holds onto the ankle and kicks the back of Liam’s thigh. She tags in Kaede as she stretches Liam's leg over the second rope and Kaede comes in stomping it. Liam kicks and rolls back toward his corner. As Kaede helps Liam to his feet he manages to snap her head back with a European uppercut. Liam with a lariat out of nowhere turning Kaede inside out. Liam tags in Miles and they hit a double dropkick on Kaede. The pair toss Kaede to the ropes and nail a pop-up roundhouse kick taking her out of the air. Haru protests on the outside as Miles makes the cover for a two while Liam goes to the outside.
Sting: Fast action kicking this off. I am impressed with S2K early in this one.
Foote: The Heartkillers are going to rip out Miles and Liam’s heart by the end of this and eat them… and you know what that wouldn’t be surprising with what has been going on on CULT:TV lately.
Kaede fights back with gut shots and forearms to Miles. She stomps his feet then hits the ropes coming back with a tilt-a-whirl headscissors. Miles' head falls between the ropes and Haru nearly kicks it off his shoulders from the apron. Kaede stabilizes Miles and hits a straight jacket neckbreaker. Kaede tags in Haru. Miles tags in Liam. Liam and Miles go for a double hip toss and Haru lands on her feet, she ducks a closeline from them both and Kaede hits the ropes and Haru jumps in the ring as the pair clip Strike 2 Kill with a stereo dropkicks. As Liam falls backward Will tags his back. Miles is left to take a double brainbuster from Heartkillers. A double suplex now from Heartkillers on Liam. Will bolts in the ring and tackles Haru.
Foote: Finally The Walkers getting involved in this one.
Sting: With his hard these tag teams have been hitting they should maybe stay on the apron a little longer.
Will takes Haru back down with a bicycle kick. Kaede comes into the ring to try and break it up, but Abby cuts her off with a leg lariat. A DDT from Will as Abby heads back to the apron. A suplex now by Will. He kicks a seated Haru in the back of the head – she eats it and makes her way to her feet getting in Will’s face. The pair exchange rights and lefts and Haru hits a running crossbody taking Will to the canvas. Haru with a discuss forearm smash – Haru locks Will up in an inverted figure four leglock – she gets it in deep but Abby drops a leg across the back of her head. Abby steps back on the apron as Kaede gives chase.
Sting: The champions in control now… the division sucked up to this point and now we are seeing some real competition.
Foote: Ah, fuck where are the big burly face painted dudes? We need more of that type of representation. It’s an underserved community.
Liam tags in off of Kaede. Liam tosses Will to the corner he hits a running high kick to the corner whilst Miles delivers an enziguri from the apron. Liam tags Miles in. Enzuigiri kick by Richardson and a dragon suplex by Watson on Will and the cover is made.
1
2
KICKOUT!
Foote: S2K with all the hits tonight.
Will tags out to Abby. Miles and Abby meet in the middle of the ring Abby all the sudden start lighting Miles up with kicks, she pelts him to his knees and then kicks hid head clean off. Liam comes at Abby and she nails a spinning wheel kick. She tags out to Will who nails curb stomp on Miles and goes for the pin.
1
2
3!!!?????
Sting: CLOSE! The champions are doing all they can to hold on to the titles.
Liam makes the tag with Miles and nails a suplex on Will. Liam takes Will down with a double leg and lays strikes. Liam with a huge forearm. Liam tosses Will to the corner and Abby tags in. She runs at Laim but it spin around with a sitout spinebuster into a pin for a long two count. The crowd is getting behind S2K and Liam pulls Abby up – tagging in Miles in the process. Superkick by richardson and a Close Your Eyes and Count to Fuck by Watson.
Foote: TIME TO KILL!!!!
Miles makes the cover on Abby… before a three can be counter Kaede breaks it up. Haru gets in the ring and starts exchanging with Liam. All of a sudden the ring is filled by all six competitors. The Walkers stand tall for a moment hitting superkicks on all their opponents. Will and Abby shrug and hug in the ring as a cue for “applause” appears on the big screen. Their celebration doesn’t last long though as Liam and Miles nail the Double Homicide Champions in the back of the head with a pair of superkicks of their own. The crowd pops for S2K as Will falls out of the ring. Abby is crawling to the ropes and Haru tags her to make herself legal. Kaede stomps the back of Abby’s head into the apron causing her to tumble to the outside.
Sting: The champions both on the outside.
Haru hit Miles with a Yakuza kick. Kaede hops in the ring and they hang Miles up in the air for a period before dropping him down with a double brain buster. Liam comes in to intercept he clocks Kaede with a forearm then nails a belly to belly but Haru is waiting for him. A main skull kick knocks Liam out cold. Miles spins Haru around – Kaede spins Miles around – straight jacket DDT from Kaede. Haru covers Miles.
1
2
3!!!
Foote: Just like that!
DING! DING! DING!
Sting: What a face paced match and it’s so sad that Heartkillers didn’t even have to pin The Walkers to walk away with the championships.
Foote: I have a feeling at All Hell’s Acoming we are going to see a rematch with these two teams.
Anderson: The WINNERS of this match and NEW DOUBLE HOMICIDE CHAMPIONS... HEARTKILLERS!
Abby and Will side in the ring just as the bell rings. The crowd boos as JJ Huffman passes the Double Homicide Championships to Heartkillers who hoist them up in the air. Heartkillers slap the straps and point at The Walkers as they step through the ropes and make their way to the back. The camera zooms in on the sad brother sister duo.
The Walkers cheery theme plays through the area as the screen cuts to various shots of the family members smiling and performing various actions while their names pop up one by one. As the theme plays out and a final logo reading "THE WALKERS" is plastered over a group picture of the family, the feed cuts to the ring where Abby and Will are standing the Double Homicide Championship around their waist and waving at the rest of the family who are positioned at the top of the stage cheering them on.
Sting: Mom and dad looking on as they tasked the kids with the first title defense.
Foote: This next team freaks me the fuck out.
The lights blink out, darkness sweeping the arena as World's End Valentine begins, the regal strings echoing. The build begins, the music shifts to malevolent chiptune, as a pair of red spotlights beam down upon each side of the entryway. Haru Niijima stands to the left, Kaede Iruma to the right, their eyes forward. Niijima scowls at the crowd, while Iruma gives them a playful smirk. The two turn to one another, approaching the aisle and meeting for an explosive fist bump.
Anderson: Now coming to the ring the team of Haru Niijima and Kaede Iruma… THE HEARTKILLERS!
The crowd jeers as they begin the walk to the ring, Haru giving the fans a disinterested look as Kaede teases high-fives before pulling her hand back at the last second. Haru takes the ring steps to the apron, while Kaede dashes and slides under the bottom rope. They climb adjacent turnbuckles, Haru bowing her head in a moment of pre-match meditation. Kaede flicks her ponytails with a pair of middle fingers, before hopping back to the canvas to await the opening bell.
Sting: The Heartkillers have put on some amazing matches since they debuted, but have yet to win as a tag team. Let’s hope this next team also has better luck than their first run with the company.
As the lights in the arena begin to dim, Finished I Ain't by Ghostpoet begins to play through the arena as purple strobe lights shine from the stage and emerging from the back are Strike 2 Kill. Both men stand on the top of the entrance ramp with a look of ruthlessness about them, they look at each other, nodding heads and fist bumping, before making their way down to the ring. Lingering behind them is their Manager, Gregory Murphy, who has a slimy grin on his face as he swaggers down the entrance ramp after them.
Anderson: And their opponents…at a combined weight of 351 lbs… STRIKE 2 KILL!
Once they reach the edge of the ring, both men leap onto the apron and climbing onto the top ropes of either side of the nearest turnbuckles, posing for the fans who applaud in appreciation.
Sting: It looks like it is going to be Heartkillers and S2K who will kick the action off.
DING! DING! DING!
Kaede, Haru, Abby, Will, Liam, Miles
Haru and Liam are in the ring as their respective partners make it to the outside. The strikes are quick with each connecting shin kicks, chops and forearms. Haru to the ropes, she comes running at Liam and he leapfrogs over her. Haru spins around with a backfist but Liam ducks. Liam with a kick to the gut – but Haru catches the leg and twits taking him down with dragon screw. Haru holds onto the ankle and kicks the back of Liam’s thigh. She tags in Kaede as she stretches Liam's leg over the second rope and Kaede comes in stomping it. Liam kicks and rolls back toward his corner. As Kaede helps Liam to his feet he manages to snap her head back with a European uppercut. Liam with a lariat out of nowhere turning Kaede inside out. Liam tags in Miles and they hit a double dropkick on Kaede. The pair toss Kaede to the ropes and nail a pop-up roundhouse kick taking her out of the air. Haru protests on the outside as Miles makes the cover for a two while Liam goes to the outside.
Sting: Fast action kicking this off. I am impressed with S2K early in this one.
Foote: The Heartkillers are going to rip out Miles and Liam’s heart by the end of this and eat them… and you know what that wouldn’t be surprising with what has been going on on CULT:TV lately.
Kaede fights back with gut shots and forearms to Miles. She stomps his feet then hits the ropes coming back with a tilt-a-whirl headscissors. Miles' head falls between the ropes and Haru nearly kicks it off his shoulders from the apron. Kaede stabilizes Miles and hits a straight jacket neckbreaker. Kaede tags in Haru. Miles tags in Liam. Liam and Miles go for a double hip toss and Haru lands on her feet, she ducks a closeline from them both and Kaede hits the ropes and Haru jumps in the ring as the pair clip Strike 2 Kill with a stereo dropkicks. As Liam falls backward Will tags his back. Miles is left to take a double brainbuster from Heartkillers. A double suplex now from Heartkillers on Liam. Will bolts in the ring and tackles Haru.
Foote: Finally The Walkers getting involved in this one.
Sting: With his hard these tag teams have been hitting they should maybe stay on the apron a little longer.
Will takes Haru back down with a bicycle kick. Kaede comes into the ring to try and break it up, but Abby cuts her off with a leg lariat. A DDT from Will as Abby heads back to the apron. A suplex now by Will. He kicks a seated Haru in the back of the head – she eats it and makes her way to her feet getting in Will’s face. The pair exchange rights and lefts and Haru hits a running crossbody taking Will to the canvas. Haru with a discuss forearm smash – Haru locks Will up in an inverted figure four leglock – she gets it in deep but Abby drops a leg across the back of her head. Abby steps back on the apron as Kaede gives chase.
Sting: The champions in control now… the division sucked up to this point and now we are seeing some real competition.
Foote: Ah, fuck where are the big burly face painted dudes? We need more of that type of representation. It’s an underserved community.
Liam tags in off of Kaede. Liam tosses Will to the corner he hits a running high kick to the corner whilst Miles delivers an enziguri from the apron. Liam tags Miles in. Enzuigiri kick by Richardson and a dragon suplex by Watson on Will and the cover is made.
1
2
KICKOUT!
Foote: S2K with all the hits tonight.
Will tags out to Abby. Miles and Abby meet in the middle of the ring Abby all the sudden start lighting Miles up with kicks, she pelts him to his knees and then kicks hid head clean off. Liam comes at Abby and she nails a spinning wheel kick. She tags out to Will who nails curb stomp on Miles and goes for the pin.
1
2
3!!!?????
Sting: CLOSE! The champions are doing all they can to hold on to the titles.
Liam makes the tag with Miles and nails a suplex on Will. Liam takes Will down with a double leg and lays strikes. Liam with a huge forearm. Liam tosses Will to the corner and Abby tags in. She runs at Laim but it spin around with a sitout spinebuster into a pin for a long two count. The crowd is getting behind S2K and Liam pulls Abby up – tagging in Miles in the process. Superkick by richardson and a Close Your Eyes and Count to Fuck by Watson.
Foote: TIME TO KILL!!!!
Miles makes the cover on Abby… before a three can be counter Kaede breaks it up. Haru gets in the ring and starts exchanging with Liam. All of a sudden the ring is filled by all six competitors. The Walkers stand tall for a moment hitting superkicks on all their opponents. Will and Abby shrug and hug in the ring as a cue for “applause” appears on the big screen. Their celebration doesn’t last long though as Liam and Miles nail the Double Homicide Champions in the back of the head with a pair of superkicks of their own. The crowd pops for S2K as Will falls out of the ring. Abby is crawling to the ropes and Haru tags her to make herself legal. Kaede stomps the back of Abby’s head into the apron causing her to tumble to the outside.
Sting: The champions both on the outside.
Haru hit Miles with a Yakuza kick. Kaede hops in the ring and they hang Miles up in the air for a period before dropping him down with a double brain buster. Liam comes in to intercept he clocks Kaede with a forearm then nails a belly to belly but Haru is waiting for him. A main skull kick knocks Liam out cold. Miles spins Haru around – Kaede spins Miles around – straight jacket DDT from Kaede. Haru covers Miles.
1
2
3!!!
Foote: Just like that!
DING! DING! DING!
Sting: What a face paced match and it’s so sad that Heartkillers didn’t even have to pin The Walkers to walk away with the championships.
Foote: I have a feeling at All Hell’s Acoming we are going to see a rematch with these two teams.
Anderson: The WINNERS of this match and NEW DOUBLE HOMICIDE CHAMPIONS... HEARTKILLERS!
Abby and Will side in the ring just as the bell rings. The crowd boos as JJ Huffman passes the Double Homicide Championships to Heartkillers who hoist them up in the air. Heartkillers slap the straps and point at The Walkers as they step through the ropes and make their way to the back. The camera zooms in on the sad brother sister duo.
Earlier today.
The lighting in the parking garage adjacent to the Thompson-Boling Arena is dim and the air is dense with the aroma of piss and tobacco spit. A gentleman in a CU:LT t-shirt, assigned to drive the primarily-Japanese-speaking competitor to and from her points of interest, waits patiently as Junko Souma removes her bags from the trunk of the rental car.
CU:LT Handler: All good?
Junko nods and he shuts the trunk. He uses the fob to lock the vehicle and the horn beeps abruptly, the noise echoing throughout the garage. Junko walks toward the elevator that will take them down to the ground level. As she approaches and prepares to push the button, she realizes that the handler isn't with her. There's a sound of keys hitting the ground several feet back. She looks over her shoulder and sees the handler... lifted at least two feet off the ground by his throat.
KILROY.
Already in his gear, fully painted, he holds the handler up with one hand. Junko turns and allows her eyes to trail from the handler's rapidly-turning-purple face, down KILROY's muscular arm, to his twisted and painted face. The handler stops gurgling and KILROY drops him to the pavement, limp.
KILROY: You seeee, the VOID… is the PENALTY for standing between me... and Junko Souma.
Junko drops her bags and looks around for something to defend herself. KILROY takes a step forward, putting his hands up as if he's attempting to soothe her.
KILROY: You're looking for a weapon?! First you humiliate me in the UK and now you want to resort to, to, to, to WEAPONS?! That won't be necessary.
He takes another step forward.
KILROY: For me.
He lurches forward and attempts to grab her but she ducks underneath him and lays eyes on a nearby maintenance ladder. He turns and pursues her. She leaps onto the ladder and then flies off of it, meeting him halfway and wrapping her legs around his waist. She peppers his face with right hands, ruining the paint beneath his eye before he grunts and ragdolls her violently against a nearby concrete pillar! She lands hard and doesn't move.
KILROY: Just like that... it's over. I have killed Junko Souma, ME! KILROY!
He kneels down and twirls her hair between his fingers.
KILROY: Your fight is over, you little-
She coughs and her eyes flutter open. He sneers and palms her entire head, pushing it back against the pillar hard. She grunts and slumps over onto her side. He approaches a nearby vehicle and punches the glass out of the driver's side door. The live crowd witnessing this footage groans as blood pours from his fist. He unlocks the car and gets in the driver's seat, effortlessly ripping the cover off the steering column with one hand, then hot wiring the car! It cranks up and he revs the engine as the radio comes to life, blaring "Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go!" He nods in the affirmative.
KILROY: This will do. Goodbye, Junko Souma.
As he hums along with the song, he decides to look up, expecting her to still be in his line of sight, seated against the pillar-- but she's not! Continuing to rev the engine, he looks confused... until she Dukes of Hazzards through the window, kicking him in the face on her way to straddling him and catching a set of keys that falls from the visor! She allows the keys to slip through her fingers and begins punching him repeatedly in the face! He flails about wildly, grunting with every blow until one of his limbs accidentally throws the vehicle into drive while the other causes the driver's seat to recline! Trying to push her off of him, his foot hits the gas and the car launches into the nearby pillar... CAUSING THE AIRBAG TO DEPLOY AT JUNKO'S BACK, LAUNCHING HER INTO THE BACKSEAT IN AN UNCONSCIOUS HEAP!
KILROY: No! No, no, no!
Smoke is billowing from underneath the hood as the driver's side door opens and KILROY falls out. He pushes himself up to his feet and looks in the backseat. She's not moving at all.
KILROY: Not like this.
He slowly brings a hand up to his mouth, shocked at the turn of events.
KILROY: Junko… Souma… was supposed to be MYYYY kill--
He slams the car door shut and then kicks it, leaving a huge boot print.
KILROY: --not yours.
He turns and punches the driver's side mirror off.
KILROY: NOT YOURS!
He points at himself.
KILROY: MINE! KILROY’s!
He punches the windshield, spider-webbing it.
KILROY: KILROY! KILROY! KILROY!
He looks around as though he's expecting someone, anyone at all, to join him in chanting his name. He nods as though he hears those people and then looks at the vehicle.
KILROY: While it paaaains me to hide such… a wonderful trophy, I’d better hide it; I wouldn’t want some nosey security chumps finding what’s left of her. In a perfect world, she would remain visible in her eterrrrrnal slumber as an example of what happens to those who disrespect KILROY.
With little fanfare, he puts the vehicle in neutral and pushes it next to a couple of nearby trash cans. He removes a single bag of garbage and places it against the windshield, then picks up some nearby sticks and debris from the ground and throws it on the hood. He smiles evilly.
KILROY: The inbred, piss-slurping hillbillies of Knoxville, Alabama will NEVER find Junko Souma now. Let that be a lesson to you, Junko… Souma: seatbelts save lives!
His smile is extremely brief; he sighs deeply... a sense of relief now that the woman who dared to slight him has been brutally, finally vanquished. He turns and leaves, disappearing into the shadows. Several long seconds pass as the camera focuses on the... hidden vehicle next to the trash cans. The fluorescent lights overhead flicker and a woman walks into the shot, clad in black. The woman opens the car door and struggles to pull Junko free, lying her on the ground. The camera zooms in, revealing hints of orange attire beneath the black hoodie. The woman leaves something next to Junko and then walks away, vanishing between two cars and not reemerging. Junko coughs and covers her face with both hands before rolling over and placing her hand on the item that the woman left.
She mutters in Japanese.
Junko Souma: < What the fuck-- >
A single cherry blossom on a small stick, dripping black. Junko lets it fall back to the ground, then rolls over as the footage abruptly ends.
The lighting in the parking garage adjacent to the Thompson-Boling Arena is dim and the air is dense with the aroma of piss and tobacco spit. A gentleman in a CU:LT t-shirt, assigned to drive the primarily-Japanese-speaking competitor to and from her points of interest, waits patiently as Junko Souma removes her bags from the trunk of the rental car.
CU:LT Handler: All good?
Junko nods and he shuts the trunk. He uses the fob to lock the vehicle and the horn beeps abruptly, the noise echoing throughout the garage. Junko walks toward the elevator that will take them down to the ground level. As she approaches and prepares to push the button, she realizes that the handler isn't with her. There's a sound of keys hitting the ground several feet back. She looks over her shoulder and sees the handler... lifted at least two feet off the ground by his throat.
KILROY.
Already in his gear, fully painted, he holds the handler up with one hand. Junko turns and allows her eyes to trail from the handler's rapidly-turning-purple face, down KILROY's muscular arm, to his twisted and painted face. The handler stops gurgling and KILROY drops him to the pavement, limp.
KILROY: You seeee, the VOID… is the PENALTY for standing between me... and Junko Souma.
Junko drops her bags and looks around for something to defend herself. KILROY takes a step forward, putting his hands up as if he's attempting to soothe her.
KILROY: You're looking for a weapon?! First you humiliate me in the UK and now you want to resort to, to, to, to WEAPONS?! That won't be necessary.
He takes another step forward.
KILROY: For me.
He lurches forward and attempts to grab her but she ducks underneath him and lays eyes on a nearby maintenance ladder. He turns and pursues her. She leaps onto the ladder and then flies off of it, meeting him halfway and wrapping her legs around his waist. She peppers his face with right hands, ruining the paint beneath his eye before he grunts and ragdolls her violently against a nearby concrete pillar! She lands hard and doesn't move.
KILROY: Just like that... it's over. I have killed Junko Souma, ME! KILROY!
He kneels down and twirls her hair between his fingers.
KILROY: Your fight is over, you little-
She coughs and her eyes flutter open. He sneers and palms her entire head, pushing it back against the pillar hard. She grunts and slumps over onto her side. He approaches a nearby vehicle and punches the glass out of the driver's side door. The live crowd witnessing this footage groans as blood pours from his fist. He unlocks the car and gets in the driver's seat, effortlessly ripping the cover off the steering column with one hand, then hot wiring the car! It cranks up and he revs the engine as the radio comes to life, blaring "Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go!" He nods in the affirmative.
KILROY: This will do. Goodbye, Junko Souma.
As he hums along with the song, he decides to look up, expecting her to still be in his line of sight, seated against the pillar-- but she's not! Continuing to rev the engine, he looks confused... until she Dukes of Hazzards through the window, kicking him in the face on her way to straddling him and catching a set of keys that falls from the visor! She allows the keys to slip through her fingers and begins punching him repeatedly in the face! He flails about wildly, grunting with every blow until one of his limbs accidentally throws the vehicle into drive while the other causes the driver's seat to recline! Trying to push her off of him, his foot hits the gas and the car launches into the nearby pillar... CAUSING THE AIRBAG TO DEPLOY AT JUNKO'S BACK, LAUNCHING HER INTO THE BACKSEAT IN AN UNCONSCIOUS HEAP!
KILROY: No! No, no, no!
Smoke is billowing from underneath the hood as the driver's side door opens and KILROY falls out. He pushes himself up to his feet and looks in the backseat. She's not moving at all.
KILROY: Not like this.
He slowly brings a hand up to his mouth, shocked at the turn of events.
KILROY: Junko… Souma… was supposed to be MYYYY kill--
He slams the car door shut and then kicks it, leaving a huge boot print.
KILROY: --not yours.
He turns and punches the driver's side mirror off.
KILROY: NOT YOURS!
He points at himself.
KILROY: MINE! KILROY’s!
He punches the windshield, spider-webbing it.
KILROY: KILROY! KILROY! KILROY!
He looks around as though he's expecting someone, anyone at all, to join him in chanting his name. He nods as though he hears those people and then looks at the vehicle.
KILROY: While it paaaains me to hide such… a wonderful trophy, I’d better hide it; I wouldn’t want some nosey security chumps finding what’s left of her. In a perfect world, she would remain visible in her eterrrrrnal slumber as an example of what happens to those who disrespect KILROY.
With little fanfare, he puts the vehicle in neutral and pushes it next to a couple of nearby trash cans. He removes a single bag of garbage and places it against the windshield, then picks up some nearby sticks and debris from the ground and throws it on the hood. He smiles evilly.
KILROY: The inbred, piss-slurping hillbillies of Knoxville, Alabama will NEVER find Junko Souma now. Let that be a lesson to you, Junko… Souma: seatbelts save lives!
His smile is extremely brief; he sighs deeply... a sense of relief now that the woman who dared to slight him has been brutally, finally vanquished. He turns and leaves, disappearing into the shadows. Several long seconds pass as the camera focuses on the... hidden vehicle next to the trash cans. The fluorescent lights overhead flicker and a woman walks into the shot, clad in black. The woman opens the car door and struggles to pull Junko free, lying her on the ground. The camera zooms in, revealing hints of orange attire beneath the black hoodie. The woman leaves something next to Junko and then walks away, vanishing between two cars and not reemerging. Junko coughs and covers her face with both hands before rolling over and placing her hand on the item that the woman left.
She mutters in Japanese.
Junko Souma: < What the fuck-- >
A single cherry blossom on a small stick, dripping black. Junko lets it fall back to the ground, then rolls over as the footage abruptly ends.
Anderson: The following contest is a Tennessee Deathmatch… that means the first person to be knocked out or unable to get back to their feet before a ten count will lose this match. First coming to the ring… he is a former CULT Classic Champion… JJ SLAYER!
“All Eyes On You” by Smash Into Pieces begins to play as JJ Slayer makes his way onto the entrance ramp.
Sting: This man has had a mean streak since debuting. He has beat top stars and taken years off the lives of others.
Foote: But still… he is calling out the baddest mother fucker in the yard and I think he is going to get bit.
After a brief pause to yell towards the cheering crowd Slayer rushes down the ramp, sliding into the ring under the bottom rope. Once in the ring, Slayer moves to his corner to await the start of the bout.
Sting: I hope he is ready for this…
We cut to outside the Thompson Boiling arena, where the sounds of a roaring engine can be heard pulling up the building. The fans that are outside waiting go completely nuts as the lifted, cherry red 73’ Ford F250 hauls ass up to the doors of the building - almost taking out a few fans in the process. Skirting to a break, the truck sits idly for a few seconds revving up it’s engine before JD Driftwood opens up the door and hops down. The fans instantly lose it in a mix of vile boos and drunken cheers. JD fucking screamed out at them, reeling them up as he cracked open a tallboy of busch light and slammed that motherfucker before crushing it onto his forehead. He spits out some of the beer in a a mist over the audience.
JD Driftwood: Y’ALL MOTHERFUCKERS READY TO SEE ME FUCKIN’ KILL A BITCH?
They roar back with excitement and bloodlust as JD positions himself in front of the doors of the building, looking out over his audience with a pissed off, yet seemingly satisfied snarl on his lips. He nods his head as some fans start to chant “ KILL! KILLER! KILL! KILL! KILLER! KILL!”
JD Driftwood: Y’all fuckin’ know exactly what I’m about to fuckin’ do! You think ol’ diaper rash JJ, got shit on me? Motherfucker ain’t even got a daddy to wipe his own fuckin’ ass, but he want to call out the baddest motherfucker to ever step foot inside a god damn ring? STUPID! Kids fuckin’ stupid! And you know what I do to dumb motherfuckin’ bitches? I fuck em!
With that he smashes his arms back through the doors of the arena and enters, his match was up next and JD wasn’t wasting any time as he made his way through the arenas, the camera following him as he pushed staff members out of the way, talked shit, and just in general made a way path to the gorilla position. As he makes his way to the curtain you can hear the first strums of “ Mean Motherfucker Blues” by Angry Johnny and the Killbillies starting to play.
Foote: A moment these fans have been waiting months for. Ol’ JD is stomping his muddy boots right back to the top of the card.
“I woke up one morning and I kicked my dog
I beat my neighbors head in with a big maple log
And I called his big fat hairy wife a big fat hairy slob
I GOT THE BLUES, THE MEAN MOTHERFUCKER!”
Anderson: Now coming to the ring making his CULT return, former SNUFF Champion, former New World Champion, Florida’s Sickest Son… JD FUCKING DRIFTWOOD!
And with that lyric, JD pushes through the curtain banging his fuckin’ chest like a madman as the audience erupts! JD Driftwood, back in a CULT Arena after months, back in a ring, this is the kind of shit that he lived for. He yells out at the audience, giving them the finger and threatening their livelihoods as he makes his way down to the ring, he slaps hands out of his face that want a high-five and spits in the directions of babies, this man didn’t give no fucks and he was here for one reason, and that was to put JJ Slayer down.
“I was doing ninety and I heard that siren wail
Cop pulls me over, says he's taking me to jail
I said "Look here pig, I think you bеtter think again"
And I pumped five in his belly
Put thе last one in his brain
I HAD THE BLUES, THE MEAN MOTHERFUCKER”
Sting: This crowd is going insane. This is why English opened up the check books and made JD white trash rich.
Getting to the ring, JD pulls himself onto the apron, and spins so he can look out at his audience, the sweat already dripping down his face as his scowl grows larger. The closer he got to the moment, the angry he became as he threw up the metal horns and then smacked the side of his face a few times before entering the ring. Once in the ring he stomped all around it, like a dog marking it’s territory, pissed off and swearing, waiting for this motherfucker to begin.
DING! DING! DING!
Foote: Let’s fucking get it.
JJ and JD meet in the middle of the ring and just start beating the absolute piss out of one another. After slugging eachother’s skulls all to fuck they start to exchange forearms to the face. JD hits JJ, JJ hits JD, JD fires back – JJ returns fire himself. JJ against the ropes and back with a big forearm that staggers JD. JD stiffens his upper lip – hits the ropes and nails a huge forearm of his own causing Slayer to stagger. JD uses the opening to light up the former CULT Classic Champion with chops to the chest – he has JJ in the corner and goes for a massive chop. Slayer moves out of the way rolling to the middle of the ring. Driftwood’s hand just pings off the turnbuckle. Slayer comes back with a corner splash – Driftwood staggers from the corner and Slayer comes with a big closeline to get the first take down of the match.
Sting: Two big boys slapping meat. You have to love to see it.
Foote: I love two juicy boys slamming each other around a squared circle.
JD isn’t down for long – he’s up and slugging with Slyer again. JD’s arms get hooked as he throws wild strikes and Slayer slams him to the canvas with a full nelson slam. The back og JD’s head bounces off the canvas, but he’s back to his feet asking for more and Slyer body slams him. Driftwood slams his fits against the canvas and is up again, jawing at Slayer. Slayer now with a snap suplex – he wastes no time pulling JD back up by his head and throws the former New World Champion to the ropes – on the rebound Slayer nails a pop-up powerbomb.
Foote: Slayer now wiping his boot along the face of JD.
Sting: The man kind of is trash… I mean…
Slayer pulls JD up and the bastard spits mucus right between his eyes and rakes them. When Slayer spins around Driftwood slams him with a backdrop. Driftwood follows up dropping a knee across the bridge of Slayer’s nose. Driftwood keeps it old school dropping a forearm now down on the head of Slayer before stomping him – using the rope for leverage at a point.
Driftwood: Fuck this pussy! Fuck you!
JD screams at the Tennessee crowd spitting into it as Slayer rolls to the outside. JD runs to the outside of the ring – the crowd pops as it looks like he is about to leap but he stops dead and flips everyone in the arena off.
Foote: I’ve missed this man. He makes wrestling look like an art form.
Sting: An abstract one maybe.
Driftwood has a chair in his hand he pulled from under the ring and he smashes it across the back of Slayer – Slayer on his hands and knees now crawling and JD wacks him with the chair again. Slayer goes belly to the ground and does a push up – but JD forces him back to the ground with another thud of the chair. Driftwood tosses it aside and stalks his opponent. JD pulls slayer up, but Slayer gets some elbows into his beer swollen gut. Slayer slams Driftwoods face against the steps – over and over – punch drunk JD swings at Slayer but he is whipped into the guardrail spilling beer and popcorn from the hands of patrons. Slayer steps on JD’s head pushing down on it harder using the guardrail. Slayer pulls JD – he nails a gutwrench suplex. Slayer pulls JD up by the head then slams his face down over and over again on the ring steps. Slayer pulls JD’s head up once more and slowly pushes it into the edge of the metal steps. Slayer then pulls JD’s face on the sharp edge splitting him wide open.
Foote: Slayer warned us we were going to see a different side of him in this match.
Sting: He was worried about the violence of this match if it were to take place on CULT:TV – but truth be told after seeing the ears of thousands of people bleed I think it’s rated R at least.
Slayer puts a bloody Driftwood on his shoulders and Death Valley Drivers him right into the sharp edges of the ring steps. Referee Tom Garcia starts the ten count as Slayer grabs a water bottle and chugs the contents. The ref gets to a seven count before Driftwood gets up to his feet. Slayer picks JD up into a military press and then Samoan drops him across the guard rail dumping the bloody sack of ass into the front row. Slayer grabs JD by the arms and pulls them through the rail – he pulls them both dragging Driftwood’s face right into the bars of the railing.
Foote: Slayer doing his best to make Driftwood uglier and tougher by the end of the night.
Sting: Slayer is trying to stomp out Driftwood’s legacy. There has been a lot of new faces since he left the company.
Driftwood climbs over the railing and snorts blood out of his nose. Slayer and him square up on the outside hitting forearms once again – everytime Slayer hits one blood flies into the crowd. Driftwood comes back with a headbutt – then a snap dragon suplex on the outside. He tosses Slayer into the ring and grabs a table sliding it in. He sets it up and Slayer is there to greet him, they battle but Driftwood gets the best of him throws Slayer through the table with an overhead belly to belly. Driftwood is up letting referee Garcia count – he gets to a five and a half and Slayer is up.. Driftwood takes him down again though, snapping his head back with a closeline right from hell.
Foote: PEZ DISPENSER!!!
Sting: This is just a slugfest through and through.
While the ref counts away – Driftwood knows he didn’t do enough to keep Slayer down. Driftwood tosses two chairs into the ring. He places them arm's length from each other. Driftwood spits on the ground as Slayer makes it up from a seven and a half count. Slayer sees JD and sits down on the one across from him. JD nods to let Slayer go first and gets the taste slapped out of his mouth. Driftwood slaps the fuck out of Slayer and catches his ear leaving it ringing. This goes back and forth about fifteen times and them they stand up and start just hockey fighting throwing blow after blow. Slayer scoop revers powerslam – driving Driftwood right through one of the chairs.
Foote: PATCH OF FUCKING DESTRUCTION! RIGHT THROUGH THE CHAIR!
Sting: Driftwood bleeding all over the canvas as the ref counts.
Slayer isn’t taking any risks as he heads to the top rope. Slayer comes off the top rope with a frog splash but JD pulls the upright chair in the way and Slayer puts himself right through it – his throat coming down across the back of the chair.
Foote: What a move by JD Driftwood. That is why he is the best in the goddamn business. That’s why he is white trash rich daddy.
Sting: Both men absolutely fucked up right now.
The ref gets to a six count as Driftwood rolls to the outside and pulls up a barbed wire two by four and a screwdriver. He tosses the screw driver into the ring and rolls back in with a two by four in hand. Slayer pulled himself up to his feet in the corner at the eight count. JD runs like a freight train and smashes the barbed wire wrapped two by four into the skull of Slayer. JD drags it all across Slayers face, splitting him open now. JD stops to lick the blood from the barbed wire looking right into the camera. JD slams barbed wire two by four into the head of Slayer. JJ is on the ground and JD raises the bit of wood above his head – but Slayer get his hand on the screw driver and slams it into the foot of JD.
Driftwood: FUCKING ASSHOLE MOTHER FUCKING SHIT ASS FUCKING DICK SHIT CUNT WHORE!
Driftwood yanks the screwdriver from his foot but Slayer grabs JD off guard and lifts him up to a stalling gourd buster. JD is out cold as Slayer moves to the outside and pulls a baseball bat from under the ring. He slides inside and though it looks like Driftwood might be done for, Slayer slams the bat across his ribs. He then starts choking JD with it pulling him to the ropes for the crowd and camera to see. Slayer lets him go and then smashes the bat into his back once more. JD kicks in pain. Slayer pulls JD up and Driftwood snaps his head backward, catching Slayer on his already bloodied nose. Slayer grabs the bat and swings a home run – the same time JD gets his hands on his two by four – the pair connect with a knock that goes right through the arena – spit – blood – pieces of teeth fly into the air and crash down to the canvas with the two heavy hitters.
“OOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!”
Sting: They just gave each other brain damage.
Foote: I knew they were going to fucking kill each other.
Referee Tom Garcia keeps counting as neither man is moving much – he gets to ten and calls for the bell just as both men start to pull themselves up on either side of the ring using the ropes.
DING! DING! DING!
Anderson: THIS MATCH IS A DRAW!!!
The crowd boos – jeers echoing throughout the arena. JJ and JD are up now and the two bloodied men go back to beating the hell out of one another. Security pours out from the back and they both just start clear cutting an endless stream of black shirt wearing men. When everyone is laid out the pair bump back to back and JD doesn’t miss a beat… he nails a vertebreaker.
Foote: FULL ON HEADER!
Driftwood: Fuck you!
He stomps out of the ring as he theme rings out – walking over the bodies JJ and he just destroyed moments ago.
“All Eyes On You” by Smash Into Pieces begins to play as JJ Slayer makes his way onto the entrance ramp.
Sting: This man has had a mean streak since debuting. He has beat top stars and taken years off the lives of others.
Foote: But still… he is calling out the baddest mother fucker in the yard and I think he is going to get bit.
After a brief pause to yell towards the cheering crowd Slayer rushes down the ramp, sliding into the ring under the bottom rope. Once in the ring, Slayer moves to his corner to await the start of the bout.
Sting: I hope he is ready for this…
We cut to outside the Thompson Boiling arena, where the sounds of a roaring engine can be heard pulling up the building. The fans that are outside waiting go completely nuts as the lifted, cherry red 73’ Ford F250 hauls ass up to the doors of the building - almost taking out a few fans in the process. Skirting to a break, the truck sits idly for a few seconds revving up it’s engine before JD Driftwood opens up the door and hops down. The fans instantly lose it in a mix of vile boos and drunken cheers. JD fucking screamed out at them, reeling them up as he cracked open a tallboy of busch light and slammed that motherfucker before crushing it onto his forehead. He spits out some of the beer in a a mist over the audience.
JD Driftwood: Y’ALL MOTHERFUCKERS READY TO SEE ME FUCKIN’ KILL A BITCH?
They roar back with excitement and bloodlust as JD positions himself in front of the doors of the building, looking out over his audience with a pissed off, yet seemingly satisfied snarl on his lips. He nods his head as some fans start to chant “ KILL! KILLER! KILL! KILL! KILLER! KILL!”
JD Driftwood: Y’all fuckin’ know exactly what I’m about to fuckin’ do! You think ol’ diaper rash JJ, got shit on me? Motherfucker ain’t even got a daddy to wipe his own fuckin’ ass, but he want to call out the baddest motherfucker to ever step foot inside a god damn ring? STUPID! Kids fuckin’ stupid! And you know what I do to dumb motherfuckin’ bitches? I fuck em!
With that he smashes his arms back through the doors of the arena and enters, his match was up next and JD wasn’t wasting any time as he made his way through the arenas, the camera following him as he pushed staff members out of the way, talked shit, and just in general made a way path to the gorilla position. As he makes his way to the curtain you can hear the first strums of “ Mean Motherfucker Blues” by Angry Johnny and the Killbillies starting to play.
Foote: A moment these fans have been waiting months for. Ol’ JD is stomping his muddy boots right back to the top of the card.
“I woke up one morning and I kicked my dog
I beat my neighbors head in with a big maple log
And I called his big fat hairy wife a big fat hairy slob
I GOT THE BLUES, THE MEAN MOTHERFUCKER!”
Anderson: Now coming to the ring making his CULT return, former SNUFF Champion, former New World Champion, Florida’s Sickest Son… JD FUCKING DRIFTWOOD!
And with that lyric, JD pushes through the curtain banging his fuckin’ chest like a madman as the audience erupts! JD Driftwood, back in a CULT Arena after months, back in a ring, this is the kind of shit that he lived for. He yells out at the audience, giving them the finger and threatening their livelihoods as he makes his way down to the ring, he slaps hands out of his face that want a high-five and spits in the directions of babies, this man didn’t give no fucks and he was here for one reason, and that was to put JJ Slayer down.
“I was doing ninety and I heard that siren wail
Cop pulls me over, says he's taking me to jail
I said "Look here pig, I think you bеtter think again"
And I pumped five in his belly
Put thе last one in his brain
I HAD THE BLUES, THE MEAN MOTHERFUCKER”
Sting: This crowd is going insane. This is why English opened up the check books and made JD white trash rich.
Getting to the ring, JD pulls himself onto the apron, and spins so he can look out at his audience, the sweat already dripping down his face as his scowl grows larger. The closer he got to the moment, the angry he became as he threw up the metal horns and then smacked the side of his face a few times before entering the ring. Once in the ring he stomped all around it, like a dog marking it’s territory, pissed off and swearing, waiting for this motherfucker to begin.
DING! DING! DING!
Foote: Let’s fucking get it.
JJ and JD meet in the middle of the ring and just start beating the absolute piss out of one another. After slugging eachother’s skulls all to fuck they start to exchange forearms to the face. JD hits JJ, JJ hits JD, JD fires back – JJ returns fire himself. JJ against the ropes and back with a big forearm that staggers JD. JD stiffens his upper lip – hits the ropes and nails a huge forearm of his own causing Slayer to stagger. JD uses the opening to light up the former CULT Classic Champion with chops to the chest – he has JJ in the corner and goes for a massive chop. Slayer moves out of the way rolling to the middle of the ring. Driftwood’s hand just pings off the turnbuckle. Slayer comes back with a corner splash – Driftwood staggers from the corner and Slayer comes with a big closeline to get the first take down of the match.
Sting: Two big boys slapping meat. You have to love to see it.
Foote: I love two juicy boys slamming each other around a squared circle.
JD isn’t down for long – he’s up and slugging with Slyer again. JD’s arms get hooked as he throws wild strikes and Slayer slams him to the canvas with a full nelson slam. The back og JD’s head bounces off the canvas, but he’s back to his feet asking for more and Slyer body slams him. Driftwood slams his fits against the canvas and is up again, jawing at Slayer. Slayer now with a snap suplex – he wastes no time pulling JD back up by his head and throws the former New World Champion to the ropes – on the rebound Slayer nails a pop-up powerbomb.
Foote: Slayer now wiping his boot along the face of JD.
Sting: The man kind of is trash… I mean…
Slayer pulls JD up and the bastard spits mucus right between his eyes and rakes them. When Slayer spins around Driftwood slams him with a backdrop. Driftwood follows up dropping a knee across the bridge of Slayer’s nose. Driftwood keeps it old school dropping a forearm now down on the head of Slayer before stomping him – using the rope for leverage at a point.
Driftwood: Fuck this pussy! Fuck you!
JD screams at the Tennessee crowd spitting into it as Slayer rolls to the outside. JD runs to the outside of the ring – the crowd pops as it looks like he is about to leap but he stops dead and flips everyone in the arena off.
Foote: I’ve missed this man. He makes wrestling look like an art form.
Sting: An abstract one maybe.
Driftwood has a chair in his hand he pulled from under the ring and he smashes it across the back of Slayer – Slayer on his hands and knees now crawling and JD wacks him with the chair again. Slayer goes belly to the ground and does a push up – but JD forces him back to the ground with another thud of the chair. Driftwood tosses it aside and stalks his opponent. JD pulls slayer up, but Slayer gets some elbows into his beer swollen gut. Slayer slams Driftwoods face against the steps – over and over – punch drunk JD swings at Slayer but he is whipped into the guardrail spilling beer and popcorn from the hands of patrons. Slayer steps on JD’s head pushing down on it harder using the guardrail. Slayer pulls JD – he nails a gutwrench suplex. Slayer pulls JD up by the head then slams his face down over and over again on the ring steps. Slayer pulls JD’s head up once more and slowly pushes it into the edge of the metal steps. Slayer then pulls JD’s face on the sharp edge splitting him wide open.
Foote: Slayer warned us we were going to see a different side of him in this match.
Sting: He was worried about the violence of this match if it were to take place on CULT:TV – but truth be told after seeing the ears of thousands of people bleed I think it’s rated R at least.
Slayer puts a bloody Driftwood on his shoulders and Death Valley Drivers him right into the sharp edges of the ring steps. Referee Tom Garcia starts the ten count as Slayer grabs a water bottle and chugs the contents. The ref gets to a seven count before Driftwood gets up to his feet. Slayer picks JD up into a military press and then Samoan drops him across the guard rail dumping the bloody sack of ass into the front row. Slayer grabs JD by the arms and pulls them through the rail – he pulls them both dragging Driftwood’s face right into the bars of the railing.
Foote: Slayer doing his best to make Driftwood uglier and tougher by the end of the night.
Sting: Slayer is trying to stomp out Driftwood’s legacy. There has been a lot of new faces since he left the company.
Driftwood climbs over the railing and snorts blood out of his nose. Slayer and him square up on the outside hitting forearms once again – everytime Slayer hits one blood flies into the crowd. Driftwood comes back with a headbutt – then a snap dragon suplex on the outside. He tosses Slayer into the ring and grabs a table sliding it in. He sets it up and Slayer is there to greet him, they battle but Driftwood gets the best of him throws Slayer through the table with an overhead belly to belly. Driftwood is up letting referee Garcia count – he gets to a five and a half and Slayer is up.. Driftwood takes him down again though, snapping his head back with a closeline right from hell.
Foote: PEZ DISPENSER!!!
Sting: This is just a slugfest through and through.
While the ref counts away – Driftwood knows he didn’t do enough to keep Slayer down. Driftwood tosses two chairs into the ring. He places them arm's length from each other. Driftwood spits on the ground as Slayer makes it up from a seven and a half count. Slayer sees JD and sits down on the one across from him. JD nods to let Slayer go first and gets the taste slapped out of his mouth. Driftwood slaps the fuck out of Slayer and catches his ear leaving it ringing. This goes back and forth about fifteen times and them they stand up and start just hockey fighting throwing blow after blow. Slayer scoop revers powerslam – driving Driftwood right through one of the chairs.
Foote: PATCH OF FUCKING DESTRUCTION! RIGHT THROUGH THE CHAIR!
Sting: Driftwood bleeding all over the canvas as the ref counts.
Slayer isn’t taking any risks as he heads to the top rope. Slayer comes off the top rope with a frog splash but JD pulls the upright chair in the way and Slayer puts himself right through it – his throat coming down across the back of the chair.
Foote: What a move by JD Driftwood. That is why he is the best in the goddamn business. That’s why he is white trash rich daddy.
Sting: Both men absolutely fucked up right now.
The ref gets to a six count as Driftwood rolls to the outside and pulls up a barbed wire two by four and a screwdriver. He tosses the screw driver into the ring and rolls back in with a two by four in hand. Slayer pulled himself up to his feet in the corner at the eight count. JD runs like a freight train and smashes the barbed wire wrapped two by four into the skull of Slayer. JD drags it all across Slayers face, splitting him open now. JD stops to lick the blood from the barbed wire looking right into the camera. JD slams barbed wire two by four into the head of Slayer. JJ is on the ground and JD raises the bit of wood above his head – but Slayer get his hand on the screw driver and slams it into the foot of JD.
Driftwood: FUCKING ASSHOLE MOTHER FUCKING SHIT ASS FUCKING DICK SHIT CUNT WHORE!
Driftwood yanks the screwdriver from his foot but Slayer grabs JD off guard and lifts him up to a stalling gourd buster. JD is out cold as Slayer moves to the outside and pulls a baseball bat from under the ring. He slides inside and though it looks like Driftwood might be done for, Slayer slams the bat across his ribs. He then starts choking JD with it pulling him to the ropes for the crowd and camera to see. Slayer lets him go and then smashes the bat into his back once more. JD kicks in pain. Slayer pulls JD up and Driftwood snaps his head backward, catching Slayer on his already bloodied nose. Slayer grabs the bat and swings a home run – the same time JD gets his hands on his two by four – the pair connect with a knock that goes right through the arena – spit – blood – pieces of teeth fly into the air and crash down to the canvas with the two heavy hitters.
“OOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!”
Sting: They just gave each other brain damage.
Foote: I knew they were going to fucking kill each other.
Referee Tom Garcia keeps counting as neither man is moving much – he gets to ten and calls for the bell just as both men start to pull themselves up on either side of the ring using the ropes.
DING! DING! DING!
Anderson: THIS MATCH IS A DRAW!!!
The crowd boos – jeers echoing throughout the arena. JJ and JD are up now and the two bloodied men go back to beating the hell out of one another. Security pours out from the back and they both just start clear cutting an endless stream of black shirt wearing men. When everyone is laid out the pair bump back to back and JD doesn’t miss a beat… he nails a vertebreaker.
Foote: FULL ON HEADER!
Driftwood: Fuck you!
He stomps out of the ring as he theme rings out – walking over the bodies JJ and he just destroyed moments ago.
Backstage inside the men's locker room a lone JC Keeton sat on a bench in his ring gear as he laced his boots. The faint sounds of Social Distortion’s cover of Johnny Cash's “Ring of Fire” cones from the airpods in his ears making him oblivious to any other sounds around him. One such sound being the entrance of recent opponent and constant friend, Matt Knox who had a steel chair in his hand.
He stood by for a moment, swinging it but stopping short once, then twice, then setting the chair up behind Keeton’s seat and facing away. He took a seat, looked to his left at the younger man then reached out and plucked an airpod out.
Matt Knox: If this was IWF, ,Wraith would have fed you to his step dad twice in the time i’ve been in here.
Keeton chuckled lightly.
JC Keeton: Me and Dean will take care of them Friday when we take their belts. I'm focused on tonight. Are you ready? This match is extra dangerous for you.
This earned an arched eyebrow, although it was hard to see through the fading bruising and swelling on his face that Keeton had gifted him.
Matt Knox: How do you figure? I’m not anymore flammable than you.
JC Keeton: Your blood is 90% alcohol. I mean after this last week mine ain't much less I guess.
At this, Matthew allowed himself a full laugh, reaching out to slap Keeton on the shoulder. He shook his head, clearing his throat before replying
Matt Knox: Suppose we would try to use it for our advantage. Might have enough vapor in the belly to breathe fire yet.
He stood, picking the chair up and moving it to sit across from Keeton.
Matt Knox: Anyway, I won’t keep you from your rock covers of country songs or country covers of rock songs. Straight up and to the chase, your home and my current conquest could use a bit of positive press, with Angel being a damned fool representing IWF….imagine, if we brought this home to the company?
He smirks
Matt Knox: Be good leverage at contract time, if nothing else.
JC nodded, taking a second to think.
JC Keeton: I want to win this but if I can't I hope it's you. I know it's a Battle Royal and you can't trust anyone so I dunno if I'm stupid, naive, or a good judge of character but you're one of few people I do trust. Let's watch out for each other, you're a big target but if I see somebody trying to eliminate you I'm gonna do everything I can short of sacrificing myself to stop it. You gonna do the same?
Matt Knox: Already planning to. It’s a shitshow until we’re down to six. We get there, it’s just about taking out two other teams who probably aren’t really teams. Just keep me in your sight, i’ll do the same for you. And since I am such a big motherfucker, i’ll try and keep the other big motherfuckers off of you.
Knox extends a hand, already wrapped in black athletic tape.
Matt Knox: Savvy?
JC finished lacing his boots and used Matt's handshake to pull himself to his feet.
JC Keeton: Let's do this. Final two then we'll pick up where we left off before those assholes interrupted us last week in IWF.
The feed cuts back to ringside.
He stood by for a moment, swinging it but stopping short once, then twice, then setting the chair up behind Keeton’s seat and facing away. He took a seat, looked to his left at the younger man then reached out and plucked an airpod out.
Matt Knox: If this was IWF, ,Wraith would have fed you to his step dad twice in the time i’ve been in here.
Keeton chuckled lightly.
JC Keeton: Me and Dean will take care of them Friday when we take their belts. I'm focused on tonight. Are you ready? This match is extra dangerous for you.
This earned an arched eyebrow, although it was hard to see through the fading bruising and swelling on his face that Keeton had gifted him.
Matt Knox: How do you figure? I’m not anymore flammable than you.
JC Keeton: Your blood is 90% alcohol. I mean after this last week mine ain't much less I guess.
At this, Matthew allowed himself a full laugh, reaching out to slap Keeton on the shoulder. He shook his head, clearing his throat before replying
Matt Knox: Suppose we would try to use it for our advantage. Might have enough vapor in the belly to breathe fire yet.
He stood, picking the chair up and moving it to sit across from Keeton.
Matt Knox: Anyway, I won’t keep you from your rock covers of country songs or country covers of rock songs. Straight up and to the chase, your home and my current conquest could use a bit of positive press, with Angel being a damned fool representing IWF….imagine, if we brought this home to the company?
He smirks
Matt Knox: Be good leverage at contract time, if nothing else.
JC nodded, taking a second to think.
JC Keeton: I want to win this but if I can't I hope it's you. I know it's a Battle Royal and you can't trust anyone so I dunno if I'm stupid, naive, or a good judge of character but you're one of few people I do trust. Let's watch out for each other, you're a big target but if I see somebody trying to eliminate you I'm gonna do everything I can short of sacrificing myself to stop it. You gonna do the same?
Matt Knox: Already planning to. It’s a shitshow until we’re down to six. We get there, it’s just about taking out two other teams who probably aren’t really teams. Just keep me in your sight, i’ll do the same for you. And since I am such a big motherfucker, i’ll try and keep the other big motherfuckers off of you.
Knox extends a hand, already wrapped in black athletic tape.
Matt Knox: Savvy?
JC finished lacing his boots and used Matt's handshake to pull himself to his feet.
JC Keeton: Let's do this. Final two then we'll pick up where we left off before those assholes interrupted us last week in IWF.
The feed cuts back to ringside.
Foote: We are about to see a lot of denim and wife beater combos out there. No one is going to want to get burned in some tiny sexy little trunks.
Around the ring is surrounded by flames – in the first row people hold fire extinguishers. The flames are just outside the apron – they flare up every time someone hits a move.
Anderson: The following contest is the Heaven Sent Battle Royal. To win the match you must throw your opponent over the top rope and into the flames outside the ring. The one person not set on fire wins the contest and will earn a shot at the New World Championship at All Hells Acoming.
Luna Baby and JC Keeton are kicking things off. JC testing the ropes and Luna skips around the ring in a circle stopping to do a mock wrestling stance at her opponent as the bell ring.
DING! DING! DING!
JC gets a double leg takedown on Luna and starts some ground and pound work. Luna scrambles to her feet and goes to the corner. JC comes with a close line that Luna dodges before kicking him in the back of the head. She laughs – but JC smirks and picks her up – slamming her down with a hard double leg. He catapults her into the turnbuckle but Luna lands up top and comes back with a moonsault. JC catches her and slams her to the canvas with a powerslam – flames shoot up high outside the ring.
Sting: This is a hot contest!
Foote: The roof the roof the roof is on fire… we don’t need no water let JC Keeton burn!
The flames near the rampway die down as Epistme makes their way into the match. Keeton sees them coming in and cuts them off with a spear. He grabs Epistme and tosses them over the top rope right into the flames below. A person in the first row tries their extinguisher but a “BANG!” flag just pops out. Meanwhile Epistme is burning up – until a few quick thinking fans pour beer all over them to put them out.
EPISTME HAS BEEN ELIMINATED!
Sting: English stopped that crazy fucking Jaclyn Pierrot from buying all the front row tickets but it seems she has slipped some duds into the hands of out patrons.
Foote: Smells like a Hannibal Lecter cookout!
JC smirks and stomps on Luna Baby. She tries to battle back up but eats a knee to the face. Keeton with a big German suplex now. He starts working over her ribs with repeated knees. Then JC locks in an arm bar… it looks like he might snap Luna’s arm when Royston Popplewell comes barreling from the back and drops a leg across JC’s throat breaking the hold.
Sting: Royston Popplewell is pissed!
Foote: Now Keeton has to deal with the greatest team CULT has ever had in Three Ring Barney. Now godless after Chester’s loss on CULT:TV.
Popplewell is popping JC Keeton well with left and rights – he nails a big boot on Keeton. He puts him across his knee and Luna comes off the top stomping on his face. Popplewell has Keeton pushed to the ropes Luna helping by hauling on a leg. Then Matthew Knox pops up on the scene. He clubs Luna across the back – he ducks a swing by Popplewell. He hits a European uppercut on the big man. JC nails Luna with a closeline sending her over the top rope and into the flames. Fans quickly put her out with their extinguishers as Popplewell looks over to top rope concerned about his partner. Knox and JC dump him over the top rope into the flames where he is quickly foamed out.
THREE RING BARNEY HAS BEEN ELIMINATED!
Foote: The pact Knox and Keeton made earlier tonight is working out well early on in this match.
Sting: These things never last.
Emily Regal makes her way down and slides into the ring to a series of stomps from JC and Knox. They are just blasting her with shots – then they pick her up and powerbomb her over the top rope into the flames. Fans once again fighting one another to try and put her out – allowing her to be more burned in the process.
EMILY REGAL HAS BEEN ELIMINATED!
Sting: This is bad news for the rest of the roster.
Foote: JC and Knox are going to run things until they are the final too. It’s not a bad idea.
Former CULT Classic Champion Noah Ortega makes his way to the ring. He manages to dodge some shots to CULT’s newest tag team. He hits the tops and dropkicks’ JC’s knees out from under him. Knox goes for a DDT, but Ortega slips it letting him fall on his back. Ortega stomps him in the gut then an enziguri on JC. Noah locks in a chinlock long enough to get some reinforcements in the form of John Gracy entering the match. He gets in the ring and Keeton and he tie themselves up in the corner. Ortega with a snap suplex on Knox. Ortega uses the ropes and cracks him with a springboard corkscrew roundhouse kick, toppling Knox. JC is getting the best of Gracy in the corner – he’s kicking him in the gut and hitting forearm after forearm. Kallie Reznik comes running down the ramp and when she gets in the ring Ortega hits her with a superkick knocking her out cold. He taunts mean mugging for the hard cam long enough Knox nails him with a discuss elbow. Knox helps JC hit a double suplex on Gracy – then a double backdrop on Kallie. Ortega comes running and Knox hoists him up with a flapjack and JC brings him down with a cutter. The taunt into the hard cam now and then scop up Kallie to try and eliminate her.
Foote: Keeton and Knox take control of the match once more.
Max Daemon gets into the match and wastes no time evening things up – he wipes out Knox and Keeton with a double closeline. He kisses his muscles then grabs Kallie by the hair and tosses her over the ropes into the flames.
KALLIE REZNIK HAS BEEN ELIMINATED!
Gracy comes running and Daemon backdrops him right over the top rope into the burning ring of fire.
JOHN GRACY HAS BEEN ELIMINATED!
Foote: MAX IS ON FIRE!
Sting: No pun intended!
Max and Noah now get the best of Knox and JC as they agree to work together for a moment. A double v-trigger on Knox. A double brain buster on JC. Jack Sullivan enters the match – but as she gets into the ring Noah nails her with a superkick and she tumbles over the top rope and into the flames on the outside.
JACK SULLIVAN HAS BEEN ELIMINATED!
Foote: This is just fast paced insanity… it’s getting a little smokey in here.
Sting: 4/20 blaze it Bill!
Paul Freedom hits the ring looking to avenge his partner. He dodges another superkick from Noah and nails a superman punch – Noah just crumbles. Paul hits the second rope and comes off with a moonsault taking Max out. Paul with crossbody on Knox – then JC catches him dead with a spinning backfist. Silias Romero makes his way to the ring slowly as the battle rages on. Romero is in the ring and starts kicking away at the chins of Knox. Knox hits a DDT and JC comes off the top with a slash across his chest. Noah hits a snap dragon on Knox. Max foreartms JC right in the back of the head. Freedom foolishly pulls Romero to the apron with him over the top rope and they battle back and fourth. Paul out of nowhere hits a Death Valley Driver on the apron… his own leg coming close to the flames – but avoiding. Romero on the other hand is a ball of fire on the outside.
ROMERO HAS BEEN ELIMINATED!
Sting: Paul doing just fine without his best buddy!
Logan Bailey replaces the charred remains of Romero in this match. Everyone is battling and he just sits back to relax for a while in the turnbuckle. Noah comes running with a kick – but Romero dodges leaving Noah hanging on the top rope. Paul scopes him over the ropes to the outside and into the blaze.
NOAH ORTEGA HAS BEEN ELIMINATED!
Foote: There goes the former CULT Classic Champion.
Latoya Hixx charges into the ring now. She is met with a spine buster from Knox. JC keeps the team going, dropping a knee across the beautiful woman’s face. Knox and JC pull her up to her feet and just toss her over the top rope… her hair catching fire as she hits the ground.
LATOYA HIXX HAS BEEN ELIMINATED!
Sting: There is no stopping this pair.
Logan dropkicks JC from the back and he goes over the top rope. He pulls himself up on the apron but Logan spears him off of it and into the inferno.
JC KEETON HAS BEEN ELIMINATED!
Foote: Looks like Knox is all on his own now!
Sting: It was inevitable. They both couldn’t win.
Max Daemon now laying shots on Knox. He tossed him to the ropes and on the way back he hits a spinning back elbow. Max with a suplex on Knox. Logan with a swinging neckbreaker on Freedom. Max now with an inverted DDT on Logan. He pulls him up and goes to send him over the rope but Logan slams Max’s head against the corner pad. Logan with a spinning wheel kick. Krow hits the ring and right away him and Knox come face to face.
Foot: It’s raven vs crow! Bird is the mother fucking word.
Krow and Knox just start nailing another with forearm after forearm in the middle of the ring. Krow gets the best of Knox with a closeline. He pulls knox up and drives him down with a piledriver. Daemon hits a running baseball punch on Krow knocking him down as
Azurine Vebbins hits the ring and takes Daemons knees out from underneath him. Knox spins her around and she kicks him in the nuts. Logan approaches her and a kick to the ol beanbag for him as well. Max is up and back down with… you guessed it…
Foote: A SHOT TO THE FUCKING NUTZZZ!
Vebbins flexes in the middle of the ring. Then Casnaova comes out from the back and ruins it for everyone. He hits Vebbins with a flying knee. He nails a code breaker on Vebbins and locks in a choke causing her to pass out completely. English with a hip toss on Knox. A neckbreaker from English on Freedom. Tombstone on Logan from CULT’s owner. English is going at these fuckers like an assassin. He locks in a sharp shooter on Logan locking it in deep – but English is too close to the ropes and Beaufort enters the match drop kicking him from the back and sending the boss over the top and into the flames.
CASANOVA ENGLISH HAS BEEN ELIMINATED!
Sting: WHAT! BEAUFORT JUST ELIMINATED ENGLISH!
Foote: There is going to be hell to pay.
Sting: She got revenge for this booking right here.
Vebbins seeking an opportunity grabs Beaufort by the hair and goes to send her over the ropes but Beaufort reverses and tosses Vebbins over and into the flames instead.
VEBBINS HAS BEEN ELIMINATED!
Sting: A breakout performance by Beaufort here.
Her 15 minutes of fame doesn’t last long as Krow hits her with a big boot sending Beaufort to the apron… the closelines her off into the flames.
BEAUFORT HAS BEEN ELIMINATED!
Sting: That didn’t last long.
Foote: That’s what she said.
Addy A is next to join the match and Max Daemon zeros in on her. He springs off the back of Logan Baily as he battles Paul Freedom and closelines Addy taking her ot the ground and just keeps hammering her face over and over.
Sting: Max has it out for Addy she ruined his chances of recapturing the SNUFF Championship more than once.
Foote: Fuck her up Max!
Daemon lifts Addy up and nails a leaping dragon sleeper backstabber – he locks the sleeper in tight choking Addy to sleep.
Foote: Devil Trigger and not pulling his finger off it until Addy goes limp.
Max smirks as he picks up Addy’s body and flicks it over the top rope into the flames. The fans frantically blast her with the extinguishers trying to salvage one of their favorites.
ADDY A HAS BEN ELIMINATED!
Somehow Logan Bailey has made it to the outside apron and is exchanging strikes with Krow. Krow pushes Logan back into the turnbuckle — Logan kicks Krow in the gut staggering him. He sets him up for what looks to be a Canadian destroyer – but Krow backdrops him on the apron. Logan manages to hold on using the bottom rope – flames lapping at his toes. Krow starts stomping him. Paul Freedom breaks it up trying to suplex Krow back into the ring…. But Krow gets him up instead – he has him vertical teetering on the edge of being suplexed out of the ring… Paul kicks him legs and falls back into the ring breaking the hold. Logan is back up and goes at it with rights to the side of Krow’s head – then a high drop kick from Freedom inside the ring send them both into the flames below – they swing at each other all the way down. Battle up the ramp even after the fans put them out. Trey Bouchet passes them on his way to the ring.
Foote: What a battle.
Sting: Paul Freedom showing he can be effective without his partner in crime.
KROW AND LOGAN BAILEY HAVE BEEN ELIMINATED!
Trey enters the match like a suplex merchant. A belly to belly on Knox, a regular suplex on Max Daemon. Paul swings and Trey ducks and he hits a German, hangs on and hits another German… one more German… then Trey scoops Paul up and tosses him clear over the fucking ropes with a belly to back. Trey screams circling the ring as the only man standing.
Foote: Fuck that is one way to stop Paul Freedom’s momentum.
PAUL FREEDOM HAS BEEN ELIMINATED!
Trey hits a Saito suplex on Max, then a belly to belly on Matthew Knox. Trey with a backdrop on Max. He locks in a single leg crab and flips over to face the entryway just as Junko Souma springs off the top rope and takes Trey down with a double knee. The crowd is chanting Junko’s name as she is the only one standing in the ring. Daemon sits up and eats a kick from Junko. Knox is tired being in this math nearly from the start but he spins Junko around and hits a exploder suplex followed by a lionsault. When he gets up Max Daemon takes Knox out with a big boot to the back of the head. Addison Stockton runs down the ramp and slides into the ring. Max sends her to the ropes but she comes back with a crossbody taking Daemon down. Junko is battling once again with Knox – she is laying out kicks on Knox in the corner. She tries to push the bigger man over the rope but Knox clubs her on the back driving her down to her knees. Knox hits a piledriver on Junko. He takes out Stockton with a closeline. He and Max meet in the middle of the ring and start to exchange rights and lefts….
Foote: Oh things are about to heat up.
Sting: Kilroy is coming!
Kilroy clears Matt and Max out with a double close line. He picks up Addison in a Gorilla press and tosses her over the ropes into the flames. Then his head snaps to a downed Junko Souma.
ADDISON STOCKTON HAS BEEN ELIMINATED!
Trey does the dumbest thing he possibly could by trying to cut off Kilroy. He manages to hits German suplex – Kilroy holds the back of his head and rolls to his feet he spears Trey almost driving himself right through him. He tosses Trey over the top ropes and continues his stomp toward Junko Souma.
TREY BOUCHET HAS BEEN ELIMINATED!
Sting: Kilroy on a tear on his way to his arch rival Junko Souma.
Junko Souma stand up to Kilroy – glaring up at the big man she slaps him right across the mutha fuckin mouth! Kilroy throws Junko to the ropes and she comes back diving through the air with a forearm to Kilroy’s painted face. His head snaps back, but in a rage he unleashes a flail of strikes pounding Junko down to the canvas. He picks her up and drops her down hear first into the turnbuckle. Kilroy picks her up again and drops Junko down so she smashes her face off the metal turnbuckle post this time. Junko starts bleeding badly. She puts her hand on her face and blood trickles out from between her fingers.
Foote: He wants to kill Junko Souma… it’s all he cares about.. It’s all he thinks about.
Sting: Sounds like love.
Grace Leary is the last to enter the match. She slides under the ropes but takes no interest in stopping Kilroy’s assault. She just goes to work laying a few boots to Max Daemon. Kilroy is trying to rip Junko Souma’s head from her shoulders – he lifts her off the ground by it – but she drags him down with a jaw breaker. The crowd pops as Kilroy falls backward and Junko hits a drop kick. With blood pouring down her face she hits chops after chop before transitioning to forearms. Junko back Kilroy right to the ropes and he’s leaning over them – then Kilroy tosses Junko over the top rope – het legs kick and kick Kilroy raises his hands cheering as if he had finally beat his greatest rival. Junko pulls herself up – as Kilroy spins around she wraps her legs around his bald head and pulls him over the top rope into the flames.
KILROY HAS BEEN ELIMINATED!
Foote: Fuck she did it again…
Sting: She bested Kilroy.
Kilroy however runs back into the ring while fully ablaze he hits Junko with a flaming closeline that turns her inside out and a body splash before security jumps in the ring shoots him with fire extinguishers – dropping one in the ring.
Foote: A FLAMING CLOSELINE FROM KILROY! THIS MAN IS UNHINGED!
Sting: We know this isn’t going to end until he ENDS Junko Souma. He’s left her bloody anc charred in the ring.
Grace Leary with a swimming neckbreaker on Knox. She hits Max Daemon with a wheel borrow bulldog. She hits the ropes and dropkicks Max as he starts to get up. Leary grabs Knox and hits a standing frankensteiner. She then heads to the top rope. As Max gets to his feet Grace comes off with a shooting star DDT.
Foote: CAUGHT HIM WITH HER FINISHER!
Max is out cold. Grace goes to pick him up but Knox intercepts her with a one legged codebreaker. Knox gets up spitting on the ground. Junko is pulling herself up with the ropes. She stomps toward Knox and lights him up with forearms – she screams on the last one and cracks him so hard he falls to his knees then on his face.
JUNKO! JUNKO! JUNKO!
Sting: She is getting the biggest pops in CULT history up her pay.
Foote: We blew all our extra cash to bring JD Driftwood back.
Grace hits a snapmare on Junko, kicks her in the spine – punts her in the head then does a double stomp to her gut. Max Daemon is up though and he grabs Grace by the back of the neck sending her over the top rope and to the apron. Daemon grapples with Grace then hits her with a stunner, hanging her up on the top rope and sending her into the ring of fire surrounding the squared circle.
GRACE LEARY HAS BEEN ELIMINATED!
Foote: We are down to the final three. These foalks can almost taste victory.
Max looks down at Grace on the outside as she is just being pulled out. He smirks. He spins around and Junko folds him the fuck up with a Ki Krusher '99.
Sting: JNK DRIVER!!!!
Junko wipes the blood from her eyes and picks Daemon up pushing him toward the rope… his dead weight a little too much to get him over the ropes alone… so Knox helps out and together they flip Daemon to the outside and into the flames.
Foote: What MORE can Max Daemon go through. HE WAS BRANDED! HE WAS BURNED! HE DID A BLOOD LETTING!
MAX DAEMON HAS BEEN ELIMINATED!
Sting: We are down to the final two… it’s Junko Souma and Matthew Knox who is making his debut and has been in this thing since the start pretty much.
Knox lets Junko back up and gets his breath. The two go back at it, slugging it out in the middle of the ring. Knox with a body slam, to his surprise Junko pops back up and hits him with a fucking body slam. She flexes, blood rolling down her face. Knox is back up to greet her. He hits Junko with an exploder suplex, she pretty much bounces off the canvas and back to her feet. Knox hits a GTS.
Foote: INTO THE VOID!
Knox brings Junko up and throws her over the top rope, but she hangs onto it. The crowd cheers. Knox turns around and kicks and punches but Junko has a deathgrip on the top rope. Knox goes to run at Junko but she launches herself back into the ring between the ropes spearing him.
Sting: Junko Souma won’t quit!
She is back in the ring and she backs Knox up with forearms, kicking the extinguisher his way accidentally. Junko has Knox reeling on the ropes cracking him with chops and forearms over and over – she backs up the halfway point in the ring runs and his Knox with a closeline taking him off his feet – she does it once more and Knox is almost over the top… she then runs full tilt across the ring.. But as soon as she goes – Knox picks up the extinguisher and runs behind her just a few steps back – Junko hits the ropes and just as she turns Knox smokes her with the extinguisher. Junko tumbles over the top rope into the fire – she is put out quickly. Knox squirts the extinguisher all over the ring and tosses it down.
DING! DING! DING!
Foote: This fuckers first battle royal win or some shit.
Sting: What an effort by Junko Souma… What a match.
JUNKO SOUMA HAS BEEN ELIMINATED!
Anderson: THE WINNER O F THIS MATCH THE RAVEN MATT KNOX!!!!!
Foote: He has punched his ticket to face the winner of the main event at All Hells’ Acoming for the NEW WORLD CHAMPIONSHIP!
Knox raises his hands in the air as a shit ton of confetti blasts from the turnbuckles. He collapses to a knee and pulls himself up with the ring ropes as the scene cuts.
Around the ring is surrounded by flames – in the first row people hold fire extinguishers. The flames are just outside the apron – they flare up every time someone hits a move.
Anderson: The following contest is the Heaven Sent Battle Royal. To win the match you must throw your opponent over the top rope and into the flames outside the ring. The one person not set on fire wins the contest and will earn a shot at the New World Championship at All Hells Acoming.
Luna Baby and JC Keeton are kicking things off. JC testing the ropes and Luna skips around the ring in a circle stopping to do a mock wrestling stance at her opponent as the bell ring.
DING! DING! DING!
JC gets a double leg takedown on Luna and starts some ground and pound work. Luna scrambles to her feet and goes to the corner. JC comes with a close line that Luna dodges before kicking him in the back of the head. She laughs – but JC smirks and picks her up – slamming her down with a hard double leg. He catapults her into the turnbuckle but Luna lands up top and comes back with a moonsault. JC catches her and slams her to the canvas with a powerslam – flames shoot up high outside the ring.
Sting: This is a hot contest!
Foote: The roof the roof the roof is on fire… we don’t need no water let JC Keeton burn!
The flames near the rampway die down as Epistme makes their way into the match. Keeton sees them coming in and cuts them off with a spear. He grabs Epistme and tosses them over the top rope right into the flames below. A person in the first row tries their extinguisher but a “BANG!” flag just pops out. Meanwhile Epistme is burning up – until a few quick thinking fans pour beer all over them to put them out.
EPISTME HAS BEEN ELIMINATED!
Sting: English stopped that crazy fucking Jaclyn Pierrot from buying all the front row tickets but it seems she has slipped some duds into the hands of out patrons.
Foote: Smells like a Hannibal Lecter cookout!
JC smirks and stomps on Luna Baby. She tries to battle back up but eats a knee to the face. Keeton with a big German suplex now. He starts working over her ribs with repeated knees. Then JC locks in an arm bar… it looks like he might snap Luna’s arm when Royston Popplewell comes barreling from the back and drops a leg across JC’s throat breaking the hold.
Sting: Royston Popplewell is pissed!
Foote: Now Keeton has to deal with the greatest team CULT has ever had in Three Ring Barney. Now godless after Chester’s loss on CULT:TV.
Popplewell is popping JC Keeton well with left and rights – he nails a big boot on Keeton. He puts him across his knee and Luna comes off the top stomping on his face. Popplewell has Keeton pushed to the ropes Luna helping by hauling on a leg. Then Matthew Knox pops up on the scene. He clubs Luna across the back – he ducks a swing by Popplewell. He hits a European uppercut on the big man. JC nails Luna with a closeline sending her over the top rope and into the flames. Fans quickly put her out with their extinguishers as Popplewell looks over to top rope concerned about his partner. Knox and JC dump him over the top rope into the flames where he is quickly foamed out.
THREE RING BARNEY HAS BEEN ELIMINATED!
Foote: The pact Knox and Keeton made earlier tonight is working out well early on in this match.
Sting: These things never last.
Emily Regal makes her way down and slides into the ring to a series of stomps from JC and Knox. They are just blasting her with shots – then they pick her up and powerbomb her over the top rope into the flames. Fans once again fighting one another to try and put her out – allowing her to be more burned in the process.
EMILY REGAL HAS BEEN ELIMINATED!
Sting: This is bad news for the rest of the roster.
Foote: JC and Knox are going to run things until they are the final too. It’s not a bad idea.
Former CULT Classic Champion Noah Ortega makes his way to the ring. He manages to dodge some shots to CULT’s newest tag team. He hits the tops and dropkicks’ JC’s knees out from under him. Knox goes for a DDT, but Ortega slips it letting him fall on his back. Ortega stomps him in the gut then an enziguri on JC. Noah locks in a chinlock long enough to get some reinforcements in the form of John Gracy entering the match. He gets in the ring and Keeton and he tie themselves up in the corner. Ortega with a snap suplex on Knox. Ortega uses the ropes and cracks him with a springboard corkscrew roundhouse kick, toppling Knox. JC is getting the best of Gracy in the corner – he’s kicking him in the gut and hitting forearm after forearm. Kallie Reznik comes running down the ramp and when she gets in the ring Ortega hits her with a superkick knocking her out cold. He taunts mean mugging for the hard cam long enough Knox nails him with a discuss elbow. Knox helps JC hit a double suplex on Gracy – then a double backdrop on Kallie. Ortega comes running and Knox hoists him up with a flapjack and JC brings him down with a cutter. The taunt into the hard cam now and then scop up Kallie to try and eliminate her.
Foote: Keeton and Knox take control of the match once more.
Max Daemon gets into the match and wastes no time evening things up – he wipes out Knox and Keeton with a double closeline. He kisses his muscles then grabs Kallie by the hair and tosses her over the ropes into the flames.
KALLIE REZNIK HAS BEEN ELIMINATED!
Gracy comes running and Daemon backdrops him right over the top rope into the burning ring of fire.
JOHN GRACY HAS BEEN ELIMINATED!
Foote: MAX IS ON FIRE!
Sting: No pun intended!
Max and Noah now get the best of Knox and JC as they agree to work together for a moment. A double v-trigger on Knox. A double brain buster on JC. Jack Sullivan enters the match – but as she gets into the ring Noah nails her with a superkick and she tumbles over the top rope and into the flames on the outside.
JACK SULLIVAN HAS BEEN ELIMINATED!
Foote: This is just fast paced insanity… it’s getting a little smokey in here.
Sting: 4/20 blaze it Bill!
Paul Freedom hits the ring looking to avenge his partner. He dodges another superkick from Noah and nails a superman punch – Noah just crumbles. Paul hits the second rope and comes off with a moonsault taking Max out. Paul with crossbody on Knox – then JC catches him dead with a spinning backfist. Silias Romero makes his way to the ring slowly as the battle rages on. Romero is in the ring and starts kicking away at the chins of Knox. Knox hits a DDT and JC comes off the top with a slash across his chest. Noah hits a snap dragon on Knox. Max foreartms JC right in the back of the head. Freedom foolishly pulls Romero to the apron with him over the top rope and they battle back and fourth. Paul out of nowhere hits a Death Valley Driver on the apron… his own leg coming close to the flames – but avoiding. Romero on the other hand is a ball of fire on the outside.
ROMERO HAS BEEN ELIMINATED!
Sting: Paul doing just fine without his best buddy!
Logan Bailey replaces the charred remains of Romero in this match. Everyone is battling and he just sits back to relax for a while in the turnbuckle. Noah comes running with a kick – but Romero dodges leaving Noah hanging on the top rope. Paul scopes him over the ropes to the outside and into the blaze.
NOAH ORTEGA HAS BEEN ELIMINATED!
Foote: There goes the former CULT Classic Champion.
Latoya Hixx charges into the ring now. She is met with a spine buster from Knox. JC keeps the team going, dropping a knee across the beautiful woman’s face. Knox and JC pull her up to her feet and just toss her over the top rope… her hair catching fire as she hits the ground.
LATOYA HIXX HAS BEEN ELIMINATED!
Sting: There is no stopping this pair.
Logan dropkicks JC from the back and he goes over the top rope. He pulls himself up on the apron but Logan spears him off of it and into the inferno.
JC KEETON HAS BEEN ELIMINATED!
Foote: Looks like Knox is all on his own now!
Sting: It was inevitable. They both couldn’t win.
Max Daemon now laying shots on Knox. He tossed him to the ropes and on the way back he hits a spinning back elbow. Max with a suplex on Knox. Logan with a swinging neckbreaker on Freedom. Max now with an inverted DDT on Logan. He pulls him up and goes to send him over the rope but Logan slams Max’s head against the corner pad. Logan with a spinning wheel kick. Krow hits the ring and right away him and Knox come face to face.
Foot: It’s raven vs crow! Bird is the mother fucking word.
Krow and Knox just start nailing another with forearm after forearm in the middle of the ring. Krow gets the best of Knox with a closeline. He pulls knox up and drives him down with a piledriver. Daemon hits a running baseball punch on Krow knocking him down as
Azurine Vebbins hits the ring and takes Daemons knees out from underneath him. Knox spins her around and she kicks him in the nuts. Logan approaches her and a kick to the ol beanbag for him as well. Max is up and back down with… you guessed it…
Foote: A SHOT TO THE FUCKING NUTZZZ!
Vebbins flexes in the middle of the ring. Then Casnaova comes out from the back and ruins it for everyone. He hits Vebbins with a flying knee. He nails a code breaker on Vebbins and locks in a choke causing her to pass out completely. English with a hip toss on Knox. A neckbreaker from English on Freedom. Tombstone on Logan from CULT’s owner. English is going at these fuckers like an assassin. He locks in a sharp shooter on Logan locking it in deep – but English is too close to the ropes and Beaufort enters the match drop kicking him from the back and sending the boss over the top and into the flames.
CASANOVA ENGLISH HAS BEEN ELIMINATED!
Sting: WHAT! BEAUFORT JUST ELIMINATED ENGLISH!
Foote: There is going to be hell to pay.
Sting: She got revenge for this booking right here.
Vebbins seeking an opportunity grabs Beaufort by the hair and goes to send her over the ropes but Beaufort reverses and tosses Vebbins over and into the flames instead.
VEBBINS HAS BEEN ELIMINATED!
Sting: A breakout performance by Beaufort here.
Her 15 minutes of fame doesn’t last long as Krow hits her with a big boot sending Beaufort to the apron… the closelines her off into the flames.
BEAUFORT HAS BEEN ELIMINATED!
Sting: That didn’t last long.
Foote: That’s what she said.
Addy A is next to join the match and Max Daemon zeros in on her. He springs off the back of Logan Baily as he battles Paul Freedom and closelines Addy taking her ot the ground and just keeps hammering her face over and over.
Sting: Max has it out for Addy she ruined his chances of recapturing the SNUFF Championship more than once.
Foote: Fuck her up Max!
Daemon lifts Addy up and nails a leaping dragon sleeper backstabber – he locks the sleeper in tight choking Addy to sleep.
Foote: Devil Trigger and not pulling his finger off it until Addy goes limp.
Max smirks as he picks up Addy’s body and flicks it over the top rope into the flames. The fans frantically blast her with the extinguishers trying to salvage one of their favorites.
ADDY A HAS BEN ELIMINATED!
Somehow Logan Bailey has made it to the outside apron and is exchanging strikes with Krow. Krow pushes Logan back into the turnbuckle — Logan kicks Krow in the gut staggering him. He sets him up for what looks to be a Canadian destroyer – but Krow backdrops him on the apron. Logan manages to hold on using the bottom rope – flames lapping at his toes. Krow starts stomping him. Paul Freedom breaks it up trying to suplex Krow back into the ring…. But Krow gets him up instead – he has him vertical teetering on the edge of being suplexed out of the ring… Paul kicks him legs and falls back into the ring breaking the hold. Logan is back up and goes at it with rights to the side of Krow’s head – then a high drop kick from Freedom inside the ring send them both into the flames below – they swing at each other all the way down. Battle up the ramp even after the fans put them out. Trey Bouchet passes them on his way to the ring.
Foote: What a battle.
Sting: Paul Freedom showing he can be effective without his partner in crime.
KROW AND LOGAN BAILEY HAVE BEEN ELIMINATED!
Trey enters the match like a suplex merchant. A belly to belly on Knox, a regular suplex on Max Daemon. Paul swings and Trey ducks and he hits a German, hangs on and hits another German… one more German… then Trey scoops Paul up and tosses him clear over the fucking ropes with a belly to back. Trey screams circling the ring as the only man standing.
Foote: Fuck that is one way to stop Paul Freedom’s momentum.
PAUL FREEDOM HAS BEEN ELIMINATED!
Trey hits a Saito suplex on Max, then a belly to belly on Matthew Knox. Trey with a backdrop on Max. He locks in a single leg crab and flips over to face the entryway just as Junko Souma springs off the top rope and takes Trey down with a double knee. The crowd is chanting Junko’s name as she is the only one standing in the ring. Daemon sits up and eats a kick from Junko. Knox is tired being in this math nearly from the start but he spins Junko around and hits a exploder suplex followed by a lionsault. When he gets up Max Daemon takes Knox out with a big boot to the back of the head. Addison Stockton runs down the ramp and slides into the ring. Max sends her to the ropes but she comes back with a crossbody taking Daemon down. Junko is battling once again with Knox – she is laying out kicks on Knox in the corner. She tries to push the bigger man over the rope but Knox clubs her on the back driving her down to her knees. Knox hits a piledriver on Junko. He takes out Stockton with a closeline. He and Max meet in the middle of the ring and start to exchange rights and lefts….
Foote: Oh things are about to heat up.
Sting: Kilroy is coming!
Kilroy clears Matt and Max out with a double close line. He picks up Addison in a Gorilla press and tosses her over the ropes into the flames. Then his head snaps to a downed Junko Souma.
ADDISON STOCKTON HAS BEEN ELIMINATED!
Trey does the dumbest thing he possibly could by trying to cut off Kilroy. He manages to hits German suplex – Kilroy holds the back of his head and rolls to his feet he spears Trey almost driving himself right through him. He tosses Trey over the top ropes and continues his stomp toward Junko Souma.
TREY BOUCHET HAS BEEN ELIMINATED!
Sting: Kilroy on a tear on his way to his arch rival Junko Souma.
Junko Souma stand up to Kilroy – glaring up at the big man she slaps him right across the mutha fuckin mouth! Kilroy throws Junko to the ropes and she comes back diving through the air with a forearm to Kilroy’s painted face. His head snaps back, but in a rage he unleashes a flail of strikes pounding Junko down to the canvas. He picks her up and drops her down hear first into the turnbuckle. Kilroy picks her up again and drops Junko down so she smashes her face off the metal turnbuckle post this time. Junko starts bleeding badly. She puts her hand on her face and blood trickles out from between her fingers.
Foote: He wants to kill Junko Souma… it’s all he cares about.. It’s all he thinks about.
Sting: Sounds like love.
Grace Leary is the last to enter the match. She slides under the ropes but takes no interest in stopping Kilroy’s assault. She just goes to work laying a few boots to Max Daemon. Kilroy is trying to rip Junko Souma’s head from her shoulders – he lifts her off the ground by it – but she drags him down with a jaw breaker. The crowd pops as Kilroy falls backward and Junko hits a drop kick. With blood pouring down her face she hits chops after chop before transitioning to forearms. Junko back Kilroy right to the ropes and he’s leaning over them – then Kilroy tosses Junko over the top rope – het legs kick and kick Kilroy raises his hands cheering as if he had finally beat his greatest rival. Junko pulls herself up – as Kilroy spins around she wraps her legs around his bald head and pulls him over the top rope into the flames.
KILROY HAS BEEN ELIMINATED!
Foote: Fuck she did it again…
Sting: She bested Kilroy.
Kilroy however runs back into the ring while fully ablaze he hits Junko with a flaming closeline that turns her inside out and a body splash before security jumps in the ring shoots him with fire extinguishers – dropping one in the ring.
Foote: A FLAMING CLOSELINE FROM KILROY! THIS MAN IS UNHINGED!
Sting: We know this isn’t going to end until he ENDS Junko Souma. He’s left her bloody anc charred in the ring.
Grace Leary with a swimming neckbreaker on Knox. She hits Max Daemon with a wheel borrow bulldog. She hits the ropes and dropkicks Max as he starts to get up. Leary grabs Knox and hits a standing frankensteiner. She then heads to the top rope. As Max gets to his feet Grace comes off with a shooting star DDT.
Foote: CAUGHT HIM WITH HER FINISHER!
Max is out cold. Grace goes to pick him up but Knox intercepts her with a one legged codebreaker. Knox gets up spitting on the ground. Junko is pulling herself up with the ropes. She stomps toward Knox and lights him up with forearms – she screams on the last one and cracks him so hard he falls to his knees then on his face.
JUNKO! JUNKO! JUNKO!
Sting: She is getting the biggest pops in CULT history up her pay.
Foote: We blew all our extra cash to bring JD Driftwood back.
Grace hits a snapmare on Junko, kicks her in the spine – punts her in the head then does a double stomp to her gut. Max Daemon is up though and he grabs Grace by the back of the neck sending her over the top rope and to the apron. Daemon grapples with Grace then hits her with a stunner, hanging her up on the top rope and sending her into the ring of fire surrounding the squared circle.
GRACE LEARY HAS BEEN ELIMINATED!
Foote: We are down to the final three. These foalks can almost taste victory.
Max looks down at Grace on the outside as she is just being pulled out. He smirks. He spins around and Junko folds him the fuck up with a Ki Krusher '99.
Sting: JNK DRIVER!!!!
Junko wipes the blood from her eyes and picks Daemon up pushing him toward the rope… his dead weight a little too much to get him over the ropes alone… so Knox helps out and together they flip Daemon to the outside and into the flames.
Foote: What MORE can Max Daemon go through. HE WAS BRANDED! HE WAS BURNED! HE DID A BLOOD LETTING!
MAX DAEMON HAS BEEN ELIMINATED!
Sting: We are down to the final two… it’s Junko Souma and Matthew Knox who is making his debut and has been in this thing since the start pretty much.
Knox lets Junko back up and gets his breath. The two go back at it, slugging it out in the middle of the ring. Knox with a body slam, to his surprise Junko pops back up and hits him with a fucking body slam. She flexes, blood rolling down her face. Knox is back up to greet her. He hits Junko with an exploder suplex, she pretty much bounces off the canvas and back to her feet. Knox hits a GTS.
Foote: INTO THE VOID!
Knox brings Junko up and throws her over the top rope, but she hangs onto it. The crowd cheers. Knox turns around and kicks and punches but Junko has a deathgrip on the top rope. Knox goes to run at Junko but she launches herself back into the ring between the ropes spearing him.
Sting: Junko Souma won’t quit!
She is back in the ring and she backs Knox up with forearms, kicking the extinguisher his way accidentally. Junko has Knox reeling on the ropes cracking him with chops and forearms over and over – she backs up the halfway point in the ring runs and his Knox with a closeline taking him off his feet – she does it once more and Knox is almost over the top… she then runs full tilt across the ring.. But as soon as she goes – Knox picks up the extinguisher and runs behind her just a few steps back – Junko hits the ropes and just as she turns Knox smokes her with the extinguisher. Junko tumbles over the top rope into the fire – she is put out quickly. Knox squirts the extinguisher all over the ring and tosses it down.
DING! DING! DING!
Foote: This fuckers first battle royal win or some shit.
Sting: What an effort by Junko Souma… What a match.
JUNKO SOUMA HAS BEEN ELIMINATED!
Anderson: THE WINNER O F THIS MATCH THE RAVEN MATT KNOX!!!!!
Foote: He has punched his ticket to face the winner of the main event at All Hells’ Acoming for the NEW WORLD CHAMPIONSHIP!
Knox raises his hands in the air as a shit ton of confetti blasts from the turnbuckles. He collapses to a knee and pulls himself up with the ring ropes as the scene cuts.
A close up of a lit cigarette on the big screen and everyone knows it’s Casanova English. The camera zooms out as English unwraps his hand and wrist tape after being burned in the inferno battle royal.
English: Beaufort… I guess you got your revenge for all the hardcore match bookings. Relish this, it’s not often someone like you gets one over on a man like me. But I’m not here to talk about you. I’m here to address the main eventers in the room. Johnny Bacchus… congrats on the Killdozer Cup. Am I supposed to upset you threw it in the trash? It was disposable for me anyway. It was just a prop to get you right where I want you. And look… you couldn’t reject the opportunity to finally become a world champion. Nothing means more than that to you, that moniker… not even Lissie Hope. And I wielded that knowledge. I made you sacrifice your body at the altar of Casanova English just so you could destroy someone you love. You took the bait Johnny… hook… line… sinker.
English balls up the tape he ripped from his hands and throws it at the camera. He takes a hard drag off his cigarette.
English: You Lissie, you probably thought I was crazy giving you another opportunity at the top championship in the house I built. But again… all you want is a spotlight to tan in. All you want is your TV time an accolade and look, you got it… shiny and bright and a fifth world championship… but ate you happy? Are you proud of who you are? Or are you realizing it all isn’t enough… are you falling back into old habits to mask unhappiness… I sure hope so.
English takes a few sharp drags off his cigarette and blows it toward the camera.
English: Tonight it’s CULT’s Romeo and Juliet… it’s Bonnie and Clyde… a love story… True Romance. Tonight one thing is guaranteed. We see the crucifixion of a false idol. See a man like me… I’ll burn my whole house down to rid it of a few cockroaches.
English flicks the cigarette at the camera as we flow into the main events.
English: Beaufort… I guess you got your revenge for all the hardcore match bookings. Relish this, it’s not often someone like you gets one over on a man like me. But I’m not here to talk about you. I’m here to address the main eventers in the room. Johnny Bacchus… congrats on the Killdozer Cup. Am I supposed to upset you threw it in the trash? It was disposable for me anyway. It was just a prop to get you right where I want you. And look… you couldn’t reject the opportunity to finally become a world champion. Nothing means more than that to you, that moniker… not even Lissie Hope. And I wielded that knowledge. I made you sacrifice your body at the altar of Casanova English just so you could destroy someone you love. You took the bait Johnny… hook… line… sinker.
English balls up the tape he ripped from his hands and throws it at the camera. He takes a hard drag off his cigarette.
English: You Lissie, you probably thought I was crazy giving you another opportunity at the top championship in the house I built. But again… all you want is a spotlight to tan in. All you want is your TV time an accolade and look, you got it… shiny and bright and a fifth world championship… but ate you happy? Are you proud of who you are? Or are you realizing it all isn’t enough… are you falling back into old habits to mask unhappiness… I sure hope so.
English takes a few sharp drags off his cigarette and blows it toward the camera.
English: Tonight it’s CULT’s Romeo and Juliet… it’s Bonnie and Clyde… a love story… True Romance. Tonight one thing is guaranteed. We see the crucifixion of a false idol. See a man like me… I’ll burn my whole house down to rid it of a few cockroaches.
English flicks the cigarette at the camera as we flow into the main events.
Anderson: The following contest is your main event of the evening. It is a crucifixion match for the NEW WORLD CHAMPIONSHIP! To win the match a person's legs must be wrapped to the cross using barbed wire and two nails driven through their palms to hang them from the crucifix.
As the drum roll of “Cherub Rock” begins, the lights in the arena die. The guitars begin, the lights flickering white in time. The song kicks into high-gear, the introduction truncated, and the lights flash with brighter intensity as the guitars get heavier and heavier, revealing the outline of a figure now standing among them. Soon, the song explodes into swing, and the lights go up, revealing Johnny Bacchus, standing on the stage, with a black baseball bat draped over his shoulders.
Foote: Bacchus surprised us all by winning the Killdozer Cup and as you can see he doesn’t have it with him tonight.
Sting: He can act how every he wants, but there is no doubt the New World Championship is enticing enough to go to war with Lissie Hope.
He wears a black peacoat over a black turtleneck, and he holds the bat with his left hand, a single black leather glove concealing it. On his head, he wears a rubber Halloween gorilla mask. He reaches up to pull it off and shakes his shaggy black hair out of his face before he tosses the mask nonchalantly into the crowd.
Anderson: Making his way to the ring, from Los Angeles, CA, weighing in at 215 lbs… he is “The Rascal King” Jonathan Bacchus!
Bacchus idly slaps hands with any appreciative fans – he rolls his eyes at the less appreciative. At the base of the ring, he leans his bat against the steps before reaching up to grab the ropes and pull himself up. He vaults over the top rope and climbs the turnbuckle, taking a moment to take in the reaction of the crowd, boo or cheer. When he drops down, he pulls the peacoat off and tosses it over the top before pulling the turtleneck over his head and leaving it in the corner. Then he reclines back and awaits the match to start.
Sting: Look at that cross hanging at the bottom of the rampway… this is going to be the most emotional contest in this company's history.
The heavy synths of "You'll Miss Me When I'm Not Around" by Grimes begins. The child-like adlibs and the booming bass shakes the seats underneath each audience member. They rise to their feet in anticipation of the arrival of the New World Champion, "The Blackheart" Lissie Hope!
I shot myself yesterday / got to Heaven anyway
The crowd jumps out of their seats as Grimes' continues to sing into the pre-chorus. The anticipation is growing, and the cheers start to crescendo.
If you don't bleed / then you don't die
Cross my heart / and hope to fly
Finally, the curtains spread and Lissie Hope emerges at the top of the entrance stage, standing for a moment and appreciating all of the cheers being levied in her direction – the New World Championship around her waist.
Sting: What a reaction for the champion. This has to get under Casnaova’s skin.
Foote: You heard him earlier. The championship is just a prop. Just a tool he is using to destroy Lissie Hope. Win or lose… the bitch won’t be herself.
If they could see me now / smiling six-feet underground
She notices signs of support in the front rows, and she acknowledges those young fans with high-fives. She sprints down the ramp, sliding under the bottom rope. She bounces to her feet and raises her arms to the crowd.
You'll miss me when I'm not around
Anderson: Ladies and gentlemen, from New Orleans, Louisiana... standing 5'4" and weighing 143 pounds... "THE BLACKHEART"... LISSSSSSIEEEE HOOOOOOPE!
She enters the ring, wearing a cut-off "Hero" tee-shirt, revealing a black Under Armour exercise top and black and pink workout pants. She tosses the shirt into the front rows, watching the fans fight over the memorabilia. Lissie unstraps the championship and leans over the ropes holding it up in the air proudly. She hands the belt to referee JJ Huffman and goes to the corner to acknowledge the fans, the song fades to a hush and she awaits the opening bell.
DING! DING! DING!
Lissie hops down from the rope and looks across the ring at Johnny Bacchus for the first time. Both of them close their eyes for a moment before they start to circle one another in the ring.
Sting: You could cut the tension with a knife. Two lovers.. Or ex-lovers… or whatever the fuck… regardless two people who love eachother very much set with the task of nailing the other to a cross.
Foote: Neither of them would be here unless they want to do the fucking job.
Lissie kicks it off literally with some playful shin kicks – Bacchus has no problem returning a few then things gradually gets stiffer as Lissie cracks a few left jabs into Bacchus chin. He shoots for a takedown but Lissie sprawls, blocking it. She backs him up with kicks and punches into the corner, but Bacchus gets the last laugh spinning them out from the corner with a tornado DDT. Lissie up with Johnny slams her face down to the canvas with a bulldog. Hope is back up to her feet. Hope stops Bacchus cold with a roundhouse kick to the head knocking him to the ground.
Foote: Love behind every shot. Every move… emotion flowing in the ring… it’s storytelling at it’s finest.
Sting: Whatever.
Hope running with a knee strike, Bacchus hits a flapjack. Hope is up and Bacchus takes her down with a swinging neckbreaker. Bacchus hits a running knee strike followed by a shotgun dropkick. Bacchus waits for Hope to get up and hits a spinebuster. He follows her to the canvas with a leaping elbow drop. Bacchus locks ina figure four – Lissie fights and fights and manages to roll over and put the pressure on Johnny. Bacchus flips over and breaks the hold. Mad scramble to their feet and Hope hits a belly to belly suplex.
Foote: Back and forth. I think each one of them are too chicken shit to put the other one away. We might be stuck here all night.
Sting: I think that title means a lot more to them than either of them let on.
Like Bacchus can hear the announce team he comes with some hard strikes. A DDT – a snap suplex – Bacchus with a fameasser. He throws Lisse to the corner and runs, hitting a big boot in the corner. Lissie falls down and Bacchus with a running V-trigger in the corner. Bacchus climbs the opposite turnbuckle and comes across the ring with a coast to coast.
Sting: Johnny turning up the intensity.
Foote: Spike her palms and end this!
Bacchus pulls Lissie up dragging her body toward the cross. Hope pulls him back with a Russian leg sweep. German suplex from Hope on Bacchus. Hope hits a reverse DDT – Hope hangs on and locks in a dragon sleeper. Hope is trying to make Johnny pass out but he pulls her over into a piledriver – Hope reverses again flipping Bacchus back over into a tombstone piledriver driving Bacchus skull down into the canvas.
Foote: I bet they have hit a few of these same positions in bed.
Sting: Lissie Hope is a freak.
Lissie mouths the word “sorry” as she locks in the double underhooks, but Bacchus hits a backdrop. Bacchus hits the ropes and comes back with a drop kick. Bacchus pulls Lissie up and nails a forearm. Bacchus shakes his head at his own actions as he hits a belly to belly… Hope is up and turn around… Gutwrench Piledriver. Hope is out cold and the crowd is chanting her name for her to get back into this one.
Foote: The Tragedy at Buffalo!!!!
Sting: He has the champion reeling.
Bacchus drags Hope the outside, he is by the cross and shakes his head at what he is about to do. Lissie Hope comes back to life dragging Bacchus into the cross. Hope battles back and pushes Bacchus under the ropes and back into the ring. Hope stomps on Bacchus, he gets to his knees and takes Hope down. She battles, rolling him over and laying some ground and pound. Bacchus reverses locking in a triangle choke. Hope fights and flips Bacchus over to a pin that doesn’t count in this match – but it’s enough to cause Bacchus to break the hold.
Sting: Johnny had Hope right where he wanted her but now she is battling back into this one.
Foote: With the crowd behind her like they are tonight it’s pretty well a two on one match up.
Hope with an atomic drop – she hits the ropes and takes Bacchus down with a closeline. Hope hits a leg drop across his throat. She springs off the ropes with a standing splash. Johnny is up to his feet now and Hope hist a deadly combo sending him crashing – bicycle kick to the chest – roundhouse to the dome – and a spinning back elbow that puts Johnny to sleep.
Sting: She has a chance to win this.
Foote: Oh, fuck sake. English’s plan to have her lose the title tonight will go right to hell.
Bacchus up kicks Lissie off of him and rolls to his feet – as he does though Hope meets him with a spear – the back of Johnny’s head hitting hard. Hope taunt to the cheering crowd as tears well up in her eyes. She kicks Johnny in the midsection and locks in the underhooks. Lissie pulls him up in the air and drops him down to the canvas with a pedigree.
Foote: CROWN OF THORNS BY THE CHAMPION!
Sting: JOHNNY BACCHUS IS OUT FUCKING COLD!
He starts to twitch through. Maybe it’s the emotion – the love – the anger – but Hope wipes a tear from her eye as she heads to the top rope. Maybe she hopes if Johnny is nearly dead when he is nailed to the cross he won’t remember what it felt like for the nails to pass through the flesh of his palm. Lissie comes off the top with a corkscrew senton.
Foote: CHERRY BOMB FROM LISSIE HOPE ONTO BACCHUS!!!!
HOPE! HOPE! HOPE! HOPE! HOPE!
Sting: This crowd is going nuts for The Blackheart here in Tennessee.
Hope pulls Bacchus limp body out to ringside where the cross is, she puts him on her shoulders and puts him against the cross's base. She secures his legs in the barbed wire and grabs a hammer and spike. She shakes her head and tears roll down her eyes as she places the spike in the center of one of Johnny’s palms.
Hope: I am so sorry.
With a hard strike the drives through the palm of Bacchus – his eyes open instantly and he looks into the soul of Lissie Hope… seeing what he always saw… a fighter.
Sting: Disgusting how that spike split through the challenger’s flesh.
Foote: This fed is wild man.
Bacchus uses his free hand to swipe at Lissie and in a moment of pure instinct she bops him on the head with the mallet and puts him to sleep once more. Lissie is lining up the other hand with a spike getting ready to hit the nail when the lights go out and words appear on screen.
“The lord giveth…”
Hope jumps down from the cross. She looks around as the lights come on – but from behind her Casanova English slips out from under the ring. He is taunting as the crowd boos and when Hope turns around he leaps into the air and pulls her down with a code breaker locking in a triangle choke til she turns blue and goes to sleep.
Foote: SILENCE OF THE LAMB BY CASANOVA ENGLISH!
Sting: He just screwed Lissie Hope and now he is walking up the ramp lighting a cigarette. This man is unhinged; he has no business running a wrestling company.
Bacchus comes to and sees Lissie down – not knowing how. He pulls the spike from his hand and goes down on the mat. He goes to check on Hope and she barely fights back. Bacchus swallows and lines Lissie up for it… a move so good it’s description is trademarked.
Foote: HOLY FUCK THE BEST MOVE IN PRO WRESTLING STAR PLATINUM THE WORLD!
Bacchus puts Lissie on his shoulder – he puts her up on the cross. Wraps her legs in barbed wire. He cringes as he drives one nail through Hope’s hand. She’s still out cold – asleep through the mutilation. Tears roll down Bacchus cheeks as he pushes the final spike through Hope’s other hand.
Bacchus: SHE’S UP! GET HER DOWN! GET HER THE FUCK DOWN!
DING! DING! DING!
Sting: Lissie Hope has been crucified and Johnny Bacchus is the new champion.
JJ Huffman and Tom Garcia rip the spikes from Hope's hands and cut the wire. She falls down outside the ring. Huffman is trying to push the New World Championship into Bacchus hand – but he doesn’t pick it up. He just holds Hope's broken body.
Anderson: THE WINNER OF THIS MATCH AND NEW NEW WORLD CHAMPION…. JOHNNY BACCHUS!!!!
The name rings through the arena and Johnny doesn’t heart fucking shit. Then a hand on the championship – Matthew Knox’s. He picks it up and holds it out… Lissie Hope falls through Bacchus’ arms and onto the ground… he reaches out…
Foote: What a fucking wild night in professional wrestling!
Sting: Join us next month of All Hells’ Acomin when Johnny Bacchus will defend the New World Championship against Matthew Knox.
Bacchus yanks the New World Championship from Knox’s hand and steps toward him getting chest to chest… stepping over Hope’s body.
As the drum roll of “Cherub Rock” begins, the lights in the arena die. The guitars begin, the lights flickering white in time. The song kicks into high-gear, the introduction truncated, and the lights flash with brighter intensity as the guitars get heavier and heavier, revealing the outline of a figure now standing among them. Soon, the song explodes into swing, and the lights go up, revealing Johnny Bacchus, standing on the stage, with a black baseball bat draped over his shoulders.
Foote: Bacchus surprised us all by winning the Killdozer Cup and as you can see he doesn’t have it with him tonight.
Sting: He can act how every he wants, but there is no doubt the New World Championship is enticing enough to go to war with Lissie Hope.
He wears a black peacoat over a black turtleneck, and he holds the bat with his left hand, a single black leather glove concealing it. On his head, he wears a rubber Halloween gorilla mask. He reaches up to pull it off and shakes his shaggy black hair out of his face before he tosses the mask nonchalantly into the crowd.
Anderson: Making his way to the ring, from Los Angeles, CA, weighing in at 215 lbs… he is “The Rascal King” Jonathan Bacchus!
Bacchus idly slaps hands with any appreciative fans – he rolls his eyes at the less appreciative. At the base of the ring, he leans his bat against the steps before reaching up to grab the ropes and pull himself up. He vaults over the top rope and climbs the turnbuckle, taking a moment to take in the reaction of the crowd, boo or cheer. When he drops down, he pulls the peacoat off and tosses it over the top before pulling the turtleneck over his head and leaving it in the corner. Then he reclines back and awaits the match to start.
Sting: Look at that cross hanging at the bottom of the rampway… this is going to be the most emotional contest in this company's history.
The heavy synths of "You'll Miss Me When I'm Not Around" by Grimes begins. The child-like adlibs and the booming bass shakes the seats underneath each audience member. They rise to their feet in anticipation of the arrival of the New World Champion, "The Blackheart" Lissie Hope!
I shot myself yesterday / got to Heaven anyway
The crowd jumps out of their seats as Grimes' continues to sing into the pre-chorus. The anticipation is growing, and the cheers start to crescendo.
If you don't bleed / then you don't die
Cross my heart / and hope to fly
Finally, the curtains spread and Lissie Hope emerges at the top of the entrance stage, standing for a moment and appreciating all of the cheers being levied in her direction – the New World Championship around her waist.
Sting: What a reaction for the champion. This has to get under Casnaova’s skin.
Foote: You heard him earlier. The championship is just a prop. Just a tool he is using to destroy Lissie Hope. Win or lose… the bitch won’t be herself.
If they could see me now / smiling six-feet underground
She notices signs of support in the front rows, and she acknowledges those young fans with high-fives. She sprints down the ramp, sliding under the bottom rope. She bounces to her feet and raises her arms to the crowd.
You'll miss me when I'm not around
Anderson: Ladies and gentlemen, from New Orleans, Louisiana... standing 5'4" and weighing 143 pounds... "THE BLACKHEART"... LISSSSSSIEEEE HOOOOOOPE!
She enters the ring, wearing a cut-off "Hero" tee-shirt, revealing a black Under Armour exercise top and black and pink workout pants. She tosses the shirt into the front rows, watching the fans fight over the memorabilia. Lissie unstraps the championship and leans over the ropes holding it up in the air proudly. She hands the belt to referee JJ Huffman and goes to the corner to acknowledge the fans, the song fades to a hush and she awaits the opening bell.
DING! DING! DING!
Lissie hops down from the rope and looks across the ring at Johnny Bacchus for the first time. Both of them close their eyes for a moment before they start to circle one another in the ring.
Sting: You could cut the tension with a knife. Two lovers.. Or ex-lovers… or whatever the fuck… regardless two people who love eachother very much set with the task of nailing the other to a cross.
Foote: Neither of them would be here unless they want to do the fucking job.
Lissie kicks it off literally with some playful shin kicks – Bacchus has no problem returning a few then things gradually gets stiffer as Lissie cracks a few left jabs into Bacchus chin. He shoots for a takedown but Lissie sprawls, blocking it. She backs him up with kicks and punches into the corner, but Bacchus gets the last laugh spinning them out from the corner with a tornado DDT. Lissie up with Johnny slams her face down to the canvas with a bulldog. Hope is back up to her feet. Hope stops Bacchus cold with a roundhouse kick to the head knocking him to the ground.
Foote: Love behind every shot. Every move… emotion flowing in the ring… it’s storytelling at it’s finest.
Sting: Whatever.
Hope running with a knee strike, Bacchus hits a flapjack. Hope is up and Bacchus takes her down with a swinging neckbreaker. Bacchus hits a running knee strike followed by a shotgun dropkick. Bacchus waits for Hope to get up and hits a spinebuster. He follows her to the canvas with a leaping elbow drop. Bacchus locks ina figure four – Lissie fights and fights and manages to roll over and put the pressure on Johnny. Bacchus flips over and breaks the hold. Mad scramble to their feet and Hope hits a belly to belly suplex.
Foote: Back and forth. I think each one of them are too chicken shit to put the other one away. We might be stuck here all night.
Sting: I think that title means a lot more to them than either of them let on.
Like Bacchus can hear the announce team he comes with some hard strikes. A DDT – a snap suplex – Bacchus with a fameasser. He throws Lisse to the corner and runs, hitting a big boot in the corner. Lissie falls down and Bacchus with a running V-trigger in the corner. Bacchus climbs the opposite turnbuckle and comes across the ring with a coast to coast.
Sting: Johnny turning up the intensity.
Foote: Spike her palms and end this!
Bacchus pulls Lissie up dragging her body toward the cross. Hope pulls him back with a Russian leg sweep. German suplex from Hope on Bacchus. Hope hits a reverse DDT – Hope hangs on and locks in a dragon sleeper. Hope is trying to make Johnny pass out but he pulls her over into a piledriver – Hope reverses again flipping Bacchus back over into a tombstone piledriver driving Bacchus skull down into the canvas.
Foote: I bet they have hit a few of these same positions in bed.
Sting: Lissie Hope is a freak.
Lissie mouths the word “sorry” as she locks in the double underhooks, but Bacchus hits a backdrop. Bacchus hits the ropes and comes back with a drop kick. Bacchus pulls Lissie up and nails a forearm. Bacchus shakes his head at his own actions as he hits a belly to belly… Hope is up and turn around… Gutwrench Piledriver. Hope is out cold and the crowd is chanting her name for her to get back into this one.
Foote: The Tragedy at Buffalo!!!!
Sting: He has the champion reeling.
Bacchus drags Hope the outside, he is by the cross and shakes his head at what he is about to do. Lissie Hope comes back to life dragging Bacchus into the cross. Hope battles back and pushes Bacchus under the ropes and back into the ring. Hope stomps on Bacchus, he gets to his knees and takes Hope down. She battles, rolling him over and laying some ground and pound. Bacchus reverses locking in a triangle choke. Hope fights and flips Bacchus over to a pin that doesn’t count in this match – but it’s enough to cause Bacchus to break the hold.
Sting: Johnny had Hope right where he wanted her but now she is battling back into this one.
Foote: With the crowd behind her like they are tonight it’s pretty well a two on one match up.
Hope with an atomic drop – she hits the ropes and takes Bacchus down with a closeline. Hope hits a leg drop across his throat. She springs off the ropes with a standing splash. Johnny is up to his feet now and Hope hist a deadly combo sending him crashing – bicycle kick to the chest – roundhouse to the dome – and a spinning back elbow that puts Johnny to sleep.
Sting: She has a chance to win this.
Foote: Oh, fuck sake. English’s plan to have her lose the title tonight will go right to hell.
Bacchus up kicks Lissie off of him and rolls to his feet – as he does though Hope meets him with a spear – the back of Johnny’s head hitting hard. Hope taunt to the cheering crowd as tears well up in her eyes. She kicks Johnny in the midsection and locks in the underhooks. Lissie pulls him up in the air and drops him down to the canvas with a pedigree.
Foote: CROWN OF THORNS BY THE CHAMPION!
Sting: JOHNNY BACCHUS IS OUT FUCKING COLD!
He starts to twitch through. Maybe it’s the emotion – the love – the anger – but Hope wipes a tear from her eye as she heads to the top rope. Maybe she hopes if Johnny is nearly dead when he is nailed to the cross he won’t remember what it felt like for the nails to pass through the flesh of his palm. Lissie comes off the top with a corkscrew senton.
Foote: CHERRY BOMB FROM LISSIE HOPE ONTO BACCHUS!!!!
HOPE! HOPE! HOPE! HOPE! HOPE!
Sting: This crowd is going nuts for The Blackheart here in Tennessee.
Hope pulls Bacchus limp body out to ringside where the cross is, she puts him on her shoulders and puts him against the cross's base. She secures his legs in the barbed wire and grabs a hammer and spike. She shakes her head and tears roll down her eyes as she places the spike in the center of one of Johnny’s palms.
Hope: I am so sorry.
With a hard strike the drives through the palm of Bacchus – his eyes open instantly and he looks into the soul of Lissie Hope… seeing what he always saw… a fighter.
Sting: Disgusting how that spike split through the challenger’s flesh.
Foote: This fed is wild man.
Bacchus uses his free hand to swipe at Lissie and in a moment of pure instinct she bops him on the head with the mallet and puts him to sleep once more. Lissie is lining up the other hand with a spike getting ready to hit the nail when the lights go out and words appear on screen.
“The lord giveth…”
Hope jumps down from the cross. She looks around as the lights come on – but from behind her Casanova English slips out from under the ring. He is taunting as the crowd boos and when Hope turns around he leaps into the air and pulls her down with a code breaker locking in a triangle choke til she turns blue and goes to sleep.
Foote: SILENCE OF THE LAMB BY CASANOVA ENGLISH!
Sting: He just screwed Lissie Hope and now he is walking up the ramp lighting a cigarette. This man is unhinged; he has no business running a wrestling company.
Bacchus comes to and sees Lissie down – not knowing how. He pulls the spike from his hand and goes down on the mat. He goes to check on Hope and she barely fights back. Bacchus swallows and lines Lissie up for it… a move so good it’s description is trademarked.
Foote: HOLY FUCK THE BEST MOVE IN PRO WRESTLING STAR PLATINUM THE WORLD!
Bacchus puts Lissie on his shoulder – he puts her up on the cross. Wraps her legs in barbed wire. He cringes as he drives one nail through Hope’s hand. She’s still out cold – asleep through the mutilation. Tears roll down Bacchus cheeks as he pushes the final spike through Hope’s other hand.
Bacchus: SHE’S UP! GET HER DOWN! GET HER THE FUCK DOWN!
DING! DING! DING!
Sting: Lissie Hope has been crucified and Johnny Bacchus is the new champion.
JJ Huffman and Tom Garcia rip the spikes from Hope's hands and cut the wire. She falls down outside the ring. Huffman is trying to push the New World Championship into Bacchus hand – but he doesn’t pick it up. He just holds Hope's broken body.
Anderson: THE WINNER OF THIS MATCH AND NEW NEW WORLD CHAMPION…. JOHNNY BACCHUS!!!!
The name rings through the arena and Johnny doesn’t heart fucking shit. Then a hand on the championship – Matthew Knox’s. He picks it up and holds it out… Lissie Hope falls through Bacchus’ arms and onto the ground… he reaches out…
Foote: What a fucking wild night in professional wrestling!
Sting: Join us next month of All Hells’ Acomin when Johnny Bacchus will defend the New World Championship against Matthew Knox.
Bacchus yanks the New World Championship from Knox’s hand and steps toward him getting chest to chest… stepping over Hope’s body.
